(overheard parents talking)

Mum: I'm worried about our son, I guess he was hacking today
Dad: What? [Chuckle] No. He's not that grown up enough. Prolly programming.
Mum: But, the screen was all blue and there was nothing but text on it. And then suddenly it went blank. So, I asked him what he was doing and he said it was a BSOD. That sounds scary NSA level stuff.
Dad: it isn't [came out of the room, saw me there]

(And we laughed and laughed and laughed)

My mum said I needed company, so I started one

One day my mum got a call from a man claiming to be from Microsoft. He said there is something wrong with the computer and tried to make her install TeamViewer to "fix" it, but my mum didn't manage to install it for several hours until he gave up.
Sometimes knowing even less can save your PC.

3 years ago, when I was 12, I told my family that I started programming and that it was my passion. My mum wasn't interested too much about it, but my dad was, and he encouraged me. He told me that he wanted me to become a great programmer.
He died about one year ago, and I stopped coding because I felt bad; every time I opened my IDE I couldn't type anything.
Idk why, some weeks ago I reinstalled devRant, and, idk why (again), I instantly felt good. Maybe because I understood a lot of people had my same passion.
Two days ago, I finally wrote new lines of code.
❤ you guys.

Age 12:
Mum: "You're always on the computer doing your silly codes! if you keep this up you're gonna be a failure at life!"

Age 15
Mum: "Hacking? oh please! you sound like a kid who wants attention"

Age 18
Mum: "Son, i was wrong. im sorry."

Age 25
Mum: "Are you okay over there? you're always on the computer doing your work, rest and take a nap, eat lots of carrots when you can"

even if you weren't very supportive mum, i still love you. :)

*Game Developer*: Works 16 hour days to tight deadlines, in a team restrained by budget cuts. Goes to bed every night exhausted. Games Producer releases game with known issues because deadlines.

*Gamer* (slovenly and lives with his mum, works at McDonalds): Finds minor bug which is fixed within a few days. Rants about 'Those useless fucking games devs' for days. Acts like his life is ruined. Wants a refund on a game he has played 18 hours a day for 2 years. Has 'The Best Ideas' on how to fix the game and make it perfect.

My grandma saw me programming for one whole day and she started to rant.

Grandma: "She's been sitting all day infront of her computer doing computer stuff! Electricity bill's getting higher!"
Mum: "Well at least she's not out late at night getting drunk and partying!"
Grandma: "Computer girl"

A little while ago someone here posted something about a piece of software called Pi-Hole. To that person, i wanted to say THANK YOU!!! It is probably one of the best things i ever added to my network!

Mum: Tom time to do something get off your computer
Me: *continues staring at computer*
Mum: Tom?
Me: ...
Mum: TOM
Me: Whaaa? *moves head slightly up but still doesn't take eyes off computer"
Mum: Please get off your computer there's stuff you've gotta do
Me: *finally looking up* OK just let me fix this one thing I'm so close
Mum: fine, 5 mins
*5 mins later:
Mum: come on Tom time to get off
Me: uuuggghhhhhhhh I'm nearly done please
Mum: hurry up
Me: *tries to hurry and finish as to not upset her* please I'm so close
Mum: *furious glance*
Me: *furiouser typing noises and frantic clicking*
Me: *finishes, attempts to run the program*
Program: *runs just fine and problem I was trying to fix was working great*

...

...

*something else breaks*
Me: ok mum please just this one thing
Mum: OFF

Linux <3

Stuck in the car driving mum today...

She’s concerned about my little brother’s education and asks me “Is it okay to study I.T at University?”

I just turn and look at her like you’ve got to be kidding me. “Mum I’m studying I.T”

The conversation continues with:
What jobs are there in I.T?
What are you going to do with I.T?
You should become a teacher and I’ll open a tutoring centre for you!

*sigh*

Final year of my Comp Sci degree and mum still says I shouldn't study on the computer so much.

Last time I checked a sheet of paper doesn't compile C very well

Today was Mother's Day. Everybody was posting their photos with their mothers, so I had to stay away from social networks for today to not feel sad.

It's been almost a year without mine, really miss her.

I love her, and I never showed her how much. I've not been the best son a mother could have, I'm so sorry for that. She thought me how to be strong, she was the strongest, but I'm feeling so weak now without her.
Please never miss a chance to let your mother know how much you love her, give her a hug whenever you can, talk to her every time you need somebody to talk to, listen to her stories from when she was your age. She's the most precious person you'll ever have in your life. I realized that when it was too late, don't make my mistake.

I miss you mum ❤

DevRant was just loading very slow because of bad mobile internet. I told my mum that this could be loading faster, because it's mainly text (= no large videos) that needs to be transferred. My mum answered:

"Your smartphone doesn't know that tho".

Looooong silence. Very looooong silence.

Trying to explain my job to friend who don't know computers.

Friend: So what do you do?
Me: Well they call me a "DevOps Engineer", but really I am just a Release or Automation Engineer.
Friend: What is that?
Me: Well I assist developers build and deploy their code as well as write code to automated the whole process and build the virtual servers.
Friend: So you like program?
Me: Kinda...
Friend: Dude can you write an app for me, got some ideas!
Me: (blinks) no.

I opened a Facebook account for my mum.

Fast forward 6 months, and I had to close down my own account because she was stalking me there

Github

"I still don't understand how you're paid to play with computers all day" - My Mum

If only my mum understood the extent to which people playing with computers influence the world...

Mum: "What's that?"
Me: "A book on the new version of JavaScript."
Mum: "Is that like Java?"
Me: "..."

Yay my stickers finally arrived! Thanks guys <3 @dfox @trogus

And it freaked out my mum. She called me all panicked like "you've got an international letter what did you do did you get scammed or something"
...
"Mum, those are stickers...I got for free"
"Ohhhh... ok then"
But shre was very worried there ^^'

Mum: Is this the big data?

Father: Do you know anything about Bitcoin? Can you explain me what it is?

My parents didn't really care what I was doing, they were just happy I wasn't hanging around street corners.

They were also kind enough to buy me a computer or peripherals at Christmas. My sisters were not impressed with their Barbie houses and Sylvanian Families! 😂

Sisters: "Why does he get a computer?"

Mum: "Cos he doesn't ask for new clothes all year!"

My colleague's mum made lunch for the whole office

my mum can't comprehend the idea of earning money from sitting in a chair doing stuff 😭 so when i tell her i work with computers, she always imagines me with a lab coat tearing the things down

Coming home for xmas: fixing the router, configuring new smartphones, doin backups and listen to your mum complaing bout her "linus" system 👌🏻😂

I’ve had a complicated relationship with my mother for as long as I remember and made the decision years ago to more or less cut her out of my life. I thought if anything happened to her, I’d be okay, that it wouldn’t affect me.

But my mum died on Sunday.

And I’m not okay.

When I was a kid I sleep walked often ..

Once I was about 7 I sleep walked to the computer and started playing the old pinball game on XP it was 11 my mum shouted at me to go to bed so in my sleep state.. I did

Next morning I had the high score 😔 😎

My mum told me what happened in the morning - im smarter when im dreaming

Fuck public transportation. Seriously. It's usually disgusting, too hot, too cold, to expensive and not customer Friendly.

Mum: What is a software engineer?
Me: I create soft...
Mum: Wait, don't talk all techy, you're just gonna confuse me!

THIS IS A PHP JOB BU NO THIS IS NOT YOUR MUM AND DAD'S WORDPRESS SITE!!!!!!!!

