*yesterday*
Client: "Perfect! How did you do this so quickly?"
Me: "I used a library"
*today*
Me: "I'm still debugging. It will take some time"
Client: "Well, it has already taken too long...I can hear Mozart in the background. Maybe you need to go to a library to get some quiet and get it done fast. Visit the one you used yesterday."
Me: "Library?...Ah, I meant plugin...like, code...a library is a bunch of packaged code"

"Work for me", client said, "I won't pay you but you will get some reputations for working with us" he added.

"Sorry, my body can't digest reputation", I replied.

When you copy some code and select the code you want to get replaced and accidentally press Ctrl+c again so you have to copy the thing you wanted to copy again 😡

First post on here. Hope some of you get a kick out of it.

Customer :Can you build a system that rates our product by XYZ standard?
Us: Sure!

*time passes*

Us: Ta-da!
Customer: Okay, here are some good and some bad products!

*products get rated shit to supershit*

Customer: No, that's wrong. Some of these are as good as we can, they should be rated best!
Us: okay, we offset the results.

*products get rated good to barely okay*

Customer: Great! Can you sign that the system rates by XYZ Standard?
Us: No.
Customer : But we paid you to rate by XYZ standard!
Us: By XYZ standard your products are bad, you can either have your products rated by standard or pass the test.
Customer: Unacceptable!
Us: Improve production?
Customer : Not possible, the job is done when you rate the products good by XYZ standard.

Fuck Microsoft.

No, not in any relation to windows this time.

Dear Microsoft, why on earth did you put us on your spam blacklist? There haven't been any spam attacks from our side, our servers have nearly the highest 'reputation' that email servers can get, we comply to all security standards and yet you're blacklisting us.

If for some reason you think something is wrong at our side anyways, we've tried to contact you and we either get ignored or get a very late response saying that we'll get delisted again within a day/week or whatsoever.

Microsoft, please go fuck yourself.

When u write code that produces this bug, you know it's time to get some sleep 😓

Me: I'm gonna write some code today. Try to push more commits in a single day than I did last week.

Github: You only get half a contribution tile today, bitch.

Fuck it I’m posting it again because I got got by this…Again.

If this is how you write your APIs, take a number, get in line. I got some slapping to get out of my system.

Visiting websites in

2015: Download our app

2016: Get our notifications

Give me some space will you ffs

Me: So you know how to program in Java right?

Poser: yea.

Me: can you show me some of your work?

Poser: console.log("Hello, World!")

Me: get out.

Do you build some eastereggs into your homepages / apps?

When you press F + U + C + K together on my newest creation you get something like this :-D

To everyone that writes their rants and comments as code like

Console.writeline("something something")

Stop, get some help.
You don't need to prove that you know how to print a string okay ?

Always be humble and always keep learning. No matter how good you get, there is always some better.

Sometimes, all of a sudden, i get a couple of upvotes on some old rants. Thank you algorithm! 😀

I hate it when people say they want to "GET a new girlfriend"...
Shouldn't it be "FIND a new girlfriend"?
I mean you can't just go into the supermarket and get some butter, milk and a new girlfriend. You can't buy them. By saying that, you seem to me as if you're treating women as objects. I know it's technically possible to buy a girlfriend, but that's prostitution.
I think that "GET a new girlfriend" just doesn't sound right...

Your opinions?

My fellow students as high school freshmen: You can code right?
Me: Yup
Them: So can you like hack the school and better my grades(they are all honor students btw)
Me: *Sure, want me to hack paypal and get you some cash too?*
Them: Jeez just asked for a tiny favor.

The 4 stages of collaboration:

- Stage1:
Hey dude, I setup some online docs and left some instructions / discussion points in slack, but you haven't been logged in. Can you login and have a look when you get a chance?

- Stage 2:
Oh Hey, did you ever get a chance to have a look at those docs / discussion points?

- Stage 3:
Hey, look this is due by close of business tomorrow, can you take spend an hour on it before you leave?

- Stage 4:
*loads shotgun* HEY YOU! ... sit here, login to that ..... STOP CRYING AND HURRY UP ..... see that right there? thats missing your input, you have 15 minutes left ... GO!

I'm fast approaching stage 4 and loading my efficiency shotgun as we speak.

Someone played a random game that I'd made. He was really impressed by the story (mostly dialogs). And he asked me:
Him: "Did you pay much?"
Me: "What???"
Him: "Well, I'm sure you had to pull some strings to get that dialog"
I laughed hysterically.

Fucking crunchyroll hardcodes their access tokens in a Constants Class in their APK, technically that is a security issue.

What the actual fuck Crunchyroll!? No fucking wonder you got DNS Hijacked so quick, security is literally your second priority you dumbed down twats, get some real devs and some real QAs for fucking god sakes, you're tearing down your own system by inviting exploits.

User: Hi , I am facing some issues.
Tech Help: Please elaborate your issues.

