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A guy and a girl are in a Java seminar.
Afterward, the guy approaches the girl and asks, "Hey gurrl, can I get your number?"
Girl says "Sorry, I don't give out my number, it's private."
Guy says, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were in the same class!"15 -
In my current company we're being forced to use Windows for web development... I can't use a VM because of the hardware specs.
This is now my screensaver.
57 -
Oh my god... Storytime.
A customer comes in with I assume is his father or grandfather.
Customer: I need a computer, but without all the internals
Me: So a case?
Customer: Yes, I need a Dell computer outsides, but without the internal components.
Me: Well, we don't have Dell cases, but we sell custom build cases and they come with a power supply.
Customer: *says nothing, but looks interested*
Me: *walks over to the cases to show him* So this is what the cases look like and we have two types, one for a ATX and one for a micro-ATX.
Customer: *still says nothing, but looks at them*
Me: What motherboard do you have at the moment?
Customer: Well, I don't have anything right now, but I'm replacing another computer that didn't work very well. I'm going to be getting some Dell parts to put in here.
Me: O-okay. So this other computer, I'd like to see it in shop to see what's going on with it.
Customer: Oh, you do NOT want to do that. I hooked it up to another computer and it blew it up.
Me: Huh, that's weird. I'd still like to look at it if possible.
Customer: Oh no, it's all wired wrong and... *some bullshit, but stay with me*
Customer: I am the best at technology. My hand has computer parts in it--government funded. *some more bullshit*
Me: Okay... *I try to bring it back around* Well, I'd still like to see the other computer for myself. So you don't have parts for this new build yet, right? You don't know what type of motherboard you have?
Customer: No.
Me: Well, I would get the internals first, so you know what size of case to get, and then get the case.
Customer: Okay. Thank you for your time.
He shook my hand with his "cyborg" hand and I was tempted to say something about "try not to crush my hand," but elected not to. Also during this entire exchange, the old man continuously farted in the background.22 -
How things will be evoluted according to elonmusk:
Car = Tesla
Space = SpaceX
Cyborg = Neuralace
Front end development =
8 -
Frontend team : We pushed our code. Please give instructions regarding integration with Backend.
Me : Alright. I'll provide you the API docs and you can continue with integration.
F : But that's your job. No?
Me (didn't want to argue) : I'll look into it. Let me check out the frontend till then.
* Goes on to see the frontend *
I am kidding you not, that moth*rf*ck*r pushed an entire template along with dummy text.
Me : Hey! This doesn't seem right. It's just a template you got off the internet.
F : Yeah! That's what I have to do. To put on the dynamic content from database is your work. Don't put your responsibilities on me!!
Are you f*cking kidding me?! Do your work right or I am reporting you to the team lead!
Meanwhile, team lead : *sips coffee. Disappears for months*
Bastards!7 -
Project manager : I want you to do the job by tomorrow.
Me : I can't, there's some problem with MySQL.
PM : Then use somebody else's SQL, but I want the job done by tomorrow!
Me : *weeps in silence*5 -
If I get the new arm I looked at today, I'll always have a battery pack on me. It's USB C and will charge my phone11
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Humans generally distract the fuck out of me when I try to code. And when they leave me alone, Windows decides its a great fucking time to install its shitty updates.2
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Peaceful protest #2:
Spotify desktop application is blocked due to "bandwidth issues", but web version works fine. Now I listen to music on YouTube, in 1080p, and I like to leave it on for the night...14 -
Starting a new project:
"I'm gonna write clean and commented CSS today"
===== 20 minutes in =====
"dafuq does this class do? "😣 -
So I had this conversation with my dad
Background : He saw news about some celebrity's Twitter account got hacked.
Dad : Do you know how to hack a Twitter account?
Me : No dad. There are ways for people who do this kind of stuff.
D : But, you studied software engineering!
M : Yeah, but I don't do hacking.
D : Although hacking is not ethical but everyone should know about their field.
*Awkwardly left the room*
Just because I studied computer science doesn't mean that I SHOULD know hacking.
And this is not the first conversation of this kind!4 -
I really like Stack Overflow's new design. I specially like how they mix Times New Roman and Comic Sans, it's really seamless...
Such UX, much design, very nostalgia
Furthermore, I think we can all agree that
Purple 90's Theme > Dark Theme
2 -
Last week: Resigned from my current job as a front end dev, mostly due to incompetence in upper middle management.
Yesterday: knowledge transfer to backend dev who aspires to become full stack.
"
- So how does the designer deliver the CSS to the code ?
- He doesn't, he just sends the prototype, we make it work...
