Boss emailed me that I need to work again on Saturday and Sunday.
I replied with a resignation letter.

First day at work:
To install IDE - raise a ticket.
To get access to source control - raise a ticket.
To get access to bug tracker - raise a ticket.
To raise a ticket, I need first to connect to the intranet, but to do that, I need to raise a ticket.
AND even before that, I need a username to login to my laptop, raising a ticket is also required.
WTF?!!!

You know who sucks at developing APIs?

Facebook.

I mean, how are so high paid guys with so great ideas manage to come up with apis THAT shitty?

Let's have a look. They took MVC and invented flux. It was so complicated that there were so many overhyped articles that stated "Flux is just X", "Flux is just Y", and exactly when Redux comes to the stage, flux is forgotten. Nobody uses it anymore.

They took declarative cursors and created Relay, but again, Apollo GraphQL comes and relay just goes away. When i tried just to get started with relay, it seemed so complicated that i just closed the tab. I mean, i get the idea, it's simple yet brilliant, but the api...

Immutable.js. Shitload of fuck. Explain WHY should i mess with shit like getIn(path: Iterable<string | number>): any and class List<T> { push(value: T): this }? Clojurescript offers Om, the React wrapper that works about three times faster! How is it even possible? Clojure's immutable data structures! They're even opensourced as standalone library, Mori js, and api is great! Just use it! Why reinvent the wheel?

It seems like when i just need to develop a simple react app, i should configure webpack (huge fuckload of work by itself) to get hot reload, modern es and jsx to work, then add redux, redux-saga, redux-thunk, react-redux and immutable.js, and if i just want my simple component to communicate with state, i need to define a component, a container, fucking mapStateToProps and mapDispatchToProps, and that's all just for "hello world" to pop out. And make sure you didn't forget to type that this.handler = this.handler.bind(this) for every handler function. Or use ev closure fucked up hack that requires just a bit more webpack tweaks. We haven't even started to communicate to the server! Fuck!

I bet there is savage ass overengineer sitting there at facebook, and he of course knows everything about how good api should look, and he also has huge ass ego and he just allowed to ban everything that he doesn't like. And he just bans everything with good simple api because it "isn't flexible enough".

"React is heavier than preact because we offer isomorphic multiple rendering targets", oh, how hard want i to slap your face, you fuckface. You know what i offered your mom and she agreed?

They even created create-react-app, but state management is still up to you. And react-boierplate is just too complicated.

When i need web app, i type "lein new re-frame", then "lein dev", and boom, live reload server started. No config. Every action is just (dispatch) away, works from any component. State subscription? (subscribe). Isolated side-effects? (reg-fx). Organize files as you want. File size? Around 30k, maybe 60 if you use some clojure libs.

If you don't care about massive market support, just use hyperapp. It's way simpler.

Dear developers, PLEASE, don't forget about api. Take it serious, it's very important. You may even design api first, and only then implement the actual logic. That's even better.

And facebook, sincerelly,

Fuck you.

Our project is a legacy of all legacy projects. The developers imported the third-party libraries by copy-pasting the whole source codes into the project. Ohhhh yeahhh!!!

Who else here hates coding in a f*cking Remote Desktop with a f*cking 3-second delay?

Catching a NullPointerException so that it can cause another NullPointerException to the caller. 🤯

Shout out to our HR manager who doesn't accept sick leaves if it's "just a migraine" or "just a stomach ache"

First day of work,
team lead asked me to study and read the source code.
Opened one file...

POSTMORTEM

"4096 bit ~ 96 hours is what he said.

IDK why, but when he took the challenge, he posted that it'd take 36 hours"

As @cbsa wrote, and nitwhiz wrote "but the statement was that op's i3 did it in 11 hours. So there must be a result already, which can be verified?"

I added time because I was in the middle of a port involving ArbFloat so I could get arbitrary precision. I had a crude desmos graph doing projections on what I'd already factored in order to get an idea of how long it'd take to do larger
bit lengths

@p100sch speculated on the walked back time, and overstating the rig capabilities. Instead I spent a lot of time trying to get it 'just-so'.
Worse, because I had to resort to "Decimal" in python (and am currently experimenting with the same in Julia), both of which are immutable types, the GC was taking > 25% of the cpu time.

Performancewise, the numbers I cited in the actual thread, as of this time:
largest product factored was 32bit, 1855526741 * 2163967087, took 1116.111s in python.
Julia build used a slightly different method, & managed to factor a 27 bit number, 103147223 * 88789957 in 20.9s,
but this wasn't typical.

What surprised me was the variability. One bit length could take 100s or a couple thousand seconds even, and a product that was 1-2 bits longer could return a result in under a minute, sometimes in seconds.

This started cropping up, ironically, right after I posted the thread, whats a man to do?

So I started trying a bunch of things, some of which worked. Shameless as I am, I accepted the challenge. Things weren't perfect but it was going well enough. At that point I hadn't slept in 30~ hours so when I thought I had it I let it run and went to bed. 5 AM comes, I check the program. Still calculating, and way overshot. Fuuuuuuccc...
So here we are now and it's say to safe the worlds not gonna burn if I explain it seeing as it doesn't work, or at least only some of the time.

