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Woman couldn't reach the login page of her hosting account.
After 15 minutes of debugging she found out that her Internet wasn't turned on.
This shit is the fucking reason why I drink alcohol.19 -
I use Linux because I enjoy unexpectedly learning how to mount an encrypted disk after a software update deletes the boot directory... on a Thursday night while other people drink beer.14
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Was working and decided to go get a drink so I Took my headphones off.
Just in time to hear a colleague say: (in Dutch it sounds better) Beste Bob, krijg de tering.
English equivilant: dear bob, go fuck yourself.
Giggled hard 😆19 -
Girl: you don't...see sharp
Me: I'm... Not a Java developer
Girl: I never said you were
Me: but why make that joke?
Girl: what joke? You hit your head on a beam tripped over a chair and missed your drink. You clearly need glasses
Me: *gets glasses* oh your not a girl 😳7 -
Dear fellow devs, I would like to remind you to get up and drink a glass of water once in a while.
At least drink enough so that your pee is clear. Just trying to look out for you guys.13 -
I was in the airport VIP lounge in route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late.
Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor."
"Yes?"
"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, "and I'm waiting on a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say, 'Hi, Ray,'?"
"Sure."
I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat.
About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business.
A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.
"Hi, Ray," he said.
I replied, "Get lost Gates, I'm in a meeting."9 -
Recipe of cold coffee.
Step 1: Make Coffee
Step 2: Start Coding
Step 3: Forget you made Coffee
Step 4: Drink it Cold
Don't say thank you I understand!33 -
When you drink a little too much and wake up to find you wrote a program called baconTranslator that translates everything you type to 'I love bacon"...10
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My boss asked me if he could smoke one before starting the interview. So I went down with him and lighted one up as well. Then we started to talk as if we were friends since years after I told him I like to drink alcohol from time to time (he asked :D) . Afterwards he just asked me if I know Java and stuff and I was like "sure ez pz". We still have drinking competitions on every company event. Best boss ever3
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Can't get into details but today took probably like 10 years of my life in the form of stress. On top of that I'm currently the on call Linux engineer so I can't drink much 😥
God fucking damnit.
Just had to get that out.
Just needed to10 -
Since git, sometimes I drink and code until I pass out
Today I woke up with good working code that I don’t even remember writing5 -
When I drink and code at home I put "while drunk" at the end of a commit so I know which ones to look back over later. This system worked great for me until yesterday when I included that in a PR for a work repo.8
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I've always drunk very less water compared to others. So I decided to install this app that'll remind me to drink water every now and then. Since, healthy body, healthy mind.
Was going through comments when I found this.
Well, I mean he's right in a sense, you know.
13 -
I ranted about my coworker trying to shoulder surf me last week.
Yesterday, he bought a mini Monster energy drink fridge and put it under his desk.
Me: "Oh cool. I don't have to go all the way to the kitchen to raid a fridge now :-P"
Him: "I'm gonna put a lock on it."
His Boss: "You know he teaches a lockpicking class at the hackerspace, right?"
Me: *headphones back on"4 -
Conversations between 2 java programmers.
Me: How it's possible that your code works?
Frank: I don't know. I try 10 times, and each time, I get an error.
Then I take a break...
Eat a humburger, play ping pong, drink coffee.
Me: That's it?
Frank: Yes
Me: I need a break...3 -
Me yesterday. I dont have my laptop now...
When you are chewing mentos and because you are thirsty, you drink coke.
SPRINKLE ALL OVER MY DESK!4 -
What do you guys do when you get bored at work?
this is what I do:
1. Drink Water
2. Stare at the code
3. Go to Bathroom
4. repeat16 -
I turned fucking 18!!! Finally it's legal for me to drink beer!!
Gotta try coding while bring drunk😱 I wonder what it would be like.
34 -
I just almost shat myself.
I altered the wrong database table column...truncated data we are required to keep for government compliance.
Luckily I had exported that table earlier today and was able to recover it all. I'm in need of a very strong drink right about now.12 -
My boss is on my line and isn't on mute. I can hear him drink his coffee. I'm much too annoyed for this shit right now.16
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I'm a bad influence.
It's been a tradition for me to keep a bottle of 'desk whiskey' buried in a drawer at work. A couple weeks ago, I started inviting cube mates over for a drink on Fridays as five pm rolled around.
Soon one of them brought in a bottle of scotch. Then another.
Started observing the afternoon drink on days other than Friday, more folks got involved...
Now the CTO talks about "Whiskey O' Clock" daily.
🍺5 -
Booking a hotel on booking.com
**only 3 rooms avaliable at this discounted price BOOK NOW**
**12 rooms booked just in the last 24 hours BOOK NOW**
*** HTML AND CSS FLASHING WEBSITE PANIC**
I call the hotel directly "sorry sir, we're closed for the season and currently renovating, will not be open till June"
I need a drink.4 -
We aren't allowed to boil water BOIL WATER
"We have to get Climate Neutral until we decided for a plan the kitchen is closed"
FUCK YOU I JUST WANT TO ENJOY MY COFFEE WHICH I CAN'T DRINK IN MY OFFICE ANYMORE BECAUSE OF SAME BULLSHIT
I get it we have to become climate neutral but holy fuck this can't be part of the solution to not use the kitchen anymore....45 -
Is it normal my boss want me to pay for the coffee I drink at work? 🤔
He asks me €1 for 2 coffee capsules for his coffee machine, while each costs only 22 cents… fucking bastard.
And it doesn't even taste good…24 -
Today I've been mocked by a fucking coffee machine.
So I was at a small train station, everything was already closed except for a small coffee machine
Dumb I, for whatever fucking reason, decided it'd be a great idea to get a highly overpriced cup there.
Now, the fucker made me the drink but instead of giving change, it started "shooting" coins in my direction (there was no flap on change box)
As I'm picking up my change, this abomination of a machine performs a cleanup, spitting some shit into my drink
I couldnt drink it obviously .. threw the overprices drink away, bought another one... Got shot with coins again... Whata pain... Just to figure out... There's no more cups 😭😭
It made the drink into the tray...