User: My monitor's screen is flickering.
Tech Help: Please drop an email with the screenshot. We will get back to you later.

User: *Speechless*.

Do you know that feel when some relatives ask you why you are "gaming" all the time, while in reality you just released a new version of a library you wrote and wanted to get it right?

Some companies have images of their tech support personnel in their websites.

They show you Steve and Michael......but in reality you get Rajhit and Pakalu

Friend :- Dude i made some changes and the code is not working now.
Me:- Bro, Do you even GIT it?
Friend :- No i don't GET it how it happened and how to restore it.
Me :- You destroyed my pun and my faith in your development skills -_-.

"Do you easily get offended?"

"We have a bro culture here. [Some other stuff and examples] So do you think you can fit in here?"

"Tell us about a time you had to communicate with people who are not as technically capable as you."

I can remember more but cba tbh.

!dev

My laptop battery finally died, it’s been 4 years. Damn gotta spend some money to get a replacement one. Did you guys think we could get a genuine replacement from the vendor? It’s ASUS brand

Fuck those clients which are surprised when they get an invoice when they ask you to do something for them.

I think it's as simple as:

- you know my hourly rate
- you ask me to do some work for you
- I give you an estimation
- you agree with the estimation
- I get the job done and show it to you
- you accept the edits/solutions
- I send you an invoice with less hours than estimated
- you agree with the invoice and pay

It seems that every step is going well, except the last one...

Well... fuck you too.

If your reading this and currently suffering from imposter syndrome then I have some words for you...

You’re fucking awesome! If you get a little better every day then you are the fucking bomb and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

Fuck the doubt because you are only as professional and valuable as you believe you are.

<rant about devRant>
Can people please stop posting images stolen from someone else trying to get some points. I'm here to read rants and other interesting things you encounter while working with software development, not look at memes. Thank you.
</rant about devRant>

Some days you get git, other days git gets you.

You ever open some code that was committed a few years ago by an employee long gone and it's so shit you have to get up and go outside to take a deep breath of fresh air?

If you're gonna comment a lot or a little, at least be consistent. I just read some code like this:

//prints "are you ready?"
printf("are you ready?");

//get the value
int findVal(int x) {
/* some fucking complex algorithm with no comments whatsoever that seems to have an error messing everything up */
}

Sorry 'bout the brag but..

That moment when you actually forgot you study, look stuff up 5 mins before on the train and get 10/10 in some random test you attended last minute.👏

When you've tried for hours to fix a bug, But you know you have to try and get some sleep, and at the same time know you won't be able to sleep if you can't solve the bug...

I recently had been on a vacation to Singapore and Malaysia, and out of 1000+ pics/videos I clicked, this one's taken specially for you guys 🤗

When you have 143 opened tabs and you feel like they are sucking the life out of you. Time to get some Oxygen !

Big boss: Last year we had much more revenue and profits than our expectations, and this success is thanks to all of you. Thank you! You made an excellent work! Impressive!
Some employee: Can we all get a raise?
Big boss: Wtf that question again? No way!

Back at highschool me and a friend were transferring movies from one USB to another, and my friend left some movies on the computer.

IT guys walks in and confronts us about the movies, where we thought we'd get in trouble, guess what he says next...

Hey guys I see you have some movies, well if you want you can copy some of the movies from my collection! LOL

For the first two year of my engineering I believed having a good developer profile will land you in top companies(eg FAANG).

Later I realised doing competitive coding will help you to get in those companies.

But at the end I saw one of my friend getting into those companies by only doing specific type questions that are usually asked in these companies.

Moral of the story - Just by practicing some specific question from some premium website(eg leetcode), you could easily get into your dream company.

PS- I was not selected in any of these giant companies and later on took an internship in some start up which was again a tragedy for me.

Writing bad code has its perks.

Whenever you are hungry you only have to write a few lines of code and you get some spaghetti

Every fucking time, I apply for a role that suits, NOT SOME SUPER SENIOR ROLE THAT REQUIRES HUGE FUCKING EXPERIENCE, I get an email "After careful consideration, we've decided not to move on" BITCH YOU HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED WHAT YOU HAVE "CAREFULLY" CONSIDERED, I HAVENT APPLIED FOR SOME SPECIAL SPACE SCIENTIST POSITION YA CUNT.

The Humble bundle currently offers a bunch of Linux related books. Some gimp shit, and some blender shit.

The thing is, they have the Linux Programming interface by Michael Kerrisk for 30 dllrs(in total for everything)

Ladies and gents, that right there is a DAMN good deal. That book is fucking gold. Used it during Uni, didn't get to keep it. 30 bucks for a bunch of pdfs, ebook and mobi plus a book that for itself is worth more? Shiet son. It will pump up both your Linux and C chops I would tell ya that much.

I'd made that deal.

What about you Utivich, you'd made that deal?

Utivich: I'd made that deal.