Others people, much smarter than me, mentioned it may be a means of finding more secure pairs, and maybe so, I'm not familiar enough to know.

For everyone that followed, commented, those who contributed, even the doubters who kept a sanity check on this without whom this would have been an even bigger embarassement, and the people with their pins and tactical dots, thanks.

So here it is.
A few assumptions first.
Assuming p = the product,
a = some prime,
b = another prime,
and r = a/b (where a is smaller than b)
w = 1/sqrt(p)
(also experimented with w = 1/sqrt(p)*2 but I kept overshooting my a very small margin)

x = a/p
y = b/p

1. for every two numbers, there is a ratio (r) that you can search for among the decimals, starting at 1.0, counting down. You can use this to find the original factors e.x. p*r=n, p/n=m (assuming the product has only two factors), instead of having to do a sieve.

2. You don't need the first number you find to be the precise value of a factor (we're doing floating point math), a large subset of decimal values for the value of a or b will naturally 'fall' into the value of a (or b) + some fractional number, which is lost. Some of you will object, "But if thats wrong, your result will be wrong!" but hear me out.

3. You round for the first factor 'found', and from there, you take the result and do p/a to get b. If 'a' is actually a factor of p, then mod(b, 1) == 0, and then naturally, a*b SHOULD equal p.
If not, you throw out both numbers, rinse and repeat.

Now I knew this this could be faster. Realized the finer the representation, the less important the fractional digits further right in the number were, it was just a matter of how much precision I could AFFORD to lose and still get an accurate result for r*p=a.

Fast forward, lot of experimentation, was hitting a lot of worst case time complexities, where the most significant digits had a bunch of zeroes in front of them so starting at 1.0 was a no go in many situations. Started looking and realized
I didn't NEED the ratio of a/b, I just needed the ratio of a to p.

Intuitively it made sense, but starting at 1.0 was blowing up the calculation time, and this made it so much worse.

I realized if I could start at r=1/sqrt(p) instead, and that because of certain properties, the fractional result of this, r, would ALWAYS be 1. close to one of the factors fractional value of n/p, and 2. it looked like it was guaranteed that r=1/sqrt(p) would ALWAYS be less than at least one of the primes, putting a bound on worst case.

The final result in executable pseudo code (python lol) looks something like the above variables plus

while w >= 0.0:
if (p / round(w*p)) % 1 == 0:
x = round(w*p)
y = p / round(w*p)
if x*y == p:
print("factors found!")
print(x)
print(y)
break
w = w + i

Still working but if anyone sees obvious problems I'd LOVE to hear about it.

I'm working on a programming language with a "bytecode" interpreter and a compiler that translates source code to said bytecode and... it sort of actually works!

I want to recreate an Erlang-style environment, currently you can write functions, call C++ functions via wrappers, have immutable-only values, and it has no explicit control structure apart from statement sequencing and the if-expression because I want to make it as functional as possible. Next thing on the list is to add a green threads implementation and ability to spawn and send messages to processes.

Still a WIP and heck even design-in-progress.

Now for the rant:
I'm using CMake for building C++ (interpreter) and Stack for Haskell (compiler) and I've been trying to get them to talk to each other for hours because I want CMake to manage the Stack build too and shove all the executables into one place. CMake documentation is weird and Stack isn't too helpful either, so I guess I'll just spend another few hours trying to get Stack to fuckin reveal its build directory to CMake and/or build to a given directory. Ugh.

I can't get a job because I don't have experience because I can't get a job because I don't have experience because I can't get a job because THEY WANNA HIRE A JUNIOR ROCKSTAR CODER WITH 10 YEARS EXPERIENCE IN ANGULAR

Me: *gives 8 story points*
PO: Why is it 8 points? this is just copy-pasting and should not take more than 2 hours.

This goddemn telephone keeps on ringing like I will never have peace of mind ever! I couldn't even write 10 lines of code straight. 😤

Reviewer1 asked me to change something in my code. Reviewer2 asked me to revert the changes I made for Reviewer1. I hate this industry </3

Ten Immutable Laws Of Security

Law #1: If a bad guy can persuade you to run his program on your computer, it's not solely your computer anymore.
Law #2: If a bad guy can alter the operating system on your computer, it's not your computer anymore.
Law #3: If a bad guy has unrestricted physical access to your computer, it's not your computer anymore.
Law #4: If you allow a bad guy to run active content in your website, it's not your website any more.
Law #5: Weak passwords trump strong security.
Law #6: A computer is only as secure as the administrator is trustworthy.
Law #7: Encrypted data is only as secure as its decryption key.
Law #8: An out-of-date antimalware scanner is only marginally better than no scanner at all.
Law #9: Absolute anonymity isn't practically achievable, online or offline.
Law #10: Technology is not a panacea.

I'm someone who' s productive so I get things done earlier than expected, so then I get time to rest. However, when the managers see me resting, they always think that I'm "not doing my job" or "idle" or "doing nothing" so they always ask me "what are you doing?" or "you've got things to do?".
From now on I will just pretend that every f*cking easy task is worth 1 week to do.

Me: Decentralized, Transparent, Immutable, Trustless ...
Host: Please give a big round of applause for Blockchain industry expert!