AaaAaAAAaaaaAAA
Fml4 -
I drink so much coffee. I sweat coffee. I pee coffee. I probably emit coffee waves into the air and get other people caffeinated. Here's to all of my fellow coffee-emitting programmers!
6 -
I code, drink, and from Java (yes it's an actual place). Except my life doesn't run on JVM. Or does it?5
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I am programmer for over 1 year and still don't drink coffee and other alcoholic drinks to be energetic😅36
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Walk into work.
Sit at desk.
Open Outlook.
*Sees 3 meeting invites for today*
...This is why I drink...4 -
I drink hoping that one day I’ll invent something when I’m drunk bcz drunk me is smarter than sober me.
4 -
My Father's day gift from my wife. 😁
Should make my application development a little more badass as I drink from it.
\m/
2 -
Was developing WordPress plugin. On the last step, i need to check if the remove DB table functionality when user uninstall the plugin is work. uninstalling plugin, check phpMyAdmin, and yes the table is gone. Also the plugin, which i dont have any backup. I need to drink....7
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So how is your Friday?
Well let me tell ya, fixed a production issue and I'm totally exhausted and to top it off my girlfriend broke up with me.
I need a fucking drink!5 -
Alright, so the "big e-commerce" site have ranted about a few times decided to move their site to google, because the developers blame our server to be the issue.
Well, I wish I had a couple of beer to drink while I am enjoying the downtime, servercrashes, and timeout on the site now. I hope the devs eat their own shit, because they are. -
THE NEXT FUCKIN TIME I SEE SOMEONE SAY "hay, how do loop python PLZ HELP" instead of asking a goddamn search engine IM GONNA FIND YOU AND SLIP YOUR FUCKIN THROAT WHILE I KICK YOU ON YOUR FUCKIN RIBS WITH ALL MY POWER AND SLOWLY DRINK MY COFFEE AFTER THAT.4
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I made it to 700 ++'s
I can finally have the energy drink AND the coffee on my desk.
Finally I can live up to my name.17 -
My coffee to water ratio in a cup is starting to be 1/2. I'm worried in the future I will be eating coffee not drink it anymore 😂4
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I gotta say... this shit is actually really strong especially when you grind it to espresso “dust”.... and put it in a Moka Pot.... don’t drink more than 2 coffee cups full .... it’s crazy
8 -
I have noticed on here, there is a direct correlation between the number of swear words in a post and that posts ++ count. As a programmer who doesn't swear (I know, "just give it a few years" or "YOUR NOT A REAL PROGRAMMER!!" [side note, I also don't drink coffee]), I guess my ++ counter will only ever be allocated 1 byte...10
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PM: Your code bombs! It’s supposed to put a link to the schedule here!
2 minutes earlier:
PM: *runs code with malformed data and two cancelled schedules*2 -
I don't really drink alcohol, but every time I look at my (old) code, it looks like I was drunk when writing it.
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Today I had my first decent pull request accepted.
It wasn't the biggest problem, but it made a chrome extension not work, and the author and other users couldn't figure it out.
The author seems very chill and called me 'the man' and offered me a drink.
It felt nice.1 -
*while drinking tea at cafe area*
me*thinking* : may be this is going to solve that error
yes
yess
yesssss
I got solution
but wait let's first drink this tea then I will try this solution
*came back on desk*
me*thinking* : -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
what was solution ? wtf?1 -
I regretfully procrastinated the entire week so now I must suffer with my projects.
Both programming and non programming related.
I blame the fact I was distracted with Netflix, books, google docs, and devRant.
Well... Time to drink some coffee, even though I'm a coffee hater. The caffine in tea has no influence on me, so nasty coffee it is.17 -
In-laws don't drink coffee, they just pour it and let the mug warm their hands, thus hogging the coffee I could have drank.
What kind of monster family did I marry into?4 -
The student life smell is strong with my Desktop too,
and no I don't have a problem I only drink and smoke socially also when a bug takes longer than an hour to fix...
Which is most of the time
Okay I might have a little problem
10 -
The reason I drink a lot of water so that I can go to the washroom more often just to waste time while I'm at work.
I haven't been assigned any work for this week. Maybe I'll get fired. My manager isn't showing any appreciation towards my work.6 -
This happens more often than I care to admit.
I take a coffee, then I drink a sip.
Because it's too hot I put him aside.
Start working
Lose track of everything around me
Then when I am no longer distracted by the stupid bullshit line of code that I was stuck at, I go to drink the coffee and is FUCKING COLD!!!!!6 -
Two programmers have been arrested and currently sit in a jail cell.
Programmer 1: Hey I think we had too much too drink.
Programmer 2: I believe that is a logically assumption.
Officer: You have a phone call.
Programmer 1: Yes, it's my lawyer!
Phone: Is Steve Smith ?
Programmer 1: Yes, who is this?
Phone: Hi, this is Jane calling from Tech Hub Recruiting....
Programmer 1: HOW DID YOU FIND ME?!
2 -
1. Ability to freeze time... (except for internet & computer speed). Too many ideas, not enough hours in a day. Sleep should be declared optional as well.
2. Ability to not eat/drink at all, or eat/drink in copious quantities without negative effects. I enjoy a cognac, pizza & chocolate binge more than nausea, upwards BMI creep and hangovers.
3. True Virtual Reality. None of this headset crap, but immersiveness rivaling reality itself, with voice-controlled AI-assisted interfaces to "program" anything by simply describing it, iterating over details to add increasing complexities. Not even for porn reasons... my head just overflows with creative ideas for "holonovels" and interactive worldbuilding, but I don't have the patience nor artistic skills for game development.3 -
Sometimes taking a break can really clear your head. Yesterday evening, I was programming with my mate and couldn't find a very persistent bug. Didn't want to get a break because I just wanted to solve it. He convinced me to go downstairs and get a drink. Reached the bottom of the stairs aaaaand poof, figured out the bug!1
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THX for 500++ !!! I'm so happy I found devRant by exident. I love reading rants and sometimes post my own stories.
PS: Now I can wear my JS Shirt and drink Red bull like in rl 😂 Thx again!