- The manager told me that the front end team did not touch CSS.
*fuzzy find ". styles"*
- So these are the 40 some files that appeared here magically.'
"
Today:
New git flow policy's in place. Pull requests are now outside the flow and are entirely optional.
This is gonna be the tits... -
Going trough 4 years of college and getting a degree in Languages, Literatures and Cultures.
As useful to me as Justin Bieber is useful to mankind.1 -
Seems like Bitbucket's pushes go through like this...
Took me a while to figure out what it was.
Initially I thought Google had acquired BitBucket's, then it hit me...
4 -
Met one of my friends after almost three months. (He was out on vacation)
We randomly start talking about life and what we aspire to be.
He's doing Business Management Studies, so naturally, he wants to be some sort of manager.
He then asks about me. I tell him how I'm learning and aspiring to be a Web dev and do a little bit of ML on the side.
And following conversation ensues:
Him- Dude, what's the use of learning web development? Anyone can make a website today. Haven't you seen those ads?
Me- *Knowing he's talking about WIX* Yeah I've seen em. But it mostly generates dumb templates. If you need something custom, you gotta take help from a professional.
Him - Nah dude, you can get custom made stuff from them too. Web developers will soon lose their jobs. Learn something else.
Me - *Trying to control the urge to punch, I tried to explain that a website is more than HTML and CSS*
He - *Doesn't want to understand what I'm saying and says I should do something else, since automation will take away developer jobs *
WHAT THE FLYING SPAGHETTI FUCK!?
Why don't these people FUCKING UNDERSTAND (even after telling again and again) that there's more to a website THAN JUST FUCKING STATIC TEMPLATES
EAT SHIT AND DIE YOU FUCKING BASTARDS
And what's with claiming to know more about someone's profession than the person himself who's spending his days and nights dealing with problems your fucking zombie brains can't even fathom.
This was literally the third guy I met this month who said something similar. Are these people so common now?2 -
That moment when you are reading a book for tomorrow's exams,
suddenly want to find a particular topic,
and instead of turning pages,
say "Ctrl+F" as a Reflex.
Damn you Brain :/ -
In my previous rant:
Last week I resigned, in the meantime they've completely reworked the git flow process and made PR's optional, among other stuff.
Today: "Architects" ask that we stop creating tags. We're replacing release tags with release branches.
I feel dirty only for imagining having to do a "git checkout -b "v1.2.3".
Good times :)4 -
Graphs and clustering changed my perception of the world. I caught myself thinking of random shit in clusters and edges, and now I realized I have been doing this for a while.
•I caught myself thinking the following a few minutes ago:
While taking a shower, for unexplained reasons, I started visualizing different groups of friend’s throughout my life and how their connection/relationship to its group (centroid AKA leader) had a significant influence on how each individual behaved. After doing this for five groups - I proceeded to label them in classes of behaviors and noticed why each friend behaved a certain way. Wtf right? 😂4 -
Hey guys :)
I'm here today to share what I've been doing for the best part of the last year.
I was confronted with a problem, I wanted to write my notes in markdown, and wanted something that I could use cross-device without having to enrol on a premium subscription. I also wanted dark theme and a different interface than most options out there. Another requirement I had at the time was that I didn't want simply to go to a website, I wanted a 'native' look and feel, and I didn't want a text editor, I wanted a board of notes.
So I've created Mdyna. I still haven't got the cross-device functionality up and running, but it's one of the next items in my bucket list, along with a PWA that can be used in mobile devices.
You can check it out here: https://mdyna.netlify.com/
Any feedback is welcome =)2 -
In regards to Google being fined by UE:
(https://theverge.com/2018/7/...)
"That means Google will need to stop forcing manufacturers to preinstall Chrome and Google search in order to offer the Google Play Store on handsets"
Google restricts their user base to Chrome by making it the default Android browser the same way Microsoft restricts users to Internet Explorer by making it the default Windows browser.12 -
Helped my electronics teacher with a basic MATLAB code in beginning of the semester, she awarded extra 2 marks at the end to acknowledge it.
All I did was google the error and apply fix according to first link.😂😂1 -
I'm in several FB groups for selling/buying IT material, and from time to time I see someone trying to scam other people by selling those "GAMING PC L33TL4z0rz" with 4GB RAM and an GeForce 700GT GPU, attaching some LED action photos and League of Legends / CS:GO prints.
One of the most recent posts, was a guy who was trying to sell his (really old) macBook.
He said it was great for gaming, had an i5 CPU and 4GB of RAM.