Soooo it's the first day of sprint. I have tasks A, B and C.
Here's my manager again telling me:

"It's just A ,why are you taking time."
"It's just B ,why are you taking time."
"It's just C ,why are you taking time."

Structure: decades of programming in too many languages to enumerate. I lean functional, but only when the language doesn't fight it. No matter what I'm doing, my code is immutable in practice, if not paradigm.

Syntax: No one thing in particular. I code differently depending on the language.

When I start learning a language, I'll find the standard style checker and create a project where I write an example of every single rule.

The end result is generally a quick intro to the language and a bonus understanding of the hot sports opinion in said language. I call this an ocean boiler.

I lean heavily into autoformatting because I've worked on too many projects to care, and I have a general expectation that something which is important enough to make a code standard is important enough to be enforced in tooling. I'd rather spend my time solving problems that thinking about stylistics.

Shout out to the people who take someone else's office chair. I just went for a toilet break then *poof* someone took it.

This is literally me! I'm handling multiple projects with overlapping timelines. Pressure comes from all directions!

There are 20 of us in the whole team. Each of us are entitled to 1 month of leave/year. Then here's the manager telling us that there should be no overlapping dates of leave vacations. FU!!

My company's logic:

If your account gets locked, you need to raise a ticket using the company portal. In order to access the portal, you need to enter your credentials.

My manager is a "Yes" man, he says "yes" although we don't actually have the capacity.
Here I am now cramming with 5 simultaneous projects. :(

"In programming mutable state is evil. In future programming we need to avoid mutable state because we will throw cores at our code which will work on it in parallel."

debate.init();

I'm tired of this PC access rights restriction in my company. My desktop is cluttered now with application shortcuts, and deleting them require admin rights. Are you F**ing kidding me? 😤

My best source of motivation is bad software. The feeling of "I can do better" gives me an immutable energy to actually do better.

boss: I sent you a wsdl file.

me: I saw it. But you sent me a json for a rest api request.

boss: You want me to teach you what a wsdl is?

I am a software developer. My boss has given me a task now to crack a certain software. 😥

I hate it whenever I'm joining a new company/client. It takes them days to provide me access card so I need to f*ckin knock on the door everytime I come back from pooping.

My team's "Scrum" daily stand-up meeting lasts for 1 hour. We spend the first 30 minutes listening to the Product Owner's "updates"

While reviewing a PR from one of our newer FE devs, I ended up spending more time than I would like mulling over its composition. The work was acceptable for the most part; the code worked. The part that got me was the heavy usage of options objects.

When encountering the options object pattern (or anti-pattern, at times) in complex scenarios, I have to resist the urge to stop whatever I'm doing and convert it to the builder pattern/smack them in the head with a software design manual. As much as I would like to, code janitor is one of the least valuable activities I engage in daily, and consistently telling someone to go back to the drawing board for work that is functional, but not excellent is a great way to kill morale. Usually, I'll add a note on the PR, approve it, add a brown bag or two on that sort of thing, and make attendance mandatory for repeat slackers. Skills building and catharsis all rolled up in a tiny ball of investing in your people.

Builders make things so much cleaner; they inform users what actions are available in a context; they tend to be immutable, and when done well, provide an intuitive fluent interface for configuration that removes the guesswork. As a bonus, they're naturally compositional, so you can pass it around and accumulate data and only execute the heavy lifting bits when you need to. As a bonus, with typescript, the boilerplate is generally reduced as well, even without any code generation. And they're not just a dumping ground for whatever shit someone was too lazy to figure out how to integrate into the API neatly.

They're more work in js-land, sure; you can't annotate @builder like with Lombok, but they're generally not all that much work and friendlier to use.

Working in a bank, using MIcrosoft platform:

To open my email, I need to enter my password and sms OTP.

To open my email using phone, I need to enter my password and sms OTP.

To open Teams, I need to enter my password and sms OTP.

To open Teams using phone, I need to enter my password and sms OTP.

To access Microsoft Azure, I need to enter my password and sms OTP.

To git pull/push, I need to enter my sms OTP.

To check UAT logs, I need to enter my sms OTP.

To get access to UAT DB, I need to connect to VPN, which then asks for OTP.

Did I also mention that I need to do these OTPs every single fucking day?

#OTPDrivenDevelopment

12am, my phone rang. I knew what it meant. 😭

My tech lead (or senior). I had been unmotivated with my dev life until I joined their team. He lit the fire in me by inspiring me and challenging me with my work. Sadly he left the team after 3 months but I'm thankful because he saved me from burn out.

Been working 25 hours straight at the time of this post. Kill me now :(

Strings in most languages:
(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ foo: string = "bar"

Strings in rust:
(╯‵□′)╯︵ AHHHHHHH!
borrowed value does not live long enough
types differ in mutability
cannot assign twice to immutable variable

A gigantic codebase of several tens of millions of loc [prolly hundreds of mill's as we don't see all of it] in java EE.

Very complex business logic where bells have their own whistles with their own bells with .... You get it.

Very fine-tuned performance to make app so performant that the only bottleneck becomes the db. The beefiest rds instance becomes too laggy [orm, so sqls are immutable]

Client moves to rewrite the whole thing in PHP. Motivation: lower TTM

:facepalm:

Our stand-up meetings last for 1 hour. Everybody talks for 5+ minutes so they will seem look "productive" in front of the managers.