24 -
Think I am drinking an expired coffee.
Taste is a bit .. funny and loose.
Oh it might also be the ants. I found few ants in the sugar but I couldn't be bother removing them so I just poured coffee directly.
I should just stick to my energy drink or coke :311 -
Wake up, it's 1983...
Node? React? Copilot? Programming Socks? Furries?
Man, I told you to not drink so much the last night, now wash your face and grab a coffee, you have a program for the VAX-11 to finish.
8 -
I always get yelled at when I make a big deal of having tons of open drinks near expensive hardware, and it gets on my fucking nerves because it is almost always followed by a spill and irreversible damage.
Is it really that difficult to place beverages away from the electronics or maybe close the water bottle after taking a drink?9 -
Meets a family member****
Fam.Member: Hey so what do you do now?
Me: I work with a tech company
Fam.Member: Nice. As what?
Me: Software Engineer
Fam.Member: oh IT stuff. Can you check my phone for me, it's slow now.
Me: No (then walks away sipping my drink)7 -
My use of linux could legally drink now, in the US. And even after 21 years, I still love it more all the time.2
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!dev
Look im all for conservation and helping the environment and shit, but why can't people do it without being self righteous cunts? Like seriously.
I just saw an ad on Instagram of someone getting a drink and they're all "I don't need a straw hue hue hue" and then proceed to drink from a metal straw shit.
THE WHOLE FUCKING CUP IS PLASTIC.
Stop being a self righteous cunt if you're gonna do contradictory shit like that. Like seriously. You using a metal straw ain't changing shit whenever you've got a whole ass cup that's plastic and that you're gonna throw into a trash can.9 -
I just accepted an offer as a backend dev for a startup in Berlin, Germany. I’m looking forward to all the coffee and beer I will drink while I work. 😆7
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my way of getting unstuck is going to toilet, thats why I drink soo much liquid on work, kuz then I know that when in need, I can go "TO THE THINKING ROOM"
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!rant, just wanted to share
I invited some coworkers I count as friends to a drink on friday after work..
One of them replied: I hope it's your birhday..Right?? You're not giving up on us & resigning?8 -
Before new years eve I prepared a sheet on google sheets that allowed people to add drink recipes and order drinks (specify how many of each drink they want), calculated part of budget each person had to cover and generated shopping list of drink components with exact amounts needed.
It was more fun to make that thing than to attend the party.2 -
Protip: don't drink gin and try to install stuff on a client's NAS while logged in as root.
Thank god I changed my mind and decided to do this another time...2 -
I prefer to work while everyone is asleep, drink black coffee, low-fi music, and find a way to appreciate what I'm working on.1
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A rubber duck plugin for all ide that reminds the programer to drink water ( I usually forget to drink water while coding) and more than a few errors it should pop up automatically1
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Aaahhh, it's one of those mornings, when I sit down at my laptop, take my tall cup of hot, fresh coffee with a perfect layer of frothed milk at the top, I take a sip of this heavenly drink and feel the taste of sour curd in my mouth.
A perfectly ruined morning!5 -
I went out partying with couple of friends last night, it was nice ...
So I met this girl, she was nice and beautiful, out going basically we were getting each other's vibes and the mood was right ... We had a drink together and everything was cool until I learned her last name ...🤣
I couldn't help it I cracked up it was so intense ...
her last name was "chrooto"
I know that I have ruined my chances with her, but I don't think I could've been able to hold it5 -
4:04pm
I decided to forego working and made a drink.
I'm also making dinner, hence the time discrepancy.
It's an adios, motherfucker. But I don't have (and wouldn't use) 7up, and forewent sour mix in favor of lemon&lime juice and sparkling cider.
It's aoibhinn and craic
táim ag meisce 😊
Wheeeee4 -
Today i got to add this to my code:
"Shame on you pirate! A subscription only cost 2 cups of coffee; what are we supposed to drink now?"
Having a bit of fun with the finishing touches of my personal project :D8 -
After seeing everyone arguing about coffee on my post yesterday, I thought you guys might like to see my new invention.
I call it "the late man's coffee" for when you don't have enough time to eat breakfast and drink your morning coffee.
6 -
Less stress.. No panic.. And yea.. Beer. Drink beer if you're really stressed... Helps me out everytime..
By the way I am drinking beer as I write this..
10 -
Started working as a developer about 2 months ago and on the first day of of work I was tought how to make coffee.
I couldn't understand why is coffee so important to the everyone in the company. I didn't drink the coffee for the first 2 week.
Now after many sleepless nights spent coding i then realise why the people worship the drink so much.
People get very pissed when they go to coffee machine and find that there is no coffee then the last person to have a cup is going to be shouted at and at times even get insulted.
Now coffee is my fuel and cant do much without it.6 -
Random guy: Hey you're from Mexico ! Let's party and drink Tequila, let's go for Mamacitas !!!
Me: no, I have to work!
Random guy: come on you Mexicans don't work, and always wears a Zarape !
Me: Come on man ! It's fucking 21th century !!! You can't think that way ! I don't fucking wear a Zarape, I don't like Tequila and for the love of God is so wrong to call women "Mamacitas"2 -
How many of you drink (too much) or having a drinking problem? And did you try to fix that?
I'm sober for three months and the consequences are huge.
Some say Whiskey officially was a medicine. I believe in that.
All what i have learned: stopping cold turkey was and is not the way for me.16 -
By the way, did anyone ever went to hospital because drinking too much coffee? I drink it, you drink it, we drink it, but I'm seriously worried sometimes about my heart and blood pressure.13
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Just when I was getting used to working from home, my stupid friend made my life even more hell.
I live in a 1 bhk apartment. It's just enough for 3 guys to live comfortably. Now this stupid friend has brought in 3 of his friends since lockdown started and it looks like they are here to stay unless offices start functioning again.
I'm not a smoker and I don't like drinking every other day. Ever since his friend's moved in, it smells like I'm living in a chimney and they drink evey other day.
I don't like their lifestyle or work ethics. I try to blend in but it's a hell here for me trying to focus on my work and goals.
