Client support ticket: we printed the ID cards without leading 0’s can you fix it with software?
Me: unfortunately we cannot because the ID number can be any length. ID 123, 0123 and 00123 can exist. What barcode would 123 go to?
Client: this is ridiculous we will cancel our contract.
Me: i’m sorry we can’t correct for a mistake on your end.
(Side note: I know allowing 0123 and 00123 is dumb but my team didn’t design the business logic)

-During the brief moment stack overflow was down today-
Boss: “can you look up how to do this?
Me: “stack overflow is down”
Boss: “well shit I guess you can go home”

Our parent company wouldn’t give us DB login credentials to a customer server outside our territory... we tried the default username and password and it worked...

So the head developer at my company quit, and I was chosen to replace him. I haven’t even graduated college yet and am already leading development at a company with over a million active users. Is this real life?

A client’s server crashed so they called us. When we checked the logs we found a user was logged in 200,000+ times. We told them the user and a few minutes later we get a picture of a cupcake that was on the enter key. They got cupcake DOS attacked. My team isn’t in charge of the login functionality but I can say the team that is got a fairly aggressive internal support ticket.