No one among my teammates are testing their code.

Always do your best to make your variable as immutable as you can!

A typical bouba coder:
- thinks a kilobyte contains 1024 bytes
- thinks Object.assign clones an object
- codes in react.js, thinks he knows reactive programming
- “amd is better for games, intel is better for work”
- thinks that the main advantage of ssh is that you don’t need to enter your password manually
- watches porn in incognito mode
- “crapple”
- “uhm, is it immutable?”
- thinks “persistent” means saved to local storage
- thinks designer is an inferior job because “they only draw shapes”
- thinks good accessibility is when the tab key works
- “All non-mechanical keyboards are trash”
- “C is outdated and nobody uses it anymore”
- “Zuck quit uni and now he’s a billionaire, everybody should quit”
- thinks “pointer” is a shape of the cursor

We have a production release tomorrow and we didn't have any kind of testing other than the unit tests we wrote. 💣💥🤯🎆

I have an interface implemented by 11 classes, coz u kno, it's "SOLID". But today i felt my life is a lie when a developer refactored my code and deleted all those classes and placed them in a Utils class with static methods, and slapped me with "Let's make it simple".

Oh please it's weekend. Don't call me or message me, especially if it's not urgent 😡 My contract doesn't include selling my soul.

By constantly fucking around with things that interest me. If a topic fascinates me i will either lool for shit around youtube, read proper documentacion or buy specialized books for it.

Most recently it has been compiler design. I wanna write my own language, for testing and learning more than anything.

I dunno, it keeps shit fun and interesting. Now, much of that shit ain't applied to what I do in web. But it does help to keep the mind fresh as well as giving me the chance to eventually invent my own language. Write a large system with it, use it at the institution and have them pay me obscene ammounts of money to maintain it.

It will be like VB6 or VbScript, but with {}s, immutable values by default and no looping, cuz I am evil AF

Yayyyyyy tonight we have a production release, and right now I'm still doing last minute coding 🤗

Searching in Youtube "Upcoming Phones 2020" gives me "Top 10 upcoming phones in India"

*Clicks one english title without the word "India"

*Hears voice over in Hindi.

why oh why.

The "unit" in unit test does not mean your ENTIRE APPLICATION. Ever heard of scope!?

I am amazed how often people write overblown test setups, mock hundreds of unrelated services, just to test one tiny bit of logic.

That bit of logic could have been a pure function.

For that pure function you could write a dead simple unit test. Given that input, I expect that output. Nothing more, nothing less. (It helps even more if the pure functions only accepts primitives, like string and numbers, or very simple immutable value objects).

No I don't care that the service is used by another service, as your mocked interaction also doesn't test the service as a whole but you just assume the happy case most of the time anyway. You want to test the entire application? Let's not use unit tests for that but let's use a different kind of test for that (integration test, functional tests, e2e-tests).

If you write code in a way that easily allows for unit testing, your need to mock goes away.

This is cool

Core library was giving serious blow out of execution speed as data file size increased.

Traced it back to a GetHashCode implementation that was giving too many collisions for unequal objects, so when used as the key in a hash table it was causing the lookup to fall back to checking Equals (much slower).

Improved the GetHashCode implementation, and also precalculated it on construction (they were immutable objects), and run time went to warp speed! Was very happy with that.

Obviously put in a thread sleep to help manage expectations with the boss/clients going forwards. Can’t give those sort of gains away in one go. Sets a dangerous precedent.

"Senior developer" blaming me because he's not able to remember the codes anymore because I refactored it.

GET OUTTA MY FACE YOU WERE THE CODE REVIEWER

Last 4 days, struggling to get ship it from a Dev who is reviewing my code.

The comments have already piled up more than the LOC submitted.

The code review consists of just 2 interfaces and a pojo. Hardly 20 LOC in total, excluding javadocs.

I hope it gets ship it soon.
Wish me luck.

That guy who comments about everything, even the scratches on my laptop.

I kinda feel at home here in devRant because I'm someone who enjoys complaining just for the sake of complaining.

Do you guys have tips for job hunting while still employed? My current company doesn't allow sick leaves without medical certificates and doesn't allow simple "headaches". How do you guys make time for interviews?

!rant

so the other day i was programming and suddenly i wanted to learn haskell. (i don't know why it hit me so suddenly, maybe because it's a 'pure' functional programming language and these 2 terms i knew nothing about)

and to be honest it's really hard coming from an imperative programming language (C/C++, yes, i know they are different in their ways). it's like learning to program again! you really have to get a different mindset and for me honestly it's hard to grasp the idea that 'variables' are immutable! like, that's soooo weird it still stucks to me. for example how did they define the max or min function without using a while loop? what are monads?

I am just 2 days in but it'll be a fun ride!

Meetings are exhausting. My manager forces us to attend meetings which consumes 60% of my day. One day, he sent a meeting invite and the agenda was to talk about meetings. So it was a meeting about meetings. Meeting-ception 🤯

We have a an existing legacy project full of sh*t. I am developing now an additional feature. What will you do if the one who will review your code is the one who developed this legacy project in the first place? @@#&#-$

We have a web application that will be deployed to the client premises. Part of the agreement is that the full source code will be provided. Now my manager asked me to hide/restrict the usage of a certain feature, and should not be hackable even if we give the full source code. Gosh help me guys, I don't know what I'm doing here.