So mum wanted me to purchase her a new lettop.
Yeah, we just spoke.
While consulting on what she needs, I noticed that little flaw. So I gently told her :"mum, it's written with an A".
Mom goes:" aaaah! A LAB-TOP!"

Could not blame her. She made her life as first best scoring woman in business degree at her time.
And sure enough she understood laptop and we laughed a lot ='D

A bug is never just a mistake. It represents something bigger. An error of thinking. That makes you who you are.
-ElliotAlderson:

So, as a programmer, I'm basically the go-to tech support guy for my family (and now my gf's family).

So, my gf's mum updated windows and her computer stopped playing around through headphones, asks me for help.

I've got no fucking idea, I don't even use windows.

She's like "if your computer did this what would you do".

"I'd google the problem and randomly try solutions until it started working again. And hope I didnt break anything else."

She didn't seem happy with my debugging technique...

So out shopping on a Saturday with the other half and 12yo son.... He clearly is wise before his years when he asks

"why do we always get dragged around all of the shops mum wants too go and we have to sit there waiting while if we want to go anywhere she complains and we can't?"

Hate to generalise but he's already figured out what most shopping trips in married life are!

Changed the HTML of my school site locally to say we went back to school on the Tuesday not the Monday and blagged an extra lay in.

My auntie then called my mum and told her my cousins were at school why aren't me and my sister? BUSTED.

So worth it though!

Public announcement: if you build shitty software and get called out for it, either fix it and stand up for it, or fuck off. Nobody needs your idiotic passive aggressive tone.

Thank you

Oh mum...
My mum comes to me asking "What's happening on my phone? What's this little thingy?" (typical question)
*looks at (android) phone*
*sees downloading icon*
Me: "It's downloading something..."
*pulls down notification bar*
*I see Facebook app updating*
Mum: "What is it?"
*3 seconds later*
"Oh it's the Facebook"

Took her literally 3 seconds to recognize😅
Love my mum though😊😏

Mum: get a real job.

TL;TR

My mum just came to me asking me why the mouse is not working ...like I'm GOD of electronics :( (I'm just a simple dev) I simply though that the battery is dead because it's old. Soooooo.....
I showed her how to open it and how to change the battery. After 5 min she came back with a new battery and the same mouse asking me to fix it for her....

In my mind I literally snapped my brain was bleeding and exploding at the same time.

I just cringed a fake smile and changed the battery in front of her very slowly. I sure she won't remember how to do it next time.

At the end of the story I can't talk back or be angry to my parents I have to much respect for them. They though me everything from how to poop, speak, dress, eat and so on.

Be kind to your parents.

My dad thinks I write a hundred characters which seem like an alien language a minute. My mum thinks I'm just 1 click away from hacking Pentagon. My step-dad, someone who knows computers a tad, knows I'm just typing random stuff hoping it works and he knows for sure I do not have a clue how it works.

I got fucking scammed.
Too bad that I just realized it.
As most of you know, I am in Cappadocia atm. We had a balloon flight. Yada yada yada.
Then I took a green tour that was provided from an travel agency that was a Partner of the hotel I am in.
[Skip]
The guide brought us to a stone seller. At the jewellry store, we were told that they have a special kind of gem. It gets mined in Mugla(Turkey).
Thus we thought that the stones they sell are mined natural gems called Zultanit.
Oh boy were we fucking wrong.
The zultanit gems are able to change their color depending on the light it receives. We were all fascinated at the demonstration. They told us that it is the second Turkish gem. First comes Turquoise.
I bough a zultanit bracelet for myself. And a zultanit ring for my mum.
It took me about 635 Lira which is about 95 Euro.

I was like damn. They are so damn valuable. It maked sense to me, because it was changing its colors at differentt areas.

Now guess what...
I went onto the internet and checked reviews about that shop. They were mostly saying that these are not real, but lab created gems. I was deeply shocked.
I checked the "certificate" that I got from them. It matched. My gems are lab created and not mined as they told to us tourists ffs.

I am crying internally.
How could I be that dumb to believe that?

Guys, never buy anything they tell you. Check everything to its detail.

The "zultanite" is a real gem. They even have their own trademark, but we were sold a "zultanit (lbrt)".
They did not show the certificate before buying it.

My mum buyed me this :) Seriously , its the best.

mum: "you flunked out of uni (course: literature) because of that computer and now you want to spend the rest of your life in front of it?!"

Mum: can you look at my phone?
*bunch of random shit pops up all over the place*
Me: your phones got a bunch of viruses on it or something. You'll have to get it fixed
Her: can't you do it? You make apps. Can't you just make an app for me to fix my phone?
Me: I don't really make apps, besides that's kind of impossible.
Her: so what did you go to university for?
Me: -___-

I don’t get marketing directors. They basically get paid a ton of money to pay an agency to do their job.

I mean... my mum could pick up the phone to an agency and say “make me a campaign for this”.

What’s worse is when said marketing director comes over to the tech people and starts asking questions, and you KNOW he’s only asking them because someone at the agency he’s hired has asked him the same question.

And then sometimes I find myself feeling sorry for them. Imagine being a marketing person... imagine being a useless cunt and knowing everyone knows it..,

My mum - "Something to do with traffic lights"

Because I told her I was designing an Ethernet traffic generator device.

I really, really need an office. Today I've been in a meeting for 2 hours with my mum hoovering in the background and my sister playing the entire fucking soundtrack to Chicago. FUCKING KILL ME!!!

Every time I fucking talk all you can hear is "'n' all that jazz" in the fucking background.

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMOREEEEE D'X

So lets see if i can get this devrant stuff right.

So a couple of years ago i worked for this company, where i worked in datawarehousing and business intelligence. I was in my 3rd year of working as a software engineer and was full of ideas, motivation and just wanted to do cool stuff.

Anyway, after the first couple of months of working where i learned what they actually wanted to achieve, i got some ideas on how to improve the workflow. They were just simple things, like updating our IDE (we were working with a very old Visual Studio version), getting useful editors, using some more modern ideoms like unittests, continous integration, etc. Simple stuff really.

So in my endless naiveness i went to my supervisor and told him my ideas. He was not particularly interested in my ideas and cut me off somewhere in the middle and said that he would talk to his boss.

So a couple of weeks after that (nothing happened), i went to him again and asked about it.
M:" Hey Bossman, have you thought about my ideas?"
B:"Yes."
M:"And?"
B:"We won't do them."
M:"None of them?"
B:"No."

So at this point i was a bit bummed out, but surely he has a good reason right? So i asked why.

M:"Why?"
B:"Well, because we always have done it the way we do it now."

I think i had a bit of a blank stare at that point, because he looked at me funny. If we would do things like we always have done them, we would be still in the stone age you moron.

God i hate it when people say stuff like that.

I came to visit my mum for Christmas, and my days are all about changing ringtones and showing her how to change volume on her phone. The worst is that she doesn't even try, it's just easier to ask me. Fun times.