I'm just lucky they haven't brought in any corona yet.
I'm currently interviewing for a new job and I hope it will help me get out of this shit hole as soon as possible.
I have declined their offer for me to drink because I really want this new job. Now, I'm that odd guy in the group who doesn't drink or smoke.
Smh5 -
My company doesnt have promotions. We do get quaterly pay raises. But a person with one year experience has the same title as someone with 10 years experience.
I did get a promotion article at the train station today for drink yoghurt with a flavour.2 -
I have adhd and anxiety which means I cant smoke, drink coffee or drink alcohol because that fucks up my sleep and short term and long term memory badly for few days in a row. ADD symptoms become unmanageable. Fuck my life. I guess I will have to cut all stimulants if I want to be abe to function as a decent dev. I will have to cut most of my social circle because they wont understand me not going out for drinks... Fuck my life....14
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The coffee here is so shitty, I have to drink lots of water to get rid of the terrible flavor that remains in my mouth every single time.
On the other hand, I'm very well hydrated.8 -
Drink. Coffee.
I always make sure I learn something new everyday even just small bits of information. -
Today was a good day, (day 4 of my junior dev career) I met the only other female Dev in the company , great stuff
And I'm starting to see how well I fit into the company. The only hot drinks options are coffee and green tea- exactly the only hot things I drink 😂(I think they all hacked me and made the work exactly the way I'd like it hm)3 -
Four beers with an expiry date of 2022. What do you do? Easy, drink three so you don't care about the expiry date of the fourth and enjoy.
Didn't tag it as joke because it's seriously what I just did12 -
I don't get why people like so much to mix personal life with professional... Always planning parties and "Forcing" everybody to join in... Sometimes it seems you can only be a good professional if you like to drink all weekend and complain about what you've been paid to do...8
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Am I weird for not liking Whiskey?
It just kinda tastes... bad. Everybody is taking about notes of vanilla, undertones of strawberry, BITCH where. It tastes like weird with alcohol. And the alcohol part isn't really the problem. I'd much rather drink straight up vodka. Yes it tastes like drain cleaner but at least it doesn't have this weird ass taste to it. I actually quite like vodka. I just don't get whiskey17 -
Patience is not slapping a non-technical end user when they explain how easy it is going to be to make a change to an application.1
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!rant
How does everyone here like their coffee?
For every cup I drink, it should be espresso (0.35 litres) with three cubes 'o sugar and a little shot of milk.11 -
Anyone else have trigger words that make them excited about programming?
I can come home from a full day of work, hear the word "append" or "include" and then instantly want to down an energy drink do another 8 hours.5 -
Do not drink a lot of alcohol when you are severely dehydrated.
Much regret.
Must find rag to fill with cold water, wring out, and place over eyes to reacquire that sweet, sweet unconsciousness.
Unrelated, if I haven’t told y’all that you should never Chumbawamba, you should never Chumbawamba. I did it once in uni and it was a super bad time. (Chumbawamba is what I call using Tubthumping as an instruction set. Do not take a whisky drink, then a vodka drink, than a lager drink, then a cider drink, etc etc.)6 -
Without caffeine ➞ me ⩶ useless
With caffeine ➞ anxiety++
Btw I don't drink 10 liters / 2.6 gallons of coffee everyday or anything, just a small latte does the trick ..
7 -
Not sure if I'm disappointed or relieved.
Just spent 5 years trying the get into this class. Studying and asking and getting recommendations. I knew it had less than a 5% pass rate but it's all that I've been aiming for for years.
Finally got into it, and spent 4 months working my ass off. Today I got told that I'm maybe being dropped. And honestly, as disappointed as I am, and I might need a new dream to aim for, I'm actually pretty okay with it.
I've been so stressed and annoyed and unhappy lately. I was starting to debate if this is even what I want. And for the first night in a while I can just drink whisky and not worry about the next test or doing classwork at midnight instead of sleeping.... I can just relax and whatever happens happens. I can't control how tomorrow goes.
Not sure if "oof. I need a drink" or "thank god, lets celebrate with a drink!"3 -
I drink a lot and of water so I always have two glasses by my bedside -
A full one in case I get thirsty and an empty one in case I don't... -
Caffeine meets every criteria for being a drug:
- Alters mental state
- Addictive
- Has withdrawal symptoms
- Tolerance increases with time
If you rely on caffeine to function, statistically, you spend the majority of your waking life in caffeine crush, longing for more and more caffeine to just function normally.
Face it: you’re a drug addict. Caffeine being legal doesn’t mean it’s not a drug.
I don’t do caffeine at all. I don’t drink sodas that have caffeine, I don’t drink tea either. That’s why I’m always full of energy. Yes, caffeine withdrawal gave me a week of terrible headaches, but I pushed through, and now my life is completely transformed.30 -
Myself
The place is poorly run, I drink beer at my desk in secret or worse have tantrums like a 2 year. -
236 lines of code in main doing like 400 things that should each be their own function DX
Fucking legacy projects
This is why I drink on the weekends4 -
Best part about being a (intern) dev?
Has to be being able to eat when I want, get a drink when I want, take a break when I want. But most of all, the godly feeling of being able to dress like a slob and not having to care about looking like one.5 -
My new routine after getting Elden RIng has been:
1. Get home and work out.
2. Drink protein shake
3. Take a shower, clean up and play with me pp
4. Get out and play elden ring until my wife unglues me from the controller.
And i fucking love it. Beast game in my opinion. FS really hit a home run with this mfker.105 -
I'm too addicted and used to coffee...Like I can literally drink it right before going to sleep and I'll get a pretty good one. How bad is this? :|16
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All I want in life is to sit at a desk, drink hot coco or energy drinks, program and slowly become insane, because my code won't work2
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Now that I work from home as a freelancer, my favourite way to get through a tough day is:
1. Scream internally
2. Realise I’m getting over-stressed
3. Roll myself a blunt
4. Smoke said blunt
5. Dick about on YouTube / internet for a while
6. Make myself a drink (tea etc)
7. Come back and work the problem with a better perspective and fresh eyes.3 -
# Don't like ice coffee
# not in a mood for hot drink
# but I need coffee
Most difficult decision
🤦9 -
Before I decided to switch careers (PM to Dev) I would drink coffee, black, sometimes with 2+ shots of espresso on those nasty days...