My love for you I can't describe it,
so I dont't even try and hide it.
Dev. you are my one true passion
you are always there to teach me a new lesson.
Some missing semicolon;
I have searched for you soo long.
Or was it a wrong indent,
ah f**k it was the missing increment.
Thinking through endless loops
in while, for and even do form,
just that my programs do a little better perform.
You give me the possibility to express myself as who I am and who I want to be,
in so many languages, from java, JS, GO, python and even C.
You give me bugs and issues that I track,
from motivation for you I never lack.
There are projects out there, where I contribute to
oh what a beauty are you.
And now you even bring fun into my life
with devrant, I now know how to survive.
How to survive client meetings and non devs around me,
oh how much stupidity I there see.
Let's exit this small programm of mine, this so called rime,
where I an immutable statement define:

I think about you even when we are not together,
My dearest DEV I will love you forever.

A new project kicked off, where a new feature will be added to our app. The mythical creature called "Project Manager" asked us to take OT's and weekend work to rush and finish it. Aaaare you f*ckin' kiddin' meeee??!

A new team member joined us today. After introduction, he grabbed a chair. F*** YOU, IT'S JUST YOUR FIRST DAY BUT YOU'D GRAB KATE'S CHAIR WHO JUST TOOK A COFFEE BREAK?! PET PEEVES I HATE CHAIR GRABBERS

React has been a gateway into the practical functional world.

Having a crack at Clojure/Om/Datomic, and then recognising the roots of functional and immutable programming that I've seen before.

I have a lot to learn.

Looking forward to grasping macros fully. Walk before I run though

What if the reviewer gives you bad reviews that lead to bad code, and you can't defend because he couldn't understand the shit you're talking about?

Our "boss" asked us to go to office on Saturday to work on something that is not part of the current sprint, but planned to be done next sprint, because we are
A g i l e

Anyone else here who needs to deal with GDPR on the software level? I'll go nuts until we're compliant in every aspect.

I've been developing a consent library for the last few days. It even automatically links expressions of explicit consent to current screenshots of the relevant forms (because you need to do that too), and past records are immutable. Well, unless the whole database gets fucked somehow, then it's not.

I'm most excited about Smart Contracts & Distributed Applications.

In early January I started learning Solidity thinking it would be super difficult but was pleasantly surprised when I'd completed my first DApp in a couple days. Two months on and I've finished 3 major projects and launched my own Udemy course.

I'm not a big follower of Crypto Currencies at all and haven't become financially invested in anything really. I just love the way development works on a blockchain; it is quite interesting and It feels really fresh solving problems using code that will become immutable.

Did an intro to functional programming course in Scala.

Felt like I was able to touch the face of an immutable God. :')

I submitted my code for review yesterday. Got a reply this morning about this particular code:
result.getString("name").
He's asking me to "create a generic method instead that will accept a key and return a value".
i want to flip my table now.

So we had a sprint review earlier. There were like 20 bosses who attended, head of this, head of that. We spent 5 mins to demo our application, and another 55 minutes discussing the "delivery date" 🤯

Not knowing what persistence was and copying JS objects with JSON.parse(JSON.stringify(...)) trying to make it “pure immutable”.

Fml.

I'm currently handling 2 projects simultaneously. The other developer recently resigned, so now I've got 5. Kill me nowwwwwww

I remember my college days, i had a subject about OOP. Damn, the professor only talked about how to make a f*cking TextBox and Buttons in VB.NET and we finished the course without hearing anything about OOP.

"Guys best idea to fuc... help the javascript developers. We make a framework with its own events/states and it will not change inputs or anything unless specified in state. Clearly easier to test... I mean how hard can it be?

Even better our framework will be so fuc... Helpfull that they will put an plugin so they can make it work... I mean improve...

Did i say we just throw the html and put everything in our own butchered way? Even better remember that easy
, Style= ? Hahaha we will make it an object...

O yeah and the state must be immutable objects... What immutable means? Who the fu... I mean its easy...

And we make our own virtual dom because... Fu browsers"
-Facebook developer who hates javascript probably

P.S: thanks vue for keeping the double binding.

I need to add new feature into the program which I wrote years ago so I start digging up the source code. The project is written in a language which I no longer code in.

That code is really poorly written with most of them don't have tests. I also find out that previous self is really a genius since he can keep track of huge project with almost no documentation.

To make matter worst, there are unused components (class,feature) in the source code. "Current me" have a policy of "just adding only a feature you need and remove unused feature" but it seem the "previous me" don't agree with the "current me".

The previous me also have the habit of using writing insane logic. I can remember what particular class and methods is doing but I can't figure out the details.

For example one method only have 5 line of code but it is very hard to figure out what those do.

The saving grace is that he know the important for method signature and using immutable data structure everywhere.

I was under the influence of caffeine and have a constant sleep deprivation at the time (only sleeping about 4 hour every day) so I can't blame him too hard.

I can't blame him too hard, right?

Could someone invent a time machine already? Invent time machine not to save the world but to save the developers from himself.