So last year i was competing in IT basics, school level went great so i went to state level. This is my first state competition ever and im really nervous, everyone is telling me things like "you've got the gift, don't worry" (by everyone i mean my mum) but i keep believing that everyone who went to the state level has a 'gift' for IT. So the competition is about to start and a guy next to me raises hand to ask a question and im like so nervous that he is going to ask something i dont understand or is too complicated for me. The guy fucking asks how to get past the login screen because he clicked on an admin account and it is requesting a password. The fucking guest account is right next to the admin account that he clicked on and i proceed to help him and i click on the guest account and he litteraly asks me "wow i didnt know that was possible". What the fuck. IT BASICS STATE LEVEL. DOSENT FUCKING KNOW HOW TO ENTER A GUEST ACCOUNT. Next on, the competition is over and we have to enter passwords to submit our online test so as i walk to exit the classroom i see a guy struggling and i ask him like dude you need to write a password and submit! Hes like umm yeah i know but umm you see... I dont know how to write a # (it was required as a password) .IT FUCKING BASICS STATE LEVEL.DOSENT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A '#'. Later on i got 8th place and the fucker who didnt know how to write # got 1st because he knew fucking exel questions that i didnt.

!dev && rant
Temperature causing temper!!!

Summer 2009...
Me: Dad, can me and sis go swim in the pool?
Dad: No son, you can only swim if it's 25°C or higher.
Which in practice meant that we could only swim a few days each summer. Average in Belgium used to be about 21°C.

Spring 2019, my younger siblings...
Little sis: Mom, can we go swim in the pool?
Mom: Lol sure, it's only April but it's already way hot enough.. and during summer it'll be too hot to do the work on setting up the pool anyway.

Winter 2029, in Antarctica...
Me, to my children: During my old days my children, we had this thing called snow!! And we lived in the wasteland that used to be the glorious Europe, back when it was still habitable.. you should've seen it, now it's a desert, but back then it was awesome!
My children: Mum!! He's acting senile again, and talking about things that don't exist!!!

Coming to the crux of the problem right now, fuck me.. I'm tired as fuck but can't sleep because already in the fucking spring, my house is too fucking hot to be able to sleep without sweating like a pig!!!
AaaaaAAAAA 😣

So a little story about finding your way. I worked at an IoT software firm, very well established. I had a hard time with the on boarding process due to some factors, and I must have lagged behind their mental schedule for my growth. It was clear nonetheless that I was a quality coder and had made some friends there.

It wasn’t enough for the ensuing corporate bullying. It went by and I took it. I became the yes man just so I don’t frustrate anyone enough to turn away my ask for help. This made things worse and before long, I a grown man went to visit my mum and all but cry at how small I felt, after all my hard work getting to the company.

I felt sick with failure but I knew I couldn’t go back. I emailed my resignation and dropped off my company laptop.

4 months later I am working at a medical startup with my own projects, that I have 100% control over. And the quality of my work and ethic is pleasing upper management in all the right ways. I’ve never been happier, and there are barely any perks on paper. No free lunches on Thursdays or discounts at the local high street. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life because I said NO to feeling or being treated any less than I worked and progressed to be.

Don’t let other people stop your potential for their own ego, or any other reason. 😊

Mum i think i broke my terminal...

I swear to god if I see another goddamn todo list tutorial im gonna fucking switch careers. JS fanboys with their blogs... jesus christ i thought npm was spoiled but god, try googling angular tutorials... Seriously, you pick a framework and write a useless shitty blog article about the most obvious implementation? Is that your thing now? Write a tutorial on how to make a mailchimp clone? too hard? I thought so. Your mum must be very proud of you crackhead

Warning: pretty sad thoughts. If you're having a blast of a day, please skip. It's for your own good.

That feeling when you finish watching a piece of art. Be it a film or anime or anything. You're confused why you feel good, but at the same time you're hurt. You smile but the pain is still there when you reflect on the feelings and the experiences you had and you realise that none of it will ever happen again. No art or any of the past will happen again exactly the same way how you felt and experienced.

You think of the best friend you once had. Think of the girl you held hands with and time stopped. The first time you embraced her and knew you loved her more than anything, even if she didn't know your feelings. Think of your first kiss. Your first serious relationship. The last time you saw your parents, your wife, your children, family.

Now look at the perspective of the future and the past you: blissfully ignoring the certain end to all experiences until they all abruptly end reminding you of this and it hurts. Damn it hurts.

I will never be able to see me best friend again, nor will I ever be able to hold hands with her either. First time I kissed is now long gone. It's almost like you wish you were aware of how valuable and important the experience was and to not just throw it away like the last time and the several times before that. But the sad part is, you don't know which experience will make you realise how much you missed it.

But even if you do realise by placing yourself in the place of your future self, and you cherish the experience, you blame yourself because you could have either avoided it's end or did something better.

Like your break up: could it be fixed? Was it worth the little time you have on this plante?
Like your friends argument you had: could you have done better? Could you have stopped it?
Like your parent's death: could you have been a better son to your now overworked dying mum? Could you see how hard they tried even though you thought they were total dicks?

Now you realise that literally anything you do, you will have a problem with somewhere down the line. You're destined to be sad shattered and broken by every day that is tragedy.

But it's similar to art. After all, your life is a piece of art about how you died. Which is why you smile and enjoy the last second of the experience which you just had. That chest warming feeling will only last a little. You smile through pain, yet you realise its not the end.

Then again, its just my thoughts that i need to vent. Take it with a pinch of salt.

my mum just sent me a picture of her and my long time no see cousin from US over WhatsApp. Short time after that, Facebook sent me a friend proposal of a girl from US I don't know - obviously it was my cousins girlfriend because she had a profile picture with him. My cousin doesn't have Facebook.

WTF?!

so what Facebook did must have been some face analysis of the picture my mum sent me over WhatsApp and compared my cousins face with profile pictures from friends of my friends to send me the proposal I got.

this is so fucking scary! I immediately thought of @linuxxx security blog and how my usage of such software affects the privacy of others besides me being transparent as fuck.

Definitely have to rethink my software choices and app/online behaviour!

That moment when...

You’re supposed to be doing work.
You have a deadline.
It’s your sister’s baby shower and you promised to help.
Sis comes over every day to hang with family.

I’ve still not managed to get any work done today, video games and hanging and baking have had my time 🤣

I was up from 12-1 making jelly shots from scratch because my mum wanted blue ones and couldn’t find any blue jelly 😂

They’re bubblegum and for my first attempt I think they look pretty sick.

Will have to find out whether they set in the morning 🙈

windows :D

I'm a responsable grown up! *uses a can of glitter hairspray on hair* much adult. Such wow.
Now I'm leaving behind a trail of fabulous. No regrets.

Pfft and my mum keeps on asking when I'm going to have kids...

My mum just had to call me to change our home WiFi password, because she can't change it on her laptop.

She's pretty bad with technology, but she had to call me to do it, because no one else knew how to. Including my brother-in-law who designs IT systems for major banks and system admins working for the government.

She had to call me, from Hungary to do it. I live in Scotland.

I guided mum through regedit to renable windows defender using text messages

When your mum asks what you are doing and you say "studying Python" n she be like, go n study what will you do reading about snakes....

P.s. had to explain her about this language

Went to the mall with mom the other day,

Mum: so what do you want?

Me: (pointing to stress ball) that ball

Mum: stop embarrassing us, are you a kid?

Me: they are stress balls

Mum: take a pill or exercise if you stressed

My mind: I told you not to go the mall with your, fucking kid....

devrant a ni**a really need them stress balls

My mum told me to, "get the sheets of the line."

I did as she asked, but later that night she came back and said, "where are the pillow cases?"

So, a few months back my mother had some issues with her windows 10 box not being able to do proper backups to a backup partition. At the same time I was pulling insane hours at work and writing on a eBook on commission for a guy, besides having small kids with on and off flu and shit.