I don't blame you. DAMN GOOD deal.

Everyone that says you can't get viruses in Linux because only .exe compiled programs can contain malicious code or some bullshit like this is a fucking retarded

Sorry I had to say it

Hey guys!
Just joined devRant! Can't wait to get more involved!
Bored in the lockdown, I built an app which lets you chat with people around you.
Its called Cyrcl!
Built in over ~40 days, I was the sole developer.
Here is the tech stack - React native for the android and ios apps, mongodb and redis for the database, nodejs for the server and aws ec2 for the hosting!
I'd love to get some feedback, or discuss some of the hacks!
- Ardy

Splash pages. Remember that crap from 20 years ago? That was a home page with some "click to enter" nonsense to get to the actual home page. Laughably stupid.

Today's empty home pages where you have to scroll down to get to any real content is exactly the same moronic pattern, just by another name: showing off useless design wankery and forcing user interaction to bypass it. Fuck you if you still do that shit.

Listen, I get you're a junior.

But please read the fucking spec I spent quite some time on writing for you before you ask me a bunch of irrelevant questions, which you know would be irrelevant IF YOU READ THE SPEC!

Trust me.

Read the spec.

It will be clear.

When you consider blocking devrant on your router so you can get some work done...

Buy a fitness tracker which reminds you after an hour of inactivity to get up.
Get up, walk around or even better climb some stairs, get back to work.

High school. The teacher in IT made some learning platform for the school in PHP. There was a module where you could upload files.

You could just upload a PHP file, and get it to run by accessing it through a direct link.

@dfox can you please implement a gang feature? Someone assigns an hashtag to some people and everytime this hashtag is called, the team members get a notif.

Adittionally, maybe you could add gang stats (how many new rants, how many times the hastag was mentioned etc...)

That moment that you get some kind of pretty critical error/bug/crash in an application in production and you can't reproduce it anymore and you're just sitting there praying that it won't happen again 😥

You know what I do when I get upset or depressed?

I put myself in bed. I guess some things from childhood don't change.

Having a tantrum? Time to go to bed.

Always get some sleep before running "rm -rf" (or anything really) in production

PS: sorry GL, couldn't resist, still love you ❤︎

When it keeps happening every time but you're too lazy to fix it because you always remember it at 7am when you want to close the computer and go get some sleep...

Ugh...

I can forgive some weirdness in generated html, but it is when generated html is combined with some plugins, and then a starting html dev who doesn't know what he's doing sprinkles some extras on top that you get frankenstein creatures like this.

When it finally works after hours or days of suffering.

Or, when you clean things up and get to delete some garbage code.

Makes it all worth it in the end

You know what... you're right. I'll go get some fresh air

Recruiter: Hi, we like your CV. Do you have a portfolio?

Me: Yeah, the links on my CV.

Recruiter: Oh nice. We'll send you an email with some job roles.

Don't get an email....

Am so happy 3 years of self teaching web and system developing I finally get a job as a web dev...

And um going to be honest with you guys I need some ++ so I can afford some of the cool stuff from builder

Just to get some motivation while you are coding😄

So...my first experience with Scrum. How many fucking energy and productivity draining meetings can you squeeze in to two weeks?!!!! Agile? Hahaha. Don't get me started! Leave me alone and let me get some work done!

Dear email marketers:

I don't owe you anything just because you bought my contact information from some sketchy company. If I was interested in your garbage sales pitch I would fucking reply! Quit nagging me for a response and go get real jobs you fucking twats!

I just realised that I've been experiencing a lot of stress and frustration over the last couple of months. I also realised that these feelings of dread and existential anxiety stem from my heavy use of Ubuntu. So I ended another agonizing 3 hours of trying-to-get-internet-access-again-so-I-can-get-some-fucking-work-done and managed to blow off some steam without causing too much property damage. Then I sat down and thought about it. And you know what? I hate Ubuntu.

With Window$ I can at least get some work done without having to write my own network drivers because the current ones do not function when the day of month is a prime number or some shit.

Sometimes you just have to kick your wife and kids out on a beautiful day so you can get some work done.

I've been taking a bunch of boot camp 'entry' type tests to do some research for the school I'm building - and these things are strange. To qualify, some of them want to make sure you can do basic algebra and others want you to be very comfortable with higher-order JS function type stuff - and then you get questions like this : /

What are some mistakes you can make as a programmer that will get you fired immediately?

If you ever get an idea for an OpenCV project: shoot yourself in the foot, drink some bleach, do whatever it takes to get it out of your head, because it will all be less painful than the python docs for cv2.

Fron the creators of "Hello", I present to you:

Please respond when you read this message
*says nothing*

It's got the uselessness of hello, minus the courtesy and respect some people have for hello. Please just get to the fucking point!

Q: What's a "muscle memory"?