"This happens because ES module import statements result in an object with immutable properties while CommonJS require calls result in an object with mutable properties (for the reasons already described above)." 🤮

New client, new project. Lol, there are more managers than programmers.

What do you think of Elixir + Phoenix to build API’s? Is it a better choice than a more established language like Python or something more new like Scala or Clojure?

At my company we're going through a watershed moment where we're starting to discuss and think about re-building our digital foundations and nothing is off limits. I'm leading the discussion about our architecture where everyone can have their say into what the future looks like for our applications. We're currently on a Drupal (CMS)  + PHP7/Symfony (Backend Content Repository) + Symfony Twig templates (Frontend)

Even though I have been developing in PHP most of my career, I personally love Elixir and spend a lot of my time away from work learning it but many of my reasons feels subjective like pattern matching, it's actor concurrency model, immutable data and not having to deal with classes/objects, and I'm not entirely sure how that translates to business value, advocating successfully for a tech stack change requires solid reasoning and good answers to challenges like how do we find Elixir developers when existing devs leave, how easy is it to build a CI/CD pipeline for Elixir/Phoenix, etc.

The team lead frequently changes a common library in the trunk, then he complains to us why we are not reflecting those changes in the branches. I neeeeeed heeeeeelp im going craaaaaaaazyyyyyyyy.

Got a colleague here who is very competitive. If I say that "I've got 90% test coverage", he'd say he's got 95. If I solve something and share it to him, he'd go to the boss and tell that he's the one who solved it. 😳

Calling something "idempotent" is fucking stupid. Why do you have to overcomplicate an already complicated shit such as terraform?

Why not call it unchangeable? Something that can be understood by a 2 year old. What even is the "immutable" word for if not even that is being used??? Why have 2+ words that define the same shit. Are u fking stupid who the fuck coined this phrase Idempotent and thought it was a good idea

When i read idempotent i have to remember and translate in my mind that it actually means "not changeable". On contrary theres "Non-Idempotent" so this fucks up the complexity even more cause Now i have to translate it as "non-not changeable -> which means it is everything But not changeable -> so if it is NOT not changeable -> it means it IS changeable" Fffuck offf

I need an advice!
I'm a back-end dev with 5yrs of experience.

Our team initially started with 7 back-end engineers, and 1 developer was acting as the "tech lead". I was happy as an individual contributor and I enjoyed it a lot. I learned a lot of things.

After 1 year, our team got downsized. All other BE devs got replaced by 2 new engineers - one with 7 yrs of experience who fckin doesn't even know how to google and drop a constraint in DB, and another with "13 years" of experience who's a credit-grabber and all talk.

Now here's my problem. I feel that I've been "unofficially" given the role of a lead developer - the one who needs to lead code reviews, mentor others, decide on the higher level design, chase people for deployment approvals, managing 3rd-party dependencies, and forced to become the "coordinator".

This stresses me and burns me out. I just want the peace of becoming an individual contributor.

What can I do at this point?

Lack of immutable data classes in the language and no immutable collections in the standard library

Often when i see the annoying as hell t debug exceptionless let’s just bomb entirely but blazing fastness of c and c++ I feel like a nettard
I use c# for its immutable strings clean syntax and beautiful class markers that are redundant compared to c++ but ensure you tell after adding 1000 methods and total lack of all special characters to indicate reference and derreference and pretty lambda syntax... sure it’s lib poor but I get shit done goddamn it and can read my own code later
So why do I feel empty inside every time i run a ./configure and make under Linux like I’m missing some secret party where neat things are being done and want to sob like I do now
I am not a dotnettard even though 5.0 is an abomination in the eyes of man and god ! Even though Microsoft cooks up overcomplex framework technologies that make a wonderful language underused and make us all look like idiots that they then abandon into the scrap heap! We can’t help Linux users haven’t discovered how much nicer c# is and decided to implement it on their own and port their horrible undocumented ansi c bullshit can we ???? Oh god I feel
So hollow inside and betrayed ! Curse
You gates curse youuuu! Curse you for metro direct3d xna wpf then false promises of core ! May you have a special place in hell reserved for you and your cheap wallpaper shifting monitor paintings and a pool speaker that playeth not but bee jees and ac dc forever and ever amen !

Speaking of which do any c/c++ ides have anything that even begins to rival intellisense on Linux and don’t use some weird ass build system
Like cmake as their default ?

Oh sweet memories of time a while back when I already wrote this and still wasn’t getting then tail I deserved

Again

When xcode wont stop whinging about your lack of updating a var since creation. Yes. Its currently looking immutable but will be updated in a short while when I get to that code!!!!! Hence the reason for var!

Everything

"Oh Lord, let there be var".

You c what I did there? 😜👊

everytime i try to learn kotlin, i can only think WTF is happening, why should it be happening?

after wasting last 4 hours, i came to this conclusion table regarding kotlin var and val notation.
And now my fucking compiler is saying that i can rather write :

val x:Int

and initialize it later, when i thought val is immutable and must be initialized at the beginning only(like public static final int x =5)

Who the fuck are those people that like this stupid language? why would you say some variable as immutable(meaning which can be changed 0 Times "ONCE" ASSIGNED A VALUE ) and when i can create a program with a variable that never got ASSIGNED A VALUE EVEN ONCE??