It's been 18 months into this transition and I find that by about 9AM a strong dark coffee with 1+ shots of whiskey is required on any day...
No regrets on the switch, Just didn't see that coming is all...3 -
How I work:
I drink lots of coffee and pass out for 12 hours.
It’s like alcoholism, just less productive.28 -
Interesting.
I wrote how I fall asleep even though I took an energy drink last night on different social media app.
Now devRant is showing me these. 👀
-
Great, just in the week when I’m on holiday, they decided to do a coffee mug contest on devRant, so I wasn’t able to show mine. Well, I think this one deserves it’s place amongst the other beauties. It’s completely impractical to drink from, but it can count as a statement ;)
1 -
• I listen to music
• I eat/drink something
• I go to the toilet and think about unrelated stuff (which might actually provide a solution)
• I go to sleep
I try the top one first, and if it doesn't work, the next one, and so on, until I am done with the last one. -
Am i the only one annoyed that at first the coffee is too hot, so you have to take small sips. But when its at the right temperature, you have to drink it fast so that it doesnt go cold.1
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I really dont like Coffee maschines that serve the Coffee Drink ready. If i want Coffee i want it hot as shit4
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Me: Damn you good tasty coffee!!! Now I can't drink coffee anywhere else than at home and (more) expensive coffeebars!!!
Coffee: But you love me!!
Me: I know!! That's the fucking problem!!2 -
I dunno how you guys can drink all that coffee... And also have it actually work.
I bought a large from McD at lunch, drinking it throughout the afternoon but maybe a third left...
But I feel tired still and think I also have a slight headache/dizzy feeling...6 -
In-person interview follow up from my phone interview last week. I hope I nail it. Stressing though. Gotta eat, drink water, and calm the hell down.1
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So instead of drinking shit like Pepsi Max while coding on a weekend, and since it's so hot lately, I thought I'd buy a blender and some fruits and make frozen fruit drinks.
After unpacking the blender, I notice a booklet with a few recipes.
All I can say, is, ":/".
I'm thinking about making a frozen watermelon and peach drink right now. What do you guys like to drink when it's really hot (besides coffee)?
12 -
A guy just smashed his head on the keyboard in a slack channel i’m in, likely being drunk
Thank god I was quick enough to tell him to not drink and code. He promptly followed it by „This message has been deleted“ -
I'm at work coding at 21:00 on a Friday cause money, no life ya know, but then it hit me. I could be at home on coding on a Friday night and still I would have no money and no life but o would have ALCOHOL! Ballmer peak here I come!
Ps I haven't drank in 6 days and I don't drink to excess (often). I just find it enjoyable2 -
Where's my Monster?! Why's it in the trash can, I swear I didn't drink it that fast. Damn you Illuminati!!!3
-
What i can do in the airplane...
Read books
Listen to music
Sleep
See outside the window
Make some programs
Drink water
Play card games
Anything else?
Note: the plane i am rodong doesnt have anything interesting in ife, only airshow6 -
I have a feeling that one of the most valuable skills I have yet to learn is the ability to drink coffee.
-
1. start up my monitors, have one monitor streaming news while the other one is browsing devRant.
2. drink an ungodly amount of caffeine
3. crash so hard that I have an excuse not to code and go back to bed. -
I have a few colleagues who code best when slightly drunk. So I gave it a try a couple of times. That didn't work - I immediately felt drowsy and sleepy.
In general, I don't drink. I like it when my mind is razor-sharp and works better than a swiss watch, and even tiny amounts of alcohol spoil that clockwork for me. So drunk coding is not for me. -
The meeting I will go in few minutes. Our app went in production 2 weeks ago, the managers invite us (devs) to have a drink with 'important' people I don't even know. We will celebrate the success of the project, after 6 months of pressure with everyone telling we will fail and that we are losers. Hypocrite meeting.2
-
I actually have a quite good social life..
I keep at least 2 nights per week to spend time with my friends and drink!
The only issue is that no one of them are in tech. But yeah, as said in a previous rant, i'd like to have dev friends, mentor..6 -
Suffering from concentration, meaning my coffee is cold. I can’t drink cold coffee, it makes me retch. That’s the second cup today I’ve let die on me. It’s pissing me off now.6
-
After walking 15-20 kilometres every day in 36 degrees Celsius (feel is like 42) for the past 5 days, I think a Japanese alcoholic drink and a bath is well deserved...7
-
These guys. I drink a lot of water (I stopped drinking coffee so I had to replace it with something).
-
!dev
But i like sharing.
So i hated stout. But recently i had a kid and my partners parents are from England. Back in the day，breastfeeding mums used to drink light stout， because the yeast helped to boost milk production.
Well i buy beer every week and run out of it by wednesday. So at my disgust i started drinking stout.
Now my brestfeeding partner complains coz i drink all her beer ;)9 -
That moment when you worked with bug 2 days and now it's a feature! I need to drink more coffee because it helps - Ready to do more!
-
So my gf told me about a job offerin she heard. They're looking for Python dev for a weather website.
Cool sound good.
Thank god I went for a drink with friends that night cause when I mentioned the job...well.
Apparently this dick pays about a 100$ LESS than a MINIMUM wage (not to mention the hostile work environment).
Honestly idk how they even stay afloat. I mean you can make almost DOUBLE working at McDonald's. -
So the project I work on basically has to talk to a 3rd party plugin, through a 3rd party framework. The 3rd party plugin is a black box. This conversation happened:
Software guy: so we aren't sure what is breaking the thing. It's either us or the plugin, but it's probably both.
Systems guy: well then if we aren't sure then why are we writing an issue for it.
SWG: because we aren't sure but we know we are doing at least something that contributes. We read int X from a table and put it into a float. X doesn't perfectly represent in a float. It comes out X.0001. Then they take it and when it comes back it comes back as Y.0001. We cram it into an int so it becomes Y, we compare it to X which is really X.0001 and it comes back invalid.
