Boss: We need you to configure our Apache Tomcat server for SSL.

Me: Okay, what version of Tomcat is installed?

Boss: 5.5.20

Me:

!rant

Out of all the Easter eggs you put in your code, which is your favorite?

I resolved a list of bugs and no new problems came up in testing.

So why am I so scared?

!rant

I just found out that if you have a list of lists in C#, you can use a LINQ statement and specify indices inside the lambda instead of nested ForEaches.

This code is giving me the vapors

!rant

I just figured out you can double tap rants to give them a ++.

Work email conversation with a COTS app support tech:

Tech: Could you provide me the following from Sql Server? (instructions followed)

Me: I am not the DBA, but I've sent them the request.

Tech: Could you send me the following from Sql Server while we wait? (Instructions followed)

Me: As I said, I don't have permissions to access what you want.

Tech: Oh, I see now, you most likely don't have proper access to be able to retrieve the information.

Me: ..yeah. Thanks.

On a good day for me as an SE, the ratio of solving problems to causing problems is close to 1:1

Me: "I got the job! I write computer programs now!"

Mom: "I'm so proud of you, -bgm-. Does that mean you can come over and take a look at my computer now? The speakers, whenever I go on Facebook, they make this popping noise--"

Me: "Gotta go, ma."

I am so off my game today that I accidentally rewrote the String.IfNullOrWhiteSpace extension method in C# because I forgot it existed.

My extension had a better name tho: String.IfItAintNoThang

Everybody leaves me alone until I'm pseudocoding an algorithm to solve a tough problem and need to keep my train of thought. Then suddenly everybody needs me.

:: *joins devRant to rant about everything*

:: *everything I want to complain about is on the front page*

:: *sighs in relief*