A: It's when you open up devRant, skim through several posts, get bored, decide to visit some other website for more stimulation, close the tab with devRant, open a new tab and your hands type in devrant.com [ENTER] before you know it

Non IT Friend: Dude, I forgot my Windows password, can you hack into it urgently and get me the password, I have some important work to do.
Me: *pulls out gun* ...

Sorry mate 😉 can't get away with saying you use Dreamweaver and not expect some evil banter 😈 I mean it's nearly as bad as saying java is javascript

Unsavy guy calls: hey, my computer don't start.
*some testing over phone
Me: Okey it's probably the psu, give me the model so that I can get you a new one.
Him: okey, let me get a flashlight.
Me: why?
Him: It's dark here. The power is out.
Me: ...

The happiness when you get to delete some code while adding new feature 😄

So the team I work on has this giant blue alien doll, the "build break" doll. You break the production build, you get the doll until someone else breaks it. I was wondering if some of the other devs have some fun things they do with their team. ^-^

My internet went out the other day and I genuinely didn't know what to do with myself! Pacing around my apartment until it came back 2 hours later.
I think I need to get out more or at least get some friends but, you know... people.

'We are a fast paced team where you will have a lot of opportunity for growth'
Do you sponsor conference tickets?
No
Can I get some programming books?
No
Do I get chance to goto meet ups?
If you can meet the deadlines and have free time.

... How am I supposed to learn then?
STACKOVERFLOW

Tfw your work pc boots so slowly, that you have time to go to the cafeteria to get some tea and when you return it still hasnt booted.

It's amazing how bold some services are, not only do you pay for their service, e.g. amazon prime, but you also watch fucking ads before you get to watch what you pay for

Do you ever get anxious and do some work to calm down but then you forget about time and stay up until 6am finishing two features which were due in a month?

the feeling when you work 9 hours a day and you are waiting to get home to work on your own apps. getting home takes an hour. After arriving home your girlfriend (who was home whole day doing nothing) tells you that you should go to buy some stuff and we got some letters so you should go to post office as well....

"Let's go to buy Laptop for you. You're going to be Computer Engineer"

after 2 months
" What do you do all day spending on laptop?"
"Programing"
"Well, how's that work?"
"It follows some algorithms to get desired output"
"???, Some important files are accidentally deleted from my usb storage. Can you recover those files?"

😮😣

!rant

Going to the gym really helps with concentration and may give you time to focus on things that are unresolved on your codebase.

It will also make you sexy as hell. Being sexy as all hell is good and gold.

Remember that

!rant
If you have software in production please have some way for a user to find some contact email (create for this reason only if needed.)

I have run into crippling bugs in huge essential systems (state dmv new system, the ticket system utility marking) which they were oblivious to until I went out of my way, like a stalker to get some contact of someone remotely related to someone I could drop this info in the lap of, and so far it was a total shock to them (the dmv system was taken offline for 3 days to resolve)

I get not wanting to run a helpdesk to support users, but give technical users some contact info ( even if you think you have full coverage analytics because, being software, it may have a bug)

/rant

"Yesterday "
Client: ''Perfect! How did you do this do quickly? "
Me: "I used a library"
"Today "
Me: "I'm still debugging. It will take some time"
Client: "well, It has already taking too long.... I can hear Mozart in the background. Maybe you need to go to a library to get some quite and get it done fast. Visit the one you used yesterday. "

Me: "library?Ahh... I meant plug in like.... Code, a library is a bunch of packed code. "

@ Developers who don't comply to ISO 8601

I really hope you get to a really nice ice cream shop, get some amazing ice cream, only for you to trip, and fall right on top of the ice cream, ruining your favourite shirt in the process.

When you want to do some important work on your pc and turn on your pc and get the message...

Solo Android app developer here. It's 4AM where I'm working. Been working alone on a project for the last 20 days. Looking to get some inspiration and discuss new ideas with other devs.

So hi!
What's up with you? What do you do?

You have a JavaScript application. You have to keep up with stupid devs that don't know TypeScript because you don't have the time to let them study it and they get demotivated when they can't do stuff so fine, you keep it JS. You use JSDoc to write the documentation. You miss using TypeScript so you start doing some @typedef's. Oh your linter gets it and starts behaving as a substitute of TypeScript. You get excited and write more and more @typedef's! ... until they get so complicated that you start documenting *that*...

Fuck exposure!
May be you should get some exposure of how things work😒

Some people get ego boost when they get positions like team lead or manager for software development team. In a nutshell you don't know shit about programming how the fuck you became tech lead? You fucked up the entire project that you managed and now shifting blame on someone else. Well fuck you!

Why the fuck do some companies make it seem like you need them more than they need you? Also, what the fuck is with organizations who antagonize you when you make a small mistake? Do all of the good things we've done get thrown under the bus because of one mistake???? Fucking corporations!!!!!!!

At work, do you ever start with a plan for your day, get dragged into some other 'urgent' task and then into another, and your plan becomes a sweet distant memory?