Hello, does anybody know a good templating library like Liquid for .NET?

The problem is that it has to work well with F# and immutable types.

@retoor I did it I FUCKING DID IT. I CRACKED THE COWDZ.

HAVEN'T SLEPT IN ALMOST THREE DAYS.
BUT I FED THIS TO A LOBOTOMIZED BOTII.
IT WAS ABLE TO RUN MY RULESET.
WELL, A VERY LIMITED VERSION.
BUT STILL.

PRO VIBES-ORIENTED PROGRAMMING.
IN MARKDOWN.
PSEUDOMARKDOWN.
what?
WHAT??!!!!

OH YEAH.
BEHOOOOOLLLD THE POWER OF CRACK:

```
# Definition of Basic Terms:

- Actor;
· * "An Actor is a character or entity actively or passively participating in the game";

- Action:
· * "An Action is whatever an Actor does during their turn";
· * **IMPORTANT: "In addition to taking an Action during their own turn, an Actor can opt to prepare a Re-Action to activate during another Actor's turn, *if* they have enough SP/MP to do so"**;

- Signa:
· * "A Signa is an in-game effect that describes an Actor's Actions and Re-Actions";
· * "In-game effects can only alter values within the Actor->Status dict";
· * Signa->Caster = the Actor that activated the Signa;
· * Signa->Target = the Actor that is affected by the Signa;
· * **IMPORTANT: "A Signa can be cast 'OnSelf', that is, the Caster can choose to cause the effect on themselves"**;

---
# Actor Attributes:

- Actor->ReadOnly:
· * **IMPORTANT: "ReadOnly attributes represent an Actor's natural advantages and cannot be changed through in-game effects"**;
· * **IMPORTANT: "The purpose of these immutable attributes is determining the base values for game formulas"**;
· * "Actor->ReadOnly is a (key=>value) dict that stores the Actor's innate and immutable attributes";
· * **IMPORTANT: "These bonuses are fixed and cannot be altered by in-game effects"**;
· * "Each key corresponds to a specific game formula";
· * "Each value is a constant signed integer that represents a modifier for the associated formula";

- Actor->Grit:
· * Actor->ReadOnly->{"HP->Max"} = 8+(Actor->Grit*2);
· * "Actor->HP->Regen is not affected by Grit";
· * Actor->ReadOnly->{"Strength"} = Actor->Grit*1;
· * Actor->ReadOnly->{"Resist"} = Actor->Grit*1;

- Actor->Wit:
· * Actor->ReadOnly->{"MP->Max"} = 4+(Actor->Wit*2);
· * "Actor->MP->Regen is not affected by Wit";
· * Actor->ReadOnly->{"Intelligence"} = Actor->Wit*1;
· * Actor->ReadOnly->{"Dexterity"} = Actor->Wit*1;

- Actor->Charm:
· * Actor->ReadOnly->{"SP->Max"} = 1+(Actor->Charm*1);
· * Actor->ReadOnly->{"Perception"} = Actor->Charm*2;
· * Actor->ReadOnly->{"Charisma"} = Actor->Charm*2;

- Actor->Spirit:
· * Actor->ReadOnly->{"Arcana"} = Actor->Spirit*2;

- Actor->Faith:
· * Actor->ReadOnly->{"Defend"} = Actor->Faith*1;
· * Actor->ReadOnly->{"Heal"} = Actor->Faith*1;
· * Actor->ReadOnly->{"Bless"} = Actor->Faith*1;

- Actor->Hatred:
· * Actor->ReadOnly->{"Damage"} = Actor->Hatred*1;
· * Actor->ReadOnly->{"Curse"} = Actor->Hatred*1;

---
# Diceroll Definition:

- rand:
· * "A pseudo-random number between 0 and 0.99";

- roll->dX:
· * roll->dX = truncate (rand*X);

---
# Basic Formulas:

- Actor->Status:
· * "Actor->Status is a (key=>value) dict that stores the Actor's current status effects";
· * "These bonuses are temporary and can be altered by in-game effects";
· * "Each key corresponds to a specific game formula";
· * "Each value is a signed integer that represents a modifier for the associated formula";

- Actor->Damage:
· * let base = roll->d4;
· * let X = Actor->ReadOnly->{"Damage"};
· * let Y = Actor->Status->{"Damage"};
· * Actor->Damage = base+(X+Y);
· * "Result can be negative if (X+Y) is less than -base";

---
# Regeneration Rates:

- Actor->HP->Regen:
· * const base = 0;
· * let X = Actor->Status->{"HP->Regen"};
· * Actor->HP->Regen = base+X;
· * "Result can be negative if X is less than 0";

- Actor->MP->Regen:
· * const base = 1;
· * let X = Actor->Status->{"MP->Regen"};
· * Actor->MP->Regen = base+X;
· * "Result can be negative if X is less than -1";

- Actor->SP->Regen:
· * let base = Actor->Status->{"SP->Max"};
· * let X = Actor->Status->{"SP->Regen"};
· * Actor->SP->Regen = base+X;
· * "Result can be negative if X is less than -base";

---
# Default Signas:

- Movement (Signa):
· * Movement->Cost->SP = 1;
· * Movement->Cost->MP = 0;
· * Movement->Duration = 1 turn;
· * Movement->AreaOfEffect = 4 tiles;
· * "Allows the Caster to move the target up to 4 tiles distance";
· * **IMPORTANT: "This Signa does not allow the Caster to avoid obstacles"**;

- Attack (Signa):
· * Attack->Cost->SP = 1;
· * Attack->Cost->MP = 0;
· * Attack->Duration = 1 turn;
· * Attack->AreaOfEffect = 1 tile;
· * let dst = Attack->Target;
· * let src = Attack->Caster;
· * dst->HP->Current -= src->Damage;
· * **IMPORTANT: "This Signa never misses"**;
```

if anyone is familiar with immer js or immutable js:

if the producer copies the base state to nextState, and nextState is a const, doesnt that defeat the purpose?

