There is a band called 1023Mb. They haven't got any gigs yet.

I just found new band called "localhost". They recently published their new album named "127.0.0.1" with an awesome song "It works on my machine".

It's awesome :D

Programming as fast as you can because of deadlines

Me: so glad it's Friday!
Coworker: it's Wednesday...
Me: FUUUUCCKK. This is bullshit

So because of the sheer number of interviews I’ve been doing I’m starting to get a bit brazen with them since I’ve started to really not give a fuck about most of them and I’ve started to notice patterns in common lines of questioning resulting in this unexpected gem today:

Interviewer: So we always start our devs off on the bottom end of our salary band.

Dev: Either give me the top or I’m not interested.

Interviewer: 😡. But if we start you at the top of the salary band we’ll have nothing to give you later. 🥺.

Dev: No need, I’ll take the money up front. Companies don’t give raises these days anyway, it’s just a carrot to dangle in front of the naive.

Interviewer: 😡. Well if all you care about is money so focussed on money you’ll just leave if a better offer comes around!

Dev: All the more reason to give me the highest number possible to defend against that possibility.

Interviewer: 😡. But there are other devs on the team with similar experience that will be making less than you.

Dev: Sounds like they fell for the negging and guilt tripping you are currently attempting on me in order to save a buck. Salary is not based on your skills or experience anymore, it’s based on your ability to negotiate. Here’s mine.

Interviewer: ………………. I’ll pass you along to the hiring manager.

Dev: ???? wtf

HOW THE FUCK DID THAT ACTUALLY WORK ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I WAS TRYING TO GET THEM TO HANG UP FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES AND NOW I’M LOOKING AT A 20K RAISE ALL BECAUSE I CONTINUALLY TOLD THEM TO GO FUCK THEMSELVES??? THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT IT TAKES TO BE TREATED PROPERLY BY A COMPANY???

A software engineer was smoking...

A lady