Needless to say, I didn't have time to look at the backup issues. Well, even though my mom is one of those dogs you can't teach new tricks, she has always been resourceful enough to get help with things.

This time she picked up the phone and called Microsoft Support, got some guys to remote in and take a look. They messed around a bit and said they were done.

She phoned me up later that day to tell me how proud she was of herself for doing that. Of course, she skipped telling me the important bit about she actually calling them, rather describing it as "Microsoft was just on my computer and fixed it".

You can imagine my immediate reaction, cold sweat running down my back, adrenalin rushing in as I dug through the details of what had happened.

A few days later she calls me up again and tells me the problem is back, and we agree that even though the MS dudes was not able to fix it at first, she should try again, as she had a ticket to reference.

The next attempt by MS actually fried her partitions, and apparently they had f-ed up trying to delete and recreate the backup partition.

That's not the worst of it though. Since they fried her disk, her computer crashed and naturally the remoting won't work. In our country, they have no people on the ground to do hands on help, and they didn't have a partner near by. Her not having a win 10 usb stick, nor a spare computer to make one, she was in a surreal predicament.

She was also quite pissed, and pissed off mums are not to be messed with. She managed to get Microsoft to agree to cover the costs of a non-partner to visit her to fix the problems, and using her as the middle man, they made an agreement with the 3rd-party tech support company.

After the box was fixed though, some more issues arose... regarding billing. The 3rd-party tech support was unable to get in contact with the person at MS that was going to sign off on the bill, and again using my mom as the middle man, it was agreed that my mom, as the customer, was to be reimbursed for the bill to the 3rd-party.

Guess what... 3 months went by, with weekly follow-ups and nagging from my mom, and still no money...

At this time, I had time to help her, and after some digging and borderline stalking, we managed to get the phone numbers of some of the higher ups in my country, and she started calling them directly.

After talking to a couple who refused to help, she reached the Vice President of the country branch, and was finally able to talk to someone who gave a shit.

Still took over a month more to actually get the money, but now she had someone who actually gave her statuses, receipts and ETAs.

FUCK!

No mum, it's a MAN cave.

-Every single visit.

I grew up as internet became a thing, so I had a very early exposure to computers. There's actually a video of me crawling onto an old computer which still had a 5.25" floppy drive. By the age of 4 I actually started using it properly, my mum said I once talked about pressing enter in my sleep 😂 I'm glad I was born in
a time (94) to witness technology evolve at such a crazy scale. Kids these days will never know what kind of privilege it was to have a 128MB pendrive 😛

My parents think I'm teaching computers to think strategic to rule the world some day. They are a bit scared. They love me though. But they are scared.

Also my mum once told me that I should take care not to end in hell. She was serious about it.

It's funny when you study in a diploma course that clearly states having a computer as a prerequisite but your mum nags you everyday for studying on the comp top much instead of doing exercises on paper. Well I didn't know I could check syntax for c++ on paper.

!rant

Human memory is fascinating. It’s interesting to think about the events that helped shape you into what you are. And how sometimes those events are exchanges with people who probably never gave the moment a second thought, but fundamentally changed how you relate to others.

For example: In ninth grade, I became friends with a group of seniors. Spent every lunch period together, auditioned and landed a part in a play to hang out with them. We never hung out over the weekends, but my dad had died two years before and I didn’t hang with anyone on weekends.

Then at the end of the school year, I’d actually got my mum to buy me a school yearbook and was super excited to have my friends sign it. But when I asked them to, one of them furrowed their brow and said, “Amy, we’re not really friends...”

And I haven’t trusted friendships since.

Anyway, for anyone who needs to read this right now:

My First !Experience : Disappointment with a computer

My mum kept tons of floppies but we didnt have a computer at home. Went to my friends house, who had one, and had Encarta 95 (its like a fun wikipedia for kids). When I mentioned I had floppies, he asked for one, since he didnt have one. We copied Encarta to that floppy hoping we would cheat in the next computer science test. We even tested it.

After we were certain that all works (you should know we were surprised that it could fit in one floppy), we got to school, put the disk in and voila

we had copied a shortcut :)

"Stop spending so much time on the computer, there so much more to life than just a screen." ok mum.

My Mum called me at 3am and woke me up last night so this morning I built a bot to message her at 3am. See how she likes it.

My daily routine:
*wakes up*
*goes to class*
*procrastinates about project deadlines*
*cries to mum when stress levels are skyrocketing*
*legit does nothing to rectify life and then cribs about everything*
*cries to sleep*

Also, mum’s tired of me wailing.

Back in august a fren approached me regarding joining an internship. Fee:70$.
Fkin prostitution I said and left.

Today I got a confirmation letter for an internship that I earned through months of sweat and blood.
Witness my rise, peasants

2 months into my first dev job, everything looks like a Jira ticket now.
Mum: wash the dishes
Me: create a ticket for that... i estimate the story points to be 2

My mum: "When I found you taking the brand new computer apart when you were 12, then it still working when you put it back together, I knew you'd end up working with computers".

Nobody was surprised when I got my first job as a developer.

My mum wants to learn how to use a computer. She wants to help my dad in his business in case something needs to be done and neither me nor my dad are (currently) available.
Will be .... a great challenge, since she didn't use a desktop computer almost ever, but i'm nevertheless proud of her and will try my best to help her😍😊😎

Context: Madre recently got a new laptop to replace her old HP, but since she doesn't know much about computers, I picked it out for her. I went a little overboard on the specs because I new it was a "family laptop" and I would end up using it more than she would.

Mum: *yelps after typing on computer*
Me: "What's wrong"
Mum: "This computer is too fast!"
Me: 😐
Me: ... "What?"
Mum: "It loads things too fast"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Mum: "When I click on the apps they open almost immediately"
Me: "That's a good thing"
Mum: "No it's not, it startled me!"
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: ...
*goes back to reading book*

Today, Google says it will now require new Android developers with personal accounts to test their app with a minimum of 20 people for at least 2 weeks prior to publication. I have my mum, my dad and my two brothers but Google wants at least 20 testers. Yo!

Mum and dad and any other non techy people

Keep asking.....
1. what i am doing
2. If i can earn money with the product i am making.....

When I was 6yo I was playing next to my dad with his old PC on a good old CRT a game called “Sperms” where you catch sperm with condoms and every time you do it made a really loud “YIPPIE” sound. I was playing this game for 4 years.

Somewhere around when I was 10 my dad told me we should build a PC and I was asking “Why does everyone has to make their own PC?”, I didn’t yet know what an cheap ass my dad is, so we did. Had a lot of fun and was very scared of the PSU, like really scared.

It blew up a few months later because I switched the toggle on the back from 220v to 110v, and got even more scared of PSU’s until I started an electricians apprentice.

Anyways, one day my dad and I where at a friends place and I played Tux Racer on his super loud Maschine that would crash if you kept the side door of the table closed, it ran some kind of Linux and I was fascinated how “simple and clean” it looks. I got a mini-cd to install it at home and immediately was hooked because the windows installation was such a pain in the arse those years. I did that all by myself just because I also wanted to play Tux Racer at home.

Anyways, somewhere right before GTA IV came out I started with VB.Net and ever since I was totally hooked and spend more time doing that than actually going to school.

My dad didn’t care and just let me do this, my mum just made sure I would have been up at least after the first lession, I don’t miss the bus and that I went to bed in a timely manner, which never happened because the PC was in my room and my mum slept downstairs and couldn’t notice that I was doing script kiddie things after an hour or so of “sleeping”.