Find what you want to build. Watch some videos. Code. Grab some books. Code. Find some friends to code. Code.
And learn some theory to improve your code. Code.

Get a job. Code. Get paid.

"Expenses Graph of That Time I Tried Running Kubernetes On A Cloud Service" -2019, artist unknown (colorized)

If you look closely, you can get an impression of the moment of "screw this, I'll look at it some other time".

Worst part of being a dev is that feeling that you're walking up the down escalator. Can't get ahead and if you stop, you're back where you started.

Oh and some punk kids keep passing you on the way! Lol

Like visual basic? Go for it. Scratch? Get stuck in. Like playing around with HTML/CSS/JS? Ignore anyone who laughs. Want to learn C++? Awesome!

The best thing you can do as a kid is get exposure to it, be creative, be curious, work out how to do stuff, and get stuck in. It's not the time in your life to listen to anyone who's discouraging. Then, whether you take this up longer term or not, you'll have had some fun, created some cool stuff, and have a good grasp of some basic concepts.

When you are trying to Google some Angular 4 specific shit and all you get is AngularJS related results -.-

I've concluded you can't get a job these days unless you're some fucking wizard. It's always the response: "We found better candidates than you".

I wouldn't mind a "quick project review" on devRant, where you can post your website or some images of your project and get quick reviews (suggestions) of the UI/UX.

What's your opinion on this?

I'm curious .... Devs seem to love quotes that try to give you some profound wisdom

Personally I don't care for them kind of like reading cards but id like to know if you guys have any 🤔

Mainly what you think of when you need to get things done what keeps you driven

@Android Question

Does all android devs use Async Task for their Json calls or you prefer to do them on Main Thread ?

Am just asking to improve my skills and get some senior programmers opinion

Person: "Can you speed up my computer? Don't delete anything though."
Me: "Your hard drive is at 99%... you need to get rid of some stuff."
Person: "Can't you do it with out deleting anything?"
Me: "We can move it to a cloud service..."
Person :"No, that won't work. How will get my stuff back?"
Me: "Nvm..."

Looking for some advice
Does anyone do freelance work on the side? If so how did you get the work? Whats it like freelancing?
I'm looking to try and earn some extra cash

How often do you get bored (eg. on a bus) and just code something completely stupid on your phone?
(pic is the result of some spaggeti I made on a bus today)

These commercials for the Earnin app are cancer.

"I know you don't get paid until tomorrow why are you buying [stupid shit]?"
-- what kinda psycho knows when their friends get paid?

"I'm using the Earnin app to get paid today so I can buy my dog some food."
--If your budgeting skills are so shitty that you have to rely on an app to pay you before you check, then perhaps an animal is something you don't need to have with your current financial situation.

Like Jesus Christ the situations are all illogical and make 0 sense, yet they're fucking EVERYWHERE.

When you feel like you are getting so much stuff done, that you don't want to stop!!!

Need to get some sleep though!

When you're trying to solve a problem and you're spinning your head around then you check your phone and see the co-founder of a service you love just liked your rant.

You feel like: awee!! thank you 😍

Then you get back to work with some good portion of dopamine in your head to support you

Thanks again for this service 🙏

Whatever you post, some people will still get offended. -_-

What do you guys listen to while programming? I get carried away with some progressive metal.

Fucking Huawei have stopped giving out codes for unlocking the bootloader of their devices. You can't even get one by messaging their support.

Now you can't even root Huawei phones anymore unless you pay for some very sketchy looking software.

Fuck this

You sitting at your colleagues Windows developer box, tossing some random window around while waiting for a build... and suddenly all 20+ windows get minimized.

Most useless feature ever!

Me: I'm going to a hackathon this weekend.

Parents : are you sure it's legal and you won't get into trouble? You know, it seems to involve hacking

Took some time to explain the concept of hackathons. Same happened with a lot my friends. Many of them actually go to hackathons now.

I hope I'm not alone getting the warm fuzzy feeling you get when you write some code that is beautiful. I know beautiful is a strange choice of words but I find the efficient simplicity of good code to be beautiful!

User: Apps crash, UX is shit, Customisation is shit, services take huge memory, BSOD....

Microsoft: We hear you. Here's some new icons. Next year you'll get rounded corners on windows.

Yaayyyy 😔

let's understand HTML
step 1: arrange a table
step 2: get some lemons
step 3: get a squeezer
step 4: cut the lemon in half and squeeze it
step 5: pour the lemon fluid into a glass tumbler
step 6: add some water and put a sucking straw
AND THERE YOU GO
you just understood HTML( How To Make Lemonade)

When you come home from work and try to play some throwback N64 to escape the world of code for a few hours and you get hit with this nonsense...

honestly some online courses are bullshit. i joined one for some sample code, and no comments, no explanations, the variable names WEREN'T even descriptive.

this is from a website with a published book… how about you take some fucking responsibility for your code?

the language was c++ and they are still using printf! shake my fucking head. you have global variables that are one fucking letter! please, stop, get help.