SG: well as long as we are sending them the right number . . .
SWG: but we aren't sending them the right number. They are expecting X not X.0001. Then they send us back Y.0001 but it should be X so it's wrong.
SG: so they're giving us the wrong return value.
SWG: yes, but because we're giving them the wrong number.
SG: well not exactly . . .
SWG: yes exactly. It is off by .0001 because of floating point math.
SG: well . . .
Me: look it doesn't matter how it's breaking. But it IS broken. Which is why we're filling out the damn problem report. THEY ARE EDITABLE. We talked to the customer and gave them the risk assessment. They don't care. It happens rarely any way.
SG: then can we lower the severity?
Me: no. Severity doesn't relate to risk. That is a whole different process. Severity assumes it has already happened. It's a a high severity.
SG: but the metrics.
Me: WE GIVE THE METRICS TO THE CUSTOMER. WE TALKED TO THE CUSTOMER. THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT.
And that was how I spent Wednesday wondering how a level 4 lead systems engineer got his job. How many push ups did he do? What kind of juice did he drink?2 -
Fck I can't sleep again. I'll just drink coffee and code again. This pandemic destroyed my body clock!
9 -
So an update on my last health rant..
It's got off to a great start... not
My intentions were to go into NYC to walk around in Central Park.
I'm currently wandering around aimlessly in the park, taking a break..
On my way over though I passed a bubble tea festival that was happening...
Gotta get bubble tea now... *Bad* but easier it's so expensive.. They're price gouging!!!
*good? But more I want a drink... I have water but I want something tastier...*
**Sees Duane Reade, goes in no sole, too expensive**
** Sees McD...pass... sees sign saying any large drink for $1**
...
I'm now waking in CP while drinking a large Sprite.... and I want cake bc I'm already in NYC goddammit... might as well get some as it's in the way... And I won't get another chance until.... **Some far away date** ( I know is probably not true...)
Help?1 -
I know we all hate FAANG companies here but I got invited to Amazon 5 hour interview(5 session here) after 2 technical i terviews and it feels good. It will also be in the domain I really want to work in.
But enough for good news, I want you to piss in my drink. Give me reasons to stay away from Amazon. Especially in European branch. What are they bad at? Why would people leave Amazon? Company gossips, I want to hear everything!12 -
Anyone in South West Kansas looking to grab a drink? Lol, I fucking can't with my (l)users today...3
-
Saw this meme in an article the other day about why it's a bad idea to make your guru-grade devs quit.
It suddenly dawned on my that the meme pretty much summed up all the decent Devs i've worked with over the years - they generally turn coffee and beer into code.
-
1. Use all my vacation days
2. Learn something that has nothing to do with computers (seriously I bore myself sometimes in conversation)
3. Drink more rum and learn about it at the same time
4. Make time for friends and family
5. No massive outages!
Mostly I want to step out of work and be more sociable1 -
Caffeine is crucial but I’m trying to moderate it! What good does it do if you have to drink 5 cups of coffee everyday to feel normal! I drink coffee like Hobbits eat! Breakfast coffee, second breakfast coffee, elevensies coffee, lunch coffee, onesies coffee...2
-
string action = day == "Monday" ? "Go to work" : "Friday" ? "Netflix & chill" : "Saturday" ? "Sleep all day" : "Sunday" ? "Get ready again for Monday" : "Code from 9-5";
I wrote nested ternary operators before and I swear I'd only use shorter conditions like the one below. 😳
string action = isTired == true ? "Get some sleep" : "Drink more coffee";5 -
Sometimes when I drink water out of a glass bottle I knock the edge of it against my overly sensitive front teeth just to feel something once again.9
-
Only now just realised I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks and even longer since I had an iced coffee... Guys I think I've discovered why my rants are down!!!
Time to go get fucking hammered and try to build the world!1 -
This motherfucking conference!
I've been waiting for over a day for the fucking notification to come out. The way it is going, were I in Aus the notification would be two fucking days late. If this translates into rejection, I'd like the organizers to drink boiling lava and then get fucked in the arse with frozen lava; cuz the delay is a fucking nerve wracker!3 -
As a Developer, we go through all kinds of situations. There are happy moments and there are frustrations.
What I've seen is, my colleagues use booze to chill and put out their stress. I dont drink nor smoke. I feel, i need something to put out my stress. Any suggestions?14 -
Not a b2plane post.
I'm noticing a strange behavior of my body where the moment I go in the "coding zen" feeling the first time after waking up, my body wants to poop.
Previously I attributed it to me drinking tea before starting work.
But then today, I didn't drink tea. I woke up and started working right after, and still when I hit the "coding zen" feeling, my body wanted to poop.
Wtf..6 -
Thanks @xzvf my desk is now accurate because the only two things I drink are coffee and redbull ♥️2
-
Do you distance yourself from people who calls, messages or email's you when they need help? I have few friends who are nice people but they remember me when they need some work to be done. They don't call me to meet for drink or hangout.8
-
I may have been drinking too much coffee. I really like (need?) it.
Do you know the feeling after say eating the same meal a free evenings in a row makes you dislike that for a while?
I think that's happening to me now for coffee :(
What the FACK am I gonna do now? Drink tea? 😦4 -
Happy Holidays, Everyone.
Wishing you all a fine holiday with closure and finality of this existential crisis we've called 2020. I will never forget this year. Cheers to the impending doom of this year which feels more like a goddamn era.
Eat. Drink. And be Merry.
2021 is coming!
Yours,
@bulletsponge -
I am trapped at Dave and Busters with a bunch of kids. I can't drink cause I have to drive them home.
-
function toCodeOrNotToCode() {
if (!isset($coffeeOrRedbull)) {
die('No work can be done');
} else {
return true;
}
}
// I don't drink Redbull daily4 -
when you just had to drink that Kate coffee to get that last bit done and commited but as a result is completely unable to sleep.. ends up in a train of thoughs with a hint of philosophy... weep woop before you know it, your night sent Warp speed to bright outside..
finally i feel tired.. fml.1 -
Who the hell hardcodes their localhost ports in a web.config without updating the release config to the correct production URLs? And why doesn't our ops team pick up on this shit before clicking their fancy deploy button? And why in holy heaven do we even have a pre-production server if it isn't an exact mirror of production?