So yeah, they didn’t care and were happy I didn’t annoy them.

Actually I didn’t wanted to become a developer because I always wanted to have it be a hobby or something and I liked woodwork more, but then people more qualified than me were more stupid than this script kiddie that still just wanted to play Tux Racer. That’s it.

Coffee. Lots ans lots of Coffee.

When I was a child I was allowed to use my dad's PC (my parents are divorced) (~1995-6, 3-4 yrs) - back then I played blockout and space Invaders on that windows 2.0 machine. My mum later got a win 3.1 box and I often played around in paint - so did I on my dad's new windows 95 pc. Back then I wasn't able to read (which usually isn't uncommon for a 4-5 yr old) but I was so fed up with those constant "do you want to save this thing dialogs" that I started to learn reading with the help of my parents. (Thanks to that I was able to play Monkey Island 2 :D )

Fast forward to the first years of school: we had two PC's in the classroom and I somehow fixed basic errors so my teacher signed.l me up for the computer course in the second year - usually only students in the third and fourth year may attend this course. I was so thrilled and that was the time where I learned basic DOS stuff and how to build a PC. Again fast forward some years to the 6th year - again another teacher saw my interest in it and asked me if I'd be interested in the basic programming course where I then learned basics in HTML, CSS and JS but that was not enough for me and so I did some research and learned php. In high school, my major was science and IT and in the last year, my IT teachers sat in the IT class and I held the courses as my knowledge was greater than theirs. And yep, that's pretty much how I started coding

The wordpress site I told my friend her friends I would take a look at made me feel a bit like a real hacker.

Without knowing them I guessed their username and password for the admin panel in 15 tries. Today they send me the password and username via email.
I just told them I already had access and that they should change the password.

TL;DR first off you are lazy, it isnt such a long text, but the real tldr is "Me Hackerboy"

it's been a while since my last rant and coming back after so long made me realize how much I missed here.

at some point i realized that the career I wanted and my current situation wouldn't match, I decided to go in real hard, I moved into the dreaded backend development (you can guess, node and mongodb),

I isolated myself from almost everyone and everything, cleared out my mobile games, social media and for almost two months I wanted something stable(might not be job ready but it had to be reasonable). I have come to love backend development so much, the joy of not having anything to do with css.

dad fought me, mum cried, probably thought I was slipping into some deep end, quitting school in my second year of studying food science(still dont know how I accepted that course lol) to start afresh didn't help matters. really hard decisions, made money on some little freelancing gigs, wasnt constant, I needed something stable and that was a job and a degree to get me one.

nothing special, just some regular hustler hoping his passion will pay him, I have always loved what i do but I need something to keep me going.

Motherfucker, do you even review your own code, never mind getting anyone else to do it?

"Hi" randomly added on a new line in the middle of a switch block, a syntax error, as the only change in a file?

Breaking two methods by misunderstanding which database object a variable identifies- but making no other change to those functions? And not adding permissions checks to the new API methods you added in that file?

Overwriting the email template that goes out to users who were added straight to the CRM, by reusing the same file for a template for users that have been invited to an event?

Adding your new fields to the old CRM sync code, again leaving me to figure it out, thereby leaving users' changes likely to be overwritten every morning?

And pushing this to master, supposedly tested, without a heads-up?

How often does your mum need to buy you a new box of crayons? Because these ones are chewed to pieces.

Suck my balls. Or rather don't, you probably don't know you're not meant to use your teeth.

My first experience was in 1998. My grandfather had a computers and even tho he was hesitant to let me use them my mom convinced him saying that I may eventually turn into an engineer like him. I used them mostly for paint and a couple of space shooter games he later got for me. It was great. They always had computers, they even had a c64 at one point and i remember playing with that one as well.
My first computer tho, it was in 2010 while I was in the Army. Still have that lil hp in my office although it does not work anymore.
Nothing speciall really. I've had computers all my life and a mother that was passionate about them. I owe everything I am to my mom. I think that it is because of her that I became a computer scientist.

A while ago, i decided to finally learn a bit about the web stack (especially django) and create my first web page. The image shows what it currently looks like.

I am actually very happy with the result. It will be my personal little Home automation software, with progressive apps etc. It runs on the pi plattform and can currently switch an IO to a Relais, which in turn switches on a light.

The applications of this are really endless, which is quite cool and leads me to do more stuff at my home with it. So dear devRant: Does anybody know of some nice hackable light bulbs/spots for my home that i can use? Or other cool hackable hardware that could be applied?

Ever had to work with a Web backend, which is written in C++, has 30000 lines of code and is contains php, JQUERY, HTML as well as a desktop UI? I have to do that right now. Now, I am not the most experienced dev with Web stuff but this is fucking ridiculous.

When you hear your mum and dad talking about traveling abroad and when i sneak to them, they say "we won't go, so go and study, my honey."

*cries*

and another case of my parents discovering new technologies i alteady told them about:
my mum hast just found out about hyperloop, after watching on tv, and is like "wow omg that's incredible 😯😶🤔"
me thinking "well good you (finally) know about it, welcome to the future😅"
if i told them, they would be like "oh ok interesting" and then forget about it the next second😑😪

So due to some necessary repairs on my Nokia 6.1 i had to use an iPhone for the last 2 weeks (was the device they gave me for the duration of the repair). And let me say something in advance: I own a Macbook Pro, i own an iPad Pro, both devices are excellent for what i use them for. I enjoy OS X, i enjoy iOS on the tablet. But oh boy is the iPhone a shitshow of a magnitude i have never seen.

First off: The notifications. They feel like Android 4 or something. No customization, no grouping, not context. Also the swipe down gesture simply blocks whatever i am doing.

Multitasking: What a shitshow. There is no continuity, apps reload on a whim, no switching between apps (except that strange thing where the app shows up on the left upper screen, but i can't go back from there?)

Settings: WHY ARE APPS SETTINGS IN THE GLOBAL SETTINGS!! And not even all settings are. They are all over the place. And the settings are so convoluted and bloated, i can't find half of the things i am looking for.

Clock & Alarm: Goddamn that design choice with the edit button infuriates me to no end. Why can't i click an alarm and simply edit it? Also: Why do i have to enter the clock app to even see which alarm is going off next?

The Appdrawer: WHY CAN'T I SORT MY APPS BY NAME?? I have to conciously remember where i put things. Apps i use rarely, apps i use often.

God, iOS on the phone is so fucking terrible.

Dell et al should start selling pre-stickered laptops so execs could buy that "dev cred" look.

There's probably a science to producing a look that doesn't make you look like someone's mum at a cool party.

What sticker placement approach do people use?

-Mum: 'you start a new side project like every two weeks, but you almost never finish one'

-Me: 'i am finishing them, but other than these projects, i have to earn a living to be able to pay my dorm etc. and i have to study besides that ..'

Your mum must be a null hypothesis, cause she's a H₀ ;)

Javascript is trash.
PHP is trash.
Java is trash.
Go is trash.
Scala is trash.
Your mum is trash.
Everything is trash.

DevRant summarised in one post.