I mean you're going for immutability, which is great for say an undo function, or for finding bugs, but what are you doing with all these immutable values now hanging around in memory?

I assume each new state returned is being pushed onto an array? (because you cant stuff it into nextState because nextState is immutable).

Wont this lead to memory usage increasing over a user session, the longer the session lasts?

I feel like I'm misunderstanding some core concept here.

edit: also what the hell is structural sharing?

Modern Web Developer
(To the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from Gilbert and Sullivan's "The Pirates of Penzance")

I am the very model of a modern web developer
I’m quite fluent with JavaScript; An HTML whisperer
My code is clean and elegant, I genuinely innovate
And even know my way around a Promise and async / await

I’m very well acquainted too with matters vector graphical
I understand why SVG coordinates seem magical
And even without Photoshop I elegantly can produce
A mockup or a logo in most any format that you choose

[Chorus]
A mockup or a logo in most any format that you choose
A mockup or a logo in most any format that you choose
A mockup or a logo in most any format that you choose

I'm quite adept at ES6 expressions like destructuring
I know the ins and outs of functional reactive programming
In short, in matters browser-based or Node.js if you prefer
I am the very model of a modern web developer

[Chorus]
He is the very model of a modern web developer

I know our mythic history, the humble start, the browser wars
I know why Douglas Crockford fought the battle over ES4
The World Wide Web Consortium and Ecma International
My knowledge of our legacy is truly supernatural

With LESS and SASS and CSS, designing for mobility
I’ll perfectly apply the right amount of specificity
From custom fonts and parallax to grid and flex and border-box
I know most every tip and trick both common and unorthodox

[Chorus]
He knows most every tip and trick both common and unorthodox
He knows most every tip and trick both common and unorthodox
He knows most every tip and trick both common and unorthodox

And when it comes to lazy loading, bundling up and splitting code
There’s nothing quite like Webpack, which of course is built on top of Node
Considering my resume, I’m certain that you will concur
I am the very model of a modern web developer

[Chorus]
He is the very model of a modern web developer

When new frameworks and libraries emerge I must be ravenous
And gobble up the hot new thing, my appetite is bottomless
React and Vue and Angular, Immutable, RxJS
The list will be outdated long before I'm finished singing this

My pull requests rely on multitudinous utilities
To help me lint and test and build, a deluge of analyses
And every single day there are a hundred thousand more to learn
The web is going through an irresponsible amount of churn

[Chorus]
The web is going through an irresponsible amount of churn
The web is going through an irresponsible amount of churn
The web is going through an irresponsible amount of churn

This pace is agonizing! Code from yesterday is obsolete!
The speed of innovation is enough to knock me off my feet!
It's happening too fast! I can’t keep up! I’m tired! It’s all a blur!
I am the very model of a modern web developer!

[Chorus]
He is the very model of a modern web developer!

Our working hours is 9 to 6, but it feels embarrassing to go home at 6 because you are expected to work overtime.

Just lost like half an hour debugging an issue because I was using .pop() to get the last element of an array, but not intending to remove the element from the array. I wish typescript had immutable references... Rust kinda spoiled me there.

Saw my colleague debugging. He's got a try-catch, then I asked, "Why aren't you logging the stack trace?". He answered, "I don't cause it will be a security risk". So there he was having a hard time debugging.🤯
Can you guys confirm if what he said is true?

Why does the python universe doesn't have any X-men?

Cuz they're immutable

It's end of the year and it's time for that Performance Review again. I need to submit my self-appraisal. How would you guys highlight your achievements? My manager is someone who only cares about meeting deadlines, and doesn't give a fuck whether you improved the API performance by 100%.

I know that the company is a big factor, but in general, who gets better work-life balance? Front-end developers or Back-end developers?

Started looking into pseudo functional programming in JS.
Instant love...!!!
Writing monads composing together with curried function passing beautiful immutable data...
While listening to Fur elise Beethoven....!!
Coding bliss..!!!

why are there some mutable objects in java? Why can everything just be immutable? Are there any disadvantages?

I have watched a couple of videos on YouTube talking about Elm. It is a language used to develop user interfaces. It has a very organized ecosystem (unlike JS) and it is pretty cool to code with. Static typing, everything is immutable, etc...

For those who have worked with it, is it worth learning? I would love to know your experience.

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Immutable.js, Immutable
rb, Immutable.py, Immutable.java, Immutable.php.

Immutable.jpeg, Immutable.mp4. Love you Immutable.