…AND IT WASN'T EVEN ON GITHUB

You know you’re fucking lonely when you’re half way through your holidays (which you HAD to take) and you’re happy to get a text that you’re needed tomorrow.
At least some calls and human interaction.
Just have to make sure to get the wine and whiskey out of my system by then 😅

Started getting into drawing to get it all out, thought some of you might find this humorous, given our strange nature.

Same rules apply as other social media. If this upsets you, insert a tampon and jog on.

A lot of people have some very unrealistic expectations when it comes to cheap technology. You just can not expect to pay bottom price and get high quality results at the same time...

I know that you two guys don't get together well. Shall we(the management team) send you guys for some team bonding training sessions? Whatttt?? 🙄🙄🙄

That moment when you want to ask a question on SO but some people asked a similar question yet they didn't get the answer you are looking for but you don't want to get shouted at for reposting so you don't post to SO and go to Reddit instead...

In french the world fish means "poisson". Not to be confused with a "boisson" (beverage), nor with the "poison" (poison).

But you could have fish beverage, which would be a "boisson de poisson". And some fish are poisonous, which would make it "poisson poison". Now let's take some poisonous fish, like some fugu, and turn it into a soup. You get a poisonous fish beverage, so "une boisson de poisson poison".

It also follows the poisson distribution

"You broke the build"

o.O

Me checking the build.

Oh. There's a weird 500 from github.

Oh yeah:

Error 503 first byte timeout

on the package.json of some node dependency.

That's what you get for relying on the cloud.

1. God Complex

2. You can get things done with little effort. ( script or program that does personal computer chores for me, etc..)

3. Lots of $$$ opportunities if you are able to get some clients.

some people literally want you to do all the work for them

then complain when you don't do it for them

i'm sure they'll get far in life

🤡

Close all internet shops tabs, find yourself a nice chill music like Erykah Badu or some ASMR record, measure your time (I use toggl) and have your tasks for today well planned. And set yourself deadlines. Short deadlines. When you fail to fit in one, you get to punish yourself in a mild way. When you do your tasks on time you get candy :D or some other shit like a good coffee or go out somewhere

What's That dread & shameful feeling when you get praised for some shit you know is awful called..?

I tried to get this trainwreck of a middleware running again. Generations of imbecile devs turned this once ambitious project into a dumpster fire. I had some feeble hopes. Wrote a little framework to get this braindead architecture back on its track. BUT EVERY PULL REQUEST I GET TO REVIEW SHOWS THEY DON'T CARE. FML! Why am I even trying. I should have known these morons just want to pour gasoline onto an already blazingly burning software. GODDAMMIT SHOW SOME ENGINEERING SPIRIT. Why are you even in this industry in the first place?

Just implemented a feature using Builder pattern .
State of mind : aaaghh fuck this shit , i am in hell . let's get some rest before integrating and testing this disaster

after some rest , while integrating " Oh you beauty my past self, i love you😍😍😍😍

We had some PR’s this morning. Colleage rewrote an app. Restructured everything. Broke some things. Not a single comment and merged to master.

I get questions like: WhY dO yOu PuT a BuTtOnPrEsS aNd A mOuSeCliCk HeRe?

FOR ACCESSIBILITY ASSHOLE!!! SOMETHING YOU OBVIOUSLY NEVER HEARD OF!!!

1. Kill Internet Explorer
2. Kill anyone who sell their web/app/design services cheaply that broke the market value
3. Kill anyone who want something in exchange of "exposure" or "you'll get the money when we get funding or IPO" or some shit like that, you name it.

The documentation for the matplotlib python library is terrible for newbies.

There is a "Tutorial" section, but the thing doesn't even explain what you can do until you get to the 4th section!
It starts off with some confusing examples, how to change the appearance and only at section 4 do you actually start to get an introduction to the different components you might want to use...

At some point you finally realize, most of the stuff that is shown can be omitted because the .pyplot module is all you need.

Had a feedback meeting with one of my senior devs today, it went really well and allowed me to get a new view on some things, like some common behavior patterns I do. Really happy about it :3 If you didn't have something like this yet, go for it, it's definitely worth the time ^^

You know it's time to get some sleep when your coffee starts making weird unexplainable hissing noises.
Everyone in the offices ended up looking at me why I was holding a cup next to my ear...

Don't you love writing a novel, get to a section introducing some of the higher up main characters and you can only remember 3 of the 8 names... Yeah me too 😃🔫

You wanna know if you are a real developer?
Google "string" and see if you get as first result underwear or not.
Try "DD" and see if you get again some underwear results or a ubuntu wiki article about "the great data destroyer" ;)

Light theme + inverted colors = devRant supporter dark theme. Also, when you browse through Android in this mode, you can get some design inspiration.

Do you sometimes get into the mindset of considering the GitLab Contributors tab as some sort of scoreboard?