!rant
I am continuously transforming from being terrified to being sad to being tensed at the moment.Don't know what depression is , but i guess this is not a right phase .
Am just an average guy trying to get my confidences up as a good person/student/professional/whatever. last to last semester when I joined college for a cse degree, i had entered with the brightest face and the biggest smile because of just one thought: "this is where i belong, this is what i want" . i always got excited when i saw little things jumping around in my mobile , calculations being performed instantly, and the day i got my laptop, i knew i want to know every thing of how virtuality works.
I never cared about social life tho, i was a universally lonely introvert single child. Had 2-3 friends in school, who i don't care about much,a lost crush , a great group of home buddies and some friends here and there.
So when i started college i went there with multiple goals: making my career there, finding gud buddies, love again and many more..
But recently, everything is changing: realised that college is a piece of shit, people are always selfish and exploiting, a race is always going on where people are secretly running and you gotta learn by yourself.
So here is the current me: college attendance 37%, not went to gym past 1 week, human interaction last 2 days :2(mum nd dad), whatsapp last message: 4 days ago,sleep timings 10am to 6pm(daytimes lol), currently working on: this project that I took as "my last project that on completing means i know Android,and could code every fucked up app in the market)", which isn't yet completed bcz every-time i learn something in it, i realise their is one more part of the course am following , but i should know because this is useful.
And that makes me more sad :/

My mum was programming at high school. It was COBOL, but she never used it again. So thats how she lost every sense for programming. Even like 2 months earlier, she thought I am just playing games and watching videos, but then we finally had a talk and she understands now. I am happy.

story of a release
v2.1.0 major changes went live : new features, bug fixes, optimisations. also included releases for 2 associated libraries
release process tasks:
- do code
- update test cases
- test sample app
- test on another sample app
- get code reviewed and approved by senior ( who takes his own sweet time to review and never approves on first try)
- get code reviewed again
- merge to develop after 20 mins( coz CICD pipeline won't finish and allow merging before that)
- merge to master after 20 mins( coz CICD again)
- realise that you forgot to update dates in markdown files as you thought the release will be on 10th sept and release is happennig on 12th sept coz of sweet senior's code fucking/reviewing time
- again raise a branch to develop
- again get it a review approval by sr (who hopefully gives a merge approval in less time now)
- again get it merged to develop after waiting for 20 mins
- again get it merged to master after waiting for 20 mins
- create a clean build aar file
- publish to sonatype staging
- publish to sonatype release
- wait for 30 mins to show while having your brain fucked with tension
- create a release doc with all the changes
- update the documentation on a wyswig based crappy docs website
- send a message to slack channels
- done

===========

why am i telling you this? coz i just found a bug in a code that i shipped in that release which still got in after all the above shitty processes. its a change of a 3 lines of code, but i will need to do all the steps again. even though i am going through the same shitty steps for another library version upgrade that depends on this library 😭😭

AND I AM THE ONE WHO CAUGHT IT. it went unnoticed because both of those shitty samples did not tested this case. now i can keep mum about it and release another buggy build that depends on it and let the chaos do its work, or i can get the blame and ship a rectification asap. i won't get any reward or good impression for the 2nd, and a time bomb like situation will get created if i go with 1st :/

FML :/

My family had a very good understanding of what I'm doing.

My dad is working at a big software company as project manager (he himself did code years ago, but it's actually a physicist).

My mum is a language teacher, but has taught herself web design while she wasn't working in her job (taking care of us kids) and was working as self employed web designer from home for some years.

My youngest brother is studying business informatics.

My other brother is not studying anything technical, but very open minded towards these topics and has good knowledge about it.

My grandparents believe what I told them: "I (read as: software developers) create everything that happens in your computer after you've turned it on."

My mum said that i should get some fresh air outside...

Now I'm a true dev... Feels lonely
But i can write programs which is nice

So my mum is currently in the final stages of PhD in physiology and I warned her about WannaCry (she uses windows 10 laptop)
So now its my fucking fault and I have to copy all her 900GB files to my poor 1TB Linux laptop and she wouldn't even bother copying them to the family desktop (2TB) which no one uses and has no Internet access whatsoever. Like WTF!?!?!?!??!

Asking my mum to answer the child safety questions to Leisure Suit Larry.
"Here you go. Oh that looks fun.."
"Can you go now?"
-- I was 6.

I'm losing this match that I'm playing online.

I know what to do.

Type with CAPS LOCK on, and furiously type out curse words and talk smack about how I boned everybody's mum last night.

Dear god, tried to explain to my mum how to use a computer. Wait for spring creators update...😓
Everything went ... decent: learn opening different windows, closing them again, explaining functionality, which areas/buttons/etc.. are interactive ... and then comes the browser with its tabs😓
the only program which can open multiple "instances" of itself ... in itself. How to explain that? (i know that's probably not correct but that's the only way i can explain it) Needless to say she hasn't figured out how to use broswer tabs and what they are there for.
An now "Sets" come to windows. Oh boy how to teach that...?😥
... I'll probably just never show her just to keep safe😅

"Are you sure this is not a scam" mum when I wanted to but my first lot of web hosting from one.com

Writing a horror screenplay. It starts off with a ringing phone. The person answers, and it's their mum saying "I have a computer question."

life becomes sulking when you have no support.

1. bought a new car. finally everything went good and i was able to get out of the infinite loop of anxiety : "where would i park?" "fights with neighbour" , "how to become confident after learning to drive in driving schools?" , efc

2. on delivery day, a friend helped park the new car near home. the plan was that from next day , we will start taking classes on self car with a car trainer

3. this morning, i took a class with car trainer alongside my mom as she wanna learn too. she used to drive somewhat shakily 10 years ago.
She got scared seeing me to drive. i was driving fine as the trainer hmmself didn't scolded me anything. i was driving at 30kmph on empty roads, while she is trained to drive at 10-15kmph. whe she drove, her driving was full of jerks and sudden break/clutch release, but i remained mum

4. later on, one of my friend also rejected going with me for driving. and the car trainer is also citing some time issues for next few days. i am now stuck with:

- a brand new car wrapped under sheets with no future for getting out

- a driving license in my wallet that will keep on taking dust as i would rarely be allowed to ever take my car out for a 60km drive to office.

-some overly anxious parents trying to take out my morale

- a sad me. when will the life give me a chance to fuckin grow up?

i have cracked the IT for fuck's sake. i started from peanuts salary, and worked my way to a great package, i am a person who understands how to live. why the fuck can't i learn this skill

My mum signed me up for a robotics workshop with Lego mindstorms... i kept going to these workshops, doing some of them multiple times. At some point we went from graphical programming to some other kids language, than we made a robocup junior team from the kids who were like me and kept on showing up at these workshops and used arduino and C. Had a break for a year or so from coding so I could finish school, then I went studying computer science at Uni. And the rest is history.

Making a exam on windows make me feel like my mum on a computer... #appleforlife

This is genuinely what happened the first time my mum asked what I specifically do on the computer..

Told her its web development, "but not like what you see, what produces what you see" (always seems to help explain). Anyway, a few minutes in she says "it's amazing isn't it, like how electricity works and stuff"

One of my uncle is becoming a classic nightmare.

He was kind of getting offended that I never payed much attention to his request of making a website for his impromptu travel agent sidejob.

He claims he gets approached by some people for tour packages. His revenue model is simply taking the payment from them with his commission and passing over responsibilities and everything else to some other travel agent. I don't know how he has the connections to make it happen or build it as a sustainable business but that's none of my business.

Anyway, what irritates me most is that he doesn't seem willing to invest in building the site. I strongly suspect he expects me to build it free ( free as in I cover expense for server and domain ) for him. He didn't have a solid plan on what features he is looking for in the website or even come up with a proper name for the site. He basically told me to buy whatever I think is good.