God help me, I need a drink. -
I just spent about 30h desperately trying to figure out why my Qradar API queries were not working while running in docker, but somehow worked when running locally. I was just minimally stressed because it's my bachelor thesis, which I need to turn in in 3 weeks and this basically nuked my whole planning.
So apparently docker requires you to set your own timezone, so my API queries were always querying data from an hour early, when the requested data did not exist yet....
It's 3PM and I need a drink, or maybe 101 -
3 exams over, only two left. One pretty easy and one pretty stupid one. But atleast I can have a drink in the meantime 😋
-
Had been trying to get the latest build rolled out for the past 3 days. Every morning, I wake up around 6am, drink a nice cup of coffee, while listening to Ariana Grande (I don't know why, but for some reason, she randomly started coming on my playlist a lot) and start rolling out, and sure enough new errors start spiking, ultimately rollback.
Conclusion: don't listen to Ariana Grande when rolling out to production! 🤔 -
I'm an alcoholic and a programmer. I don't drink when I'm programming so that I can focus. Programming is therefore good for my health.4
-
I think I need more human interaction .... Anyone want a drink ?
Maybe not the best place to ask... I'll go to a bar -
so.. I took a drink tonight, and finished watching some devRant posts about alcohol and some funny stories..
whats wrong with u guys 😂 -
Coworkers at the office kitchen always act so surprised when they find out that I like coffee even though I rarely drink some. Well, I just don't need caffeine to function properly. Simple as that.1
-
Has anyone ever coded drank? Did you break anything? I mostly drink a glass of whisky whenever I solve a bug that tortured me...3
-
Srsly, who the fuck using internet explorer or edge in 2018??? I wanna drink a coffee with them while talking about mental disorders.4
-
So a SQL server walks into a bar to grab a drink. He gets his drink and spots a table with two people sitting down with a spare chair. So he walks up to them and says "Hey, can I JOIN you two?"1
-
I don't understand the concept of drinking tea or coffee. More over why is everyone is so surprised when I say "I don't drink tea or coffee." ??4
-
Beeeeedddddddddd wanna lay in soft sweet bed and drink champagne nightly and receive soft blowjobs until I nod off into Dreamland for a straight goddamn week
Oh and code and stuff to stay on topic lol1 -
Two words, red bull.
I dont drink coffee often or drink it otherwise, so it gives a real kicker to the old brain.4 -
I'm 17 and I already have a coffee problem!! I drink 5 to 6 cups of coffee a day!! I need to slow down..12
-
I don't drink, mainly because I'm not going to be 21 until November, but I have been extremely tired while programming before. One time it was like 4 in the morning and I just wanted to get my app to build successfully with no errors. I got that to happen, then went to bed. When I woke up seven hours later, I went back to work on the app some more, and I had no idea what I changed when I was borderline asleep to make the app build successfully. Go figure.
-
My first real own project outside of school was a drinking game written in Java. It had a ugly af GUI where you HAD to put in 5 names and 5 drinks because I didn't knew about storing objects in lists or arrays nor about checking for empty string when trying to access the string value that would be put in there by reading the empty input field. So I had 5 variables each for names and drinks. Then u would click on an button and it would randomly decide who had to drink which drink and how many sips between 1 to 5. Only played it ones at a party where I downloaded eclipse so that I could start my program because I knew shit about compiling into an executable file.
-
The past few days I didn't drink much water. So today I am dehydrated and focus is basically non-existent.
Downed three glasses of water and one sugary drink, still can't understand what's happening around me. Gah!
In the meantime, trying to understand math papers. This is fun! **says while head is spinning and has a slight fever**
I'mma go home and sleep. 🛌8 -
I dunno for you guys and I am sorry in advance but what is jira? "a proprietary issue tracking product providing bug tracking, issue tracking and project management functions" right?
so why the fuck do I need to write a fucking "Log Work" when I pee, when I poop, when I go out taking a break, when I drink coffee...2 -
So, since winter is growing closer here and the temperatures started dropping, I once again began to bring a hot tea thermos with me at my University.
Whenever I get bored and lose focus, I usually pour a cup and drink, trying to relax and regain my lost concentration.
I also fail miserably and turn to my phone when inevitably the tea runs out :/ -
Today has been a day... I tried debugging something.. it failed.. as I saw my day passing I switched to something else.... now I can go for a drink.. I did something today..2
-
Every Morning I wake up with a subtle headache. It’s not as bad as with a hangover but still like a dehydration headache. I drink like 3 - 4 Liters of Water per day though so it can’t be that.
Any ideas on how to fix this? It makes getting up just even harder than it already is..26 -
Continuing my last random post. (Please don't bother to take a look at it.)
But, hey you. Yes you, get yourself one beer/whisky and cheers!!
Why? Because my first django project ran successfully in staging environment!! Ok, There were few little bugs. But I fixed most of them.
I don't drink. So please go and enjoy on behalf of me.
And don't drink too much. Keep one bottle for production deployment.
P.S. This is just a beginning of the new journey! Still, lot to learn and experience.1 -
Why the best developers That I know work for someone that doesn't have any knowledge about programming. Anyway let's drink1
-
friend: yo dude, wanna drink?
me: nah man, that stuff kills brain cells.
friend: you say its killing brain cells but i say its just real life dropout to prevent overfitting1 -
Mom: Cool! I need a webshop!
Dad: hah OK, I still make more money then you though.
Little brother: MAKE ME A GAME!
Girlfriend: You only play ping-pong and drink coffee all day! -
Well I like to keep my room clean so I don't really have anything on my desk, except WATER, I have like 5 big bottles of water so that I remember to drink, and always have enough
-
A typical (Covid) day (for me) being self employed. I tend to start working at around 8am, only break to make coffee, and by 3:30 in the afternoon I fall asleep til 5pm. Then I get some food, play my bass, mess around in garage band, drink a bottle of wine, watch some crap movie, go to bed around 1:00am rinse and repeat. I never work weekends anymore. Interested to know your Covid day,.5
-
So this new guy keeps commenting on the fact that I drink the ‘free’ instant coffee instead of the 3$ coffee from the shop next door..