Utterly nonsensical of course, but I feel a youth full of videogames has somewhat trained me in that regard.

After an important meeting where you actually get to give feedback and share some of your ideas for new features or bug fixes, one of the managers sends a follow-up email to the team telling you to get features done, like they were his suggestions.

Manager “I'd like you to work on.... “

Me "Right, that's what I wanted to work on... "

That great feeling you get when your teacher asks you some things about RegEx and you know fucking everything!

Just started working as a junior developer, since we new junior developers started the hot chocolate is always unavailable in our building so you have to go to a different building to get it, is it some kind of way to get us to switch to coffee?

Ayyyyy folks
I'm looking for some beta testers. Preferably if you use a MQTT broker with some IoT connected shit.
Bonus points for IFTTT.
Leave something in the comments if you're interested and I'll get in touch if the time has come

Anyone else ever get into such a groove that you solve a problem that you thought would take three days, remove all major bugs, get to a step you thought would take you a week to reach, and then spend 30 minutes looking for bugs because there has to be some. That's too much progress in a day to not have any bugs

All because you put your headphones In today instead of just listening to the science of a lab area

Code review with some people is emotionally draining. How do you keep encouraging someone to get better without being a dick when the improvement isn't there?

Right...

So some asshole just tried to charge me 200 euro paid to Plugin Media Group A.G.

Couldn't get pass 3ds but still...

If you have made an order with OnePlus cancel your card. Today

Please don't get triggered by stupid little things on the internet, just shutdown your internet device and go outside and get some fresh air

I've read some answers on forums on the internet and some people that answer ends up making another problem, because the user said something or whatever

If you want to help, then follow these rules:

1) Read the problem that the user has
2) Read what they have tried to fix it
3) If you know about that problem then answer it
4) If you don't know... just move on

Just learn to shut the fuck up!

Me: ok so let's be producing tonight, work on some new systems and maybe some of my book..

Brain: *no you won't, you'll get drunk, get annoyed and shelf another project like the millions you have and will forget about your book...*

Me: ...

Brain: *exactly what I thought, now sit down and be a good little Dev*

Even my own brain hates me haha

Do u all have a coworker that makes you astonished and baffled how they possibly got some poor sucker to get married to them?

1. Attend some conference
2. Get Stickers and goodies
3. Now you remember you have stickers all over your laptop
4. Give it away to your friends
5. Behave like Buddha

Day 7 of devWholesome...

Happy November guys! It's a new month which means new goals! Set some goals for this month that you want to get done. See how much you get done this month. Mark your calendars for deadlines of things you want to get finished. Don't forget to keep up with the work you already have. Comment below what your goals are this month! And as always make the most of your day!

Man, you start doing computer graphics you really get an appreciation for nature

Like "got dayum, god got some good ass graphics, no way I can compete with that"

How do you guys and gals combat RSI? Starting to get pains in my forearms... After a day of coding when I get home I have to prop the right hand side of my keyboard up to game as it gets rid of some of the discomfort...

I was assigned a task to troubleshoot some buggy code. I am a developer and I don’t know how to get started. Does anyone else experience this kind of anxiety? Where you’re asked to apply your skills and suddenly your brain just shuts down and you feel like you know exactly nothing? I’m older than most coders in my field. Onset of some kind of brain disorder?

Our help desk person set up our software in a virtual machine on some cloud provider and you know how they give you a drive labeled temporary with a text file in warning you how the files will get deleted? Well for some reason they put the database files on that drive.

Luckily the server was for a small internal project and restarted a few days in so the users didn't loose too much work.

!rant

How did you all get into development? I've heard some pretty non-linear career trajectories from friends of mine, but I'm not sure if that's normative for developers as a whole. Your thoughts?

I'm cross-compiling software I create for many years. Ignoring languages targeting some kind of VM, some additional efforts were always needed.

Go (as far as I can see, since 1.5) is doing this right and quite straightforward - select target and architecture, issue build command and you get native executable file. I'm happy ... B)

I'm fear this day might come to Software too. You buy a *full* licence for Windows Pro and you get the ServicePack2, because the Windows and SP1 cannot be [for some reason; legally?] used in your area.

What the f...

You know it's one of those days when you're scouring through vendor code in order to figure out why your code isn't working

Time to get some coffee

Is there some basic guide to privacy for (android) phones?

Like where you flash some secure ROM, get timely updates , no gapps or privacy threatening app, use secure services and alternatives mainstream ones, and use foss s/w.. And something like fdroid instead of playstore store or something..

Ignore the badly framed idea, but you get my point..

You little fuck.......

I ask you how to get my access to some system and I get attacked with how did I dare to report issues to you my colleague was having w/o having my own acc...

This is the first time I have played the victim card in my life. Let's see how that works out.

P.S. it's a massive CORP so I expect some some wasp-nest-poked effect.