When I asked him to pay some money for buying the server space, he has gone mum about it.

My best guess is that he is probably looking on internet to do it himself and outsmart me.

Well, good for me.

My parents actually know pretty well what I do, my mum used to take a course on web-development.
But my grandparents ... they think I somehow 'talk' to the computer and make it do what I want it to ... may also be important to note that neither of them ever touched nor used a PC.

tl;dr: My grandparents think I am some kind of PC whisperer forcing PCs to do my bidding.

Never in my life have i seen such a convoluted and complicated framework as Celery. Celery sucks donkey ass. That is all.

Since day 0, I have been fond of computers. One of my first plush was called "DataDog" and looked like a CRT screen with dog ears around. According to my mum I was "addicted" to it.

At year 2, my dad was arranging some music on some software while I was watching him on his lap. Quick jump to the present: nowadays and since 10 years I run my own home studio with three guitars, two keyboards, one bass, three monitors, a microphone, an amp and a cabinet... coincidence? I think not!

Fast forward 5 years later (so I'm 6-7 years old), and I was playing with the legendary pinball game on Win95, as well as Flight Simulator. Then I was hogging mum's laptop to play settlers II (<3 that game), I eventually got my computer, and got into Quake III Arena being aged 10 (and had to tell my mum that game was safe for my age haha - I eventually removed the blood effects).

The Quake 3 Arena chapter is interesting: it got me into router configuration as I wanted to open a port through the router to host my own dedicated games with friends, it got me into DNS configuration (I was running a no-DNS client that allowed friends to join me through a DNS while having a dynamic IP) and eventually... to modifying .cfg files to tune my server as I wanted it. No programming here but a nice intro into :)

Then I hated the fact everybody would point their finger at me and say "geek" - I was only 13, fragile, sensitive, and I wanted everything but a bad image on me.

Meanwhile I continued on getting interested in hardware and configure my own computers, and investing myself into music production.

Then, university. "What do you want to study?" I thought of everything but IT, fleeing the image of a "geek". Turns out it was a waste of time, and at 21 yo I got into web development (well, just html and css), then learned a bit of PHP, finally got a specialized 2-year training and now here I am!

I was bound to be in IT either way since day 0, and funny fact, I've used every windows edition since Win95.

(Note: I got a bit carried away while writing this, so the end result is a lot longer than I expected. Apologies for the long post!)

The beginning of my programming journey started with a book.

This was back in 7th grade. I had some basic exposure to BASIC (pun maybe intended?) from our school curriculum, but it was nothing too interesting as our teachers never really treated it as anything important. They would stress a lot on those Microsoft Office chapters (yes, we actually studied Microsoft Office as part of our computer science course at school) and mostly ignore the programming chapters because I dare say many of them struggled with it themselves. So although I had been exposed to *some* programming, it was mostly memorizing the syntax without actually understanding what was going on.

Then one day there was this book fair thing going on at this local Carrefour (for those of you who've no idea, it's a pretty famous hypermarket chain) in this mall, and for some reason my mother and I were in that mall on that day. Now the interesting thing is that this usually never happens -- I usually visit malls with my dad or my friends, this is the only instance I remember where I had actually visited one with just my mom. This turned out to be fortuitous. My father is the kind of person who's generally not amenable to any kind of extraneous shopping requests. My mother, on the other hand, was and remains pliable.

So I basically saw this book -- Sams' Teach Yourself JavaScript in 24 Hours -- being sold at half price. I vaguely remembered having read somewhere that JavaScript is a good introductory programming language (and it helped that this was the time when I was getting into a Google-craze -- I basically saw some photos of Google Zurich and went all HOLY SHIT THAT'S WHERE I NEED TO WORK WHEN I GROW UP (for those of you who haven't seen it, I recommend googling it. That office is the bomb) -- and I'd also read that you need programming skills to join Google). So I begged and begged my mum to buy that book, and thankfully she did.

Back home I returned with my new prize under my arm. Dad took one look at it and scoffed that I'll never actually use it. Pretty much entirely out of spite (to prove him wrong), I attacked the book with a zeal. I still remember how I felt when I wrote my very first JavaScript program (printing the current system date in an h1 tag) and marveling at the output. I guess that was when something struck -- the realization that this was probably what I wanted to do in life.

Fast forward to today, and I've never looked back and wondered what it would be like to have done something else.

PS: for all you beginners out there, JavaScript is a horrible language. Please start with something like Python. Also there are better resources than Sams' Teach Yourself JavaScript in 24 Hours available, that I just didn't know of back then. I'd recommend Eloquent JavaScript any day.

so my mum got a new phone yesterday (huawei p smart)...
boy will that be an adventure showing her what is possible now (coming from moto g3😅)🙄
but hey i'm a patient guy when it comes to that😏

1. When someone Buzzes you on Jabber and wants you to join TS

2. Mum says it's dinner.

3. My little brother.

me: Mum, Dad I want to a developer like [my older brother's name]

mum: I don't know what you guys do anyway. just make sure to be the best at it.
dad: Good luck, don't forget to start your own company soon enough.

ughh here i am with an opportunity for a job (in london) and got given 3 programming tasks and my mum is surely praying so i wont get it ,i hear screamingin my head 'Nooooo!' when trying to even think about this third task , ive already done 2 ,

i really need to stop telling her about these london jobs she's witching them away , but what can ya do when i applied to more jobs here and some in manc yet i get through in londan 🤷🏼‍♀️

As odd as it may be, but when I find an old 5000 line kshell script on an old build server that has its own built in menu happiness fills me.

I'm not really a developer... but my Mum and Dad did both say "You are managing servers and coding? You are a geographer? Not a computer Scientist?" x

One day I had to work from my parent's home as I went to visit them on a week day. I was working on the living room. One moment my mum comes to me and says: "They are paying you all that money for doing THIS all day long? I wouldn't give you $20/month for that." We both laugh. 😂😂

Finally release the next version of my own asocial (*) medium, wegurus, which will feature SEO friendly urls, responsive layout, and a lot of minor and major fixes under the bonnett.

(* Asocial because it's basically just me and my mum using it atm ;))

Mum: you can't figure out how to close the latch on that window, what sort an engineer are you?!
Me:😒

Goodbye Ampps, hello Valet!!

Just got a Macbook Pro recently for personal web dev stuff. Previously, I usually use Ampps (like MAMP) for my local development.

But I want to move away from that as I wanted to go through the whole process of setting up my own local dev env.

After 3 days of trial and errors and many deadends, finally managed to get an existing Craft project running on Valet. The most tedious part was figuring out how connect Sequel Pro to local MySQL.

Through this whole process I've learned how to use Homebrew, setup MySQL with Sequel Pro, use Valet and most importantly, learning how to troubleshoot these problems...

Exclaimed a big YES! And mum came rushing into my room thinking I was mad... whateva...

Next step, figure out Docker.

#feellikeimoncloudnine

You know what really grinds my gears? Products that have no right of linking your data to an online platform.

Case and point: Password Managers. Nearly all of them work only with an account on a given service, have the passwords stored on their servers and so on and so forth. There is 0 transparency and for that matter 0 security. I found my choice, though it infuriates me terribly.

Another thing are budget managers. The switch for YNAB from local to on servers really annoys me. They should have no business in storing my very private data on their server. I don't understand people using it either.