LEAVE ME ALONE!!5 -
!dev
I like trying the local pißwasser of choice when traveling around. Sometimes it's bad (Baltika, fe). Working out of Glasgow atm, so it's irnbrü, kind of tastes like bubblegum. What's everyones' local drink du jour (alcoholic or otherwise)?
27 -
My job isn't stressful all the time. Sometimes I'm in meetings and I'm just bored. And sometimes I have a coke to drink. That's pretty nice.
But right now my app is breaking and I don't know why. It either corrupts the heap sometimes or breaks the execution engine sometimes or attempts to write pointers I don't control into protected memory sometimes. Can't reliably reproduce them. And every time I try to debug one it causes the other.
But I do have a Coke. -
Anyone considered substance use to make you a better programmer? Personally I struggle with concentration for more than 6 hours a stretch and I just started vaping with no nicotine but I just read this and maybe it's what I need?
https://selfhacked.com/blog/...
I don't drink or do drugs but life is so competitive I think maybe I need an edge against prescription adderall programmers rising in the ranks....4 -
To be honest, I've never been drunk. Really, teenagers couldn't be drunk, yeah? Only thing I drink is a lot of coffee, yerba, and tea. Never drink yerba before you're going to sleep. That could end with another sleepless night in front of your laptop. Also, never drink yerba in public, some may call you hipster, some may call you gay. But I still don't know what homosexual thing is in yerba.4
-
kikis probably right
i'm a pathetic addict
the problem is i never drink *quite* enough to do something *really* stupid
at my level any other rere would probably be doing something very destructive
but i'm not afforded such luxury
instead just 10+ drinks in on a saturday :/ (now sunday)5 -
Today is just another one of those days. Having to take (paid) time off from work and play golf at Topgolf for the after noon, with free food and drink,with all my teammates. I love this company!
-
Why should you choose between coffee and tea when you can drink both at the same time?
Haha I actually enjoy brewing vanilla tea and coffee ☕5 -
Saw few rants asking about liquor and coding. I'm a drinker but I never drink and code. And never will.
But I kinda have a fantasy similar to the opening act from the film "Swordfish" :31 -
#Smoke_and_Coffee
Why everyone I told that I have an addition on Coffee said so you are a smoker
Ooh God no I'm not a smoker, I'm just a programmer that write 2 lines on code and drink a cup of coffee.4 -
Fellow developers. I would like to know on average how much coffee we drink during the day. Can we fill a pool with that?8
-
Don't drink and CTF
I feel boiling right now after immense pressure and pouring all my energy for this -
Wsl with docker. Wtf! Why don’t you work? Ops has destroyed my machine today. Time to drink.
I no longer give a fuck.3 -
Okay so there's lots of posts regarding coffee... I don't actually drink coffee, does this mean I can't be a dev anymore?6
-
How does Programmer enjoy their Life?
Girl: Do you drink?
Programmer: No.
Girl: Have Girlfriend?
Programmer: No.
Girl: Then how do you enjoy life?
Programmer: I am a Programmer
8 -
What is keeping you up at nights?
I'm not a coffee person. I can drink it and go to sleep :)
For me it's Pepsi. Fast shugar for energy, I guess. Strong green tea on 2nd place.3 -
I am real tired of learning new stuff every day to keep up with technology I just wish someone invent some sort of pill, so when angular js, 3.0 released or vuejs or python or ruby or any new discovery , we just go buy a pill drink it and get smart, sorry if I offended you that how dum i am and that's how I feel lmao3
-
!dev
Wanted to get a haircut. My normal barber closed, so I just went to the closest one where arabic looking guys are working (as they are usually amazing with beards...) And you wouldn't belive it...
You need to schedule an apointment! Not just walk in, get offered something to drink, wait your turn and crack stupid jokes with the waiting guys...
Fuck!4 -
1. Collecting old money from diffrent countrys around the world.
2. I'm obsessed with The AsoIaf books.
3. I got a list of 101 diffrent types of beer to drink before I die, Im at 30 something. -
Hey guys, I hope you don't mind if I do a little promotion here.
So, a couple of months ago I started an open-source community called The Open-source Dudes, and we first started with a telegram server, then a discord server and our next big step is to show us to the world. To do that, we created a subreddit, feel free to join!!
https://www.reddit.com/r/TOSD
And don't forget to drink coffee!!5 -
At Granny's and I must say these folks drink a lot of tea. She keeps on saying, "add more tea my grandson!".
I'm not complaining though, it's a good break from coffee for a few days2 -
What do you drink while you're programming?
Don't say "coffee, energy drinks", post the model/type.
I'm from Spain, and usually I drink this: http://coffee.wikia.com/wiki/...28 -
I am like a person who hates to drink water from a steel vessal, because he always got experience of getting a shitty drink in a dirty steel vessal. But whenever i got a chance to drink from a beautiful glass or gold cup, I immediately fucked up and dropped it on my foot
(cup/ vessal == company)2 -
Some rhythmic psytrance or full-on.
That's basically everything I need to good into semi-flow state.
Sometimes an energy drink can give additional kick. -
I drink enough water to be hydrated, throw on some random rock playlist or System of A Down album & I'm in the mood.
-
Last day my coffee ran out and i could not drink coffee. Now i've got that without coffee coding skill willbe disappear,,,2
-
So I'm at the office today. Really missing singing along off key at the top of my lugs while I drink on the job and work in just underwear.
Also missing all my screen real estate2 -
Two words: drink coffee.
Besides that, a good playlist with non-vocal music, and a clear head. If I am excited about some other aspect in my life, I have little desire to code that day. I find it easiest when I start thinking about how to resolve a particular issue. -
Hell is: having a high tolerance to caffeine. Meaning coffee and energy drinks do nothing for me.
I'm so sleepy.6
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