Upon leaving my comment on the pieace of shit he was selling and that 4GB was barely enough to run Chrome, I got a shitload of replies saying that 4GB on a mac are not the same as 4GB on windows... So I immediately forgot everything I knew about computers and just left most (if not all) sales groups because I felt that a tumor of sorts started growing in me, a tumor of rage and awe in human stupidity.
Slowly, I started feeling superior to other people, and would immediately regard them as idiot simpletons. And I don't want to be THAT guy, who rolls his eyes every time someone asks a stupid question...
Now, if any of you could please inform me... What is the RAM conversion rate between a windows and a mac ?5 -
Me: I should divide my project in small parts. It will be a piece of cake.
Also me: (on last day of submission) 76 commits in 34 minutes.
*Face Palm* 🤦♂️1 -
When your code misbehaves in production and you need all the ducks in the world to fix the problem😂😓
(Marshmallow doing some serious debugging!)
1 -
*Something wrong happens*
Windows - "Send crash report to Microsoft"
Me - "Really? That's your solution? Coz nothing ever got fixed😒"1 -
Got my first Dev job nearly two months ago at a small start up (only 2 devs atm)
Yesterday during meeting boss says
"We're now much stronger than we were before (about development)"
First positive feedback and it felt godly. -
src: https://gamedesigning.org/career/...
As a front-end developer, can anyone recommend any tools and tutorials on how to get started in game development ?
11 -
Me at the start of the day:
"Hmmm fresh new CSS sheet, this time everything will be properly organized. "
Two hours later:
"Shit, I got this feeling that I have already styled this class... Oh well, I'll organize this later.
At the end of the day:
"same element selected 3 times in same style sheet? My CSS is versatile. Spaces and indents? What the fuck am I selecting here? Everything seems to be working as intended, I should organize this... Nvm, I'll make a clean sheet next time.3 -
Not to sound self centric, but a cyborg clone of myself with close to but not fully true consciousness.
Would always have something to talk about and would probably be a great pair programming partner as we'd be almost in sync and on same wavelengths ;p -
DevMD. Anyone know a good little finger prosthetic? I have a CAPSLOCK hyperkey.
It is now exercise to keep my left hand flat and it reflexively clenches into a fist. Please help.2 -
Tabs over Spaces.
PHP over Python.
Internet Explorer over Firefox.
Death over Life.
@dfox over @trogus?4 -
because I lacked a portable storing solution (pockets weren't allowed), I couldn't find anything better than using my own skull as a storage box. It turned out it had way more room than expected. The brain itself is quite small, and the whole frontal lobe & the space around the brain is completely empty. Initially, opening the skull was scary and cumbersome, but the more you do it, the easier it gets. Once upon a time, when I tried to pop an acne on my forehead, the hole was revealed, and it led to the storage space beneath. I have no idea how it happened, but apparently the skin is too thin. The bone also looks much thicker from the inside. There were two wires — red and black — leading to a standard PC speaker every old computer had. I wasn't a cyborg, mind you, I merely put that speaker there for storage. The acne hole healed with those wires exposed, leaving a permanent mark due to the wire coloring pigment dissolving in my skin.
I used that storage space to hide the contents of some parcels I was processing back then. I was stealing things. Eventually, my coworker — Bruce Willis — confronted me, and I had to strangle him. My arm became very flexible, and I was able to wrap it around his neck several times during a chokehold. It didn't end well for both of us. -
A game. A simple pixel-art, 2D game.
I told myself I'd start it after wrapping up other projects. When I did, I checked the docs for Electron and Phaser and... Well, lemme do some Node projects first... -
When it's holiday season and your teammates are on leave, so you have to open a pull request and approve it on your own.
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Ohai devrant :D
I've been wanting to learn Ruby (specifically, Rails). Can any of you recommend a good learning resource for someone coming from a front-end / ReactJS background ?6 -
!rant
So, I wanted a little suggestion here.
I'm currently interning at a startup and currently we document our build procedures by creating .docx files containing the steps. But docx is a pain in the ass. I'd rather prefer markdown for documentation.
Are there any better tools for documenting? What do you guys use?
We're using Jira for project management bdw.1 -
Thinking about making a small and simple pixel game in JS, I already have plenty of gfx.
Can anyone recommend a good, easy to learn Js gaming Framework ?
Many thx4 -
Me: 'here we go, code working completely as intended, tested and without bugs.'
Senior after reviewing code: 'apart from the formatting errors, I'd also do this piece of coding in a different manners'
*Comments exchange in pull request*
Me: 'well this seems more like a change the whole logic request rather than a small improvement, I'll keep it like this and resolve it like suggested on a future opportunity'
Still in prod.
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