So I am usually more of a classical backend/ app developer guy. I like my Local compilers/interpeters whatever. Recently though i kinda started thinking about how Web Apps work, and how to actually make one, which lead me to the Realisation that i actually have no idea how any of it works. So I started a little private project using django, as I am quite good with python. But soon after starting i realized that that wouldnt be enough, i would need to learn the basics as well as a couple of languages.

So can the community recommend me some books and learning material on JavaScript, HTML and CSS as well on general Web development ? While we are at that matter, can someone give me a rundown on what the differences between Javascript, angular, jquery etc are?

K&R style Brackets are so goddamn shitty. I hate hate hate hate that style. It makes code so goddamn hard to read. And for what gain? You write "less" lines of code? So what? Who gives five fucks about that? Readability is key for coders.

Our first computer ran MSDOS. All I remember about it is playing "Wolf 3D" and this platform game I cannot recall the name of where you were in a land made of sweets. I could never remember the commands to start the games. Me and my Dad played Wolf and could never get past the guards with machine guns. My Mum used the PC for "word processing", I think she carried her work around on 5 inch floppy disks.

I saw some game maker software (Klik & Play for the nerds), in a super market budget section and pestered my mum to buy it for weeks, got it, after a year of playing about started to read and found out about for loops & functions..... My software didn't have these as it was just creating actions for game events, very limited... Realised my games (if you could call them that) could be so much better with more control and started to look into languages like BASIC, the rest is my history :)

Me: Google uses MUM to search things..
*My mum*: Even google uses their mum to find things. You are all hopeless.
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Me: 😓
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[MUM: Multi Modal Model]

My first memorable exposure to computers. When my mum came home with the hypebeast rocking a counterfeit version of windows 95. Watching it boot for the first time to the orchestra that was the phone line connecting us to the internet. Ahh it truly gives me a sense of nostalgia when I think about how far we’ve really come

XML? NO <SHITSML>

I have been coding my app ( pc ) using android studio for weeks and some reason the xml code isnt working >:( its very dumb whoever made xml can stick it up their blowhole its useless! its just data store that people can edit lmao all ya need is a text editor and a decompiler and i can basically turn a switch into a button :/ the xml has not been working for 2 weeks and mum says i develop useless apps / games and i need to study more

Maybe this is off topic, but currently I have a rant so intense that I just want to post this anywhere I can rant.

I am not sure how to cook But I am interested to become a chef. My dream is to be a chef. That's it. I have seen the cooking in a recent popular action RPG game, Cooking Mama 2. And I will get my hands dirty and syart spending hours to become a chef

Chef is cool. So even I don't know anything about cooking, I got the gut to get into my Mama's kitchen and look around for some ingredients.

Day one, I can instantly make the best food. I am a prodigy.
I made a Kale Salad. It tastes good. I can't resisit sharing my great food to my Mum and my friends
'hey, I am a genius chef !!"
But they laugh at me, 'Lol, you are a recipe kiddie.'

Omg, why are they so rude? they are jealous at me because they don't know how to cook? Lol

When you're doing someone a favor by looking at their PC and you diagnose what causes the issues and you try to explain them & then they tell you its not the problem cause they googled what it was.....

Count.. To.. Ten..

As a developer, my mum sees me doing everything! From plumbing to fixing the door knobs!

I try to write a comment about promise. Promise is like you call your mum. You hit a voice msg. Msg said she will call back. You don't know when. maybe tomorrow or next year. Ok?

My LG WineSmart just became a very stupid, uselesss piece of shit. Firstly, it decided to upgrade itself - in the middle of a phone call! So, the phone itself considered its crappy upgrade more important than my phone call that was abruptly interrupted by the upgrade! WTF!? LG, seriously? Secondly, ever since the upgrade, the so called "Priority Mode" is totally broken. It's supposed to buzz only on phone calls from favourites, i.e. the mum of children and only her, but now it lets all calls through, so any idiot can call and disturb at any time! This phone doesn't have a silent mode neither, so now it has to be switched off at all times, except when I really need to use it, actually making the phone almost completely useless. LG, what utter stupid crap have you created?! What's your thoughts behind this, if any?

i need some advice on how to deal with office culture. i am a covid graduate and this is my first wfo job. it is technically hybrid but quickly turning into full time office, and there are several examples of scenarios, where i am not only feeling just frustrated, but hurt and retaliation.

my whole team is in a different city except 4 of us : pm, sr ios dev, me(android dev) and a sr android dev. in our office, there are 50 more people , but i rarely need to contact anyone except my team from another city or these 3 folks. also, we 4 are new joinees like just joined in last 2 months.

so let's discuss the problems.

1. there have been very shitty decisions that are leading to loss of everyone just because a few are unlucky. here's an example. on may 1, international labor day, we 4 had a leave showing. but it was not showing for other people. maybe because ourbleave calender was aligned to other city or maybe coz we are new, idk. but someone told the boss of manager, and he mailed to us that there is no leave :/ wtf

2. another news: our is shifting from we work to another co-working space. it is being heard that office will be now 3/5 days instead of 2/5 . when we joined, it was showing 3/5 days in our hr portal, but hr assured that it is 2/5 days. and we would still go 2/5 days only. but like that holiday scenario, people are buzzing and talking, and they might end up getting our 2/5 culture tonget fucked too. this is very stupid, since i am wasting 4 hrs everyday travelling.

3. let's talk about the snakes in the 4 ppl group. the ios dev and manager are sweet looking girl snakes. ios girl is the meek snake and pm is the wicked snake. once i discussed with ios girl about how we need to rush every morning at 8 am to reach office as our standup is at 10. i told her that i would raise this matter in standup and when i did, she was just mum as fuck. didn't even voted a fucking yes when the boss said "ok let's have a vote on it" . i mean man what the fuck are your scared of? the boss won't kill you bitch for clocking 30 mins late

4. the other snake is pm. i am pretty sure she was one of the people for which that leave was not showing and she informed the boss's boss. day before that i told her jokingly that once i leave the office, I won't be opening my laptop and since today it was decided that tomorrow is the holiday, I am unreachable and therefore enjoying the vacay due to lack of latest info.
the bitch fucking whatsapped me to say that she got a call from boss that tomorrow's a working day. it would have been the perfect fucking leave.
I am pretty sure a lot of people are hating me for leaving so early too. i oeave at 5pm , as i have to be at gym by 7. also 1 minute past 5 and i would be travelling in a jam packed metro, so yeah, no thanks. but this bitch is definitely telling my boss about this.

5 finally the biggest snake is this *cough-cough* "sr" android guy. dude's code is so shittu and hacky, i can sense that he didn't tried to understand the class and just added a function at any place he felt fit. he also is a schemy bitch, as he has somehow convinced noss to let him wotk just 1/5 days in wfo.

but i didn't cared about him much until now. yesterday i sent a link regarding latest Android dev update in the official channel as a fun read, and his reply was "probably should have seen theeynote yesterday" bitch it wasn't even mentioned in that keynote! i just checked its summary after his message, but then it was too late to retaliate.

and now that i see, he always tries to be smug and cool. not that i care, roast me all you want in front of your crush, I won't mind, but if you're trying to show people that am not an able dev, then buckle up bitch, either you or me are counting last breaths.

When I was younger mum said, " U didn't throw tantrums, u threw exceptions." 😂

Kanye West grew up with a loving mother. The relationship between between him and his mum is so strong that I am jealous. Too sad some much didn’t grow up around so much love.

Just finished jeen-yuhs on Netflix.