I don't have time for side projects so i share all my ideas on dev.to. 🎉

I hope some of you will get some inspiration and make millions 😂

Feedback is welcome!

!dev

I have a homies problem. Where do you get yourself some homies?

If you start to get frustrated, take a break. Your brain has two modes of thinking: focused & diffuse. You can only utilize focused mode for a short time, and sometimes it's harder to look at the broader picture. Go take a walk, do some push-ups, or check devRant. You diffuse mode will make some connections when you're not even trying once you relax a little bit.

Well played Alexanderr. If only, you stopped wasting time and put some aside to improve yourselves but no, you'd rather keep crying for me.

Well then, do as you please. And get rekt.

You ever get that experience when you drink some water and the colors become brighter, the room expands in size and your future suddenly seems simple and straightforward?

You get to build some cool stuff.

That feeling when you really wanted to get the most of your travel time and do some programming. Access denied I guess?!

The moment you get the internship in big companies and after some days after working there you realize, it's not worth.

While people are scared that 1 day our society might get overthrown by robots, I don't worry about that because no matter how hard you try you will always have some bugs

Git is way too complicated, but even then I still get painfully annoyed when someone needs assistance with using it. Especially when they're using some GUI I don't know. You mean this thing can't rebase??

What are some things, as a dev or whatever you want a classify yourself as, use to get rid of stress?

If you are posting a job and you decide to force candidates to create an account on some third party website just to submit a resume, I hope you only get the least qualified people.

When you find some interesting code on the internet so you copy paste it but it gives you like 20 error messages and your whole project file get corrupted so you got to remove the whole project file and start over

Just learnt that some people in the access admin team intentionally back log their tickets just to tell people how busy they are.

But most request you raise in their queue doesn't get resolved unless you show up at their desks.

Somedays you stop the Internet from crashing in a rubble of new features; and some days you just barely get by and be happy.

Its FRIDAY and soon to have weekend!! Lets get such a healing weekend by having some stretches even you can go jogging or gym. Have a healthy food, watching movie, go dating (if you have one) and get sleeping time enough. You have to live in your good life !!

Haskell is so funny like if you ask a function for some pizza, you get a bunch of pizza boxes back, and then when you want to put topping on the pizza you're like "hey can i like actually have the pizza now?", and then you realise you can't actually change the pizza so you make copies of them with the topping on.

I have lost all motivation for coding.....I have my pet projects pending. During this lockdown i decided to get work done, but for some reason i just can't get my ass working and keep wasting time.

How do you guys keep yourself motivated?

"Senior men have no monopoly on great ideas. Nor do creative people. Some of the best ideas come from account executives, researchers and others. Encourage this, you need all the ideas you can get." - David Ogilvy

What do you recommend watching to get some programming entertainment and being a bit educational?

If I login to some account, log out, and then log in through some other account, I still get push notifications for logged out account.

It doesn't unregister device for push notifications, you need to uninstall to get rid of it.

So our webserver teacher have been throwing around the idea that before installing anything on a Ubuntu Sever, you should run apt-get update (yes you should)

But, he also instructed everyone to run apt-get upgrade as well (in case some dependencies need to be updated)

Now for fucks sake:::::
1) apt will automatically sort out dependencies when you install a new program
2) you never ever efffing fucking wanna run apt-get upgrade on a live server. I'm not a sysadmin, but this seems like a really fucking bad idea, right?

Navigating the realms of the mighty corporation. Sometimes in a completely different country quite some many times now.

It is not that cool.

Some people you meet are cool. But, some people I met previously was also cool. And they were my friends at work!

You get tired of all the transports.

And you always wants to go home.

Hotels are terrible places.

Finding where to go is now ten percent of your work day.

Family is missing me while I am gone. I miss them back. Video phone stuff helps alot.

And I don’t even travel a lot or very far (usually).

It’s monkey business.

I have become a corporate monkey.

I got to get out of this…

You know you are screwed when you get a webpack error like "Module build failed" Babel cannot find module @babel-plugin-some-nonesense" & gyp module build failed because of fucked C++ node versions, go find the right node for you & you better start the project webpack config and .babelrc from scratch because you ain't getting anywhere with these errors.

Any Linux system admin here? Or any profession related to Linux? Want to share things with you. Also get some knowledge from small talks.

As a developer, how important to you that you have the choice of tools/platforms to do your job?

I've worked on some companies that don't give a damn as long as you get the job done, while some frown upon it because they haven't tried anything other than what they have and are skeptical. Some are completely locked because their products are platform specific so it makes sense for dev to work on the same platform.

Thoughts?

Monday morning
Get to work
Open email
Ci went crazy
Slack is on fire
Some npm modules deprecated approach
Rewrite docker files
Some other npm modules disappeared.

I hate you web technologies, I hate you developers who make releases Friday night.

I hate everything.

Ffs on the weekend just build Ikea fornitures instead of fiddling with my stack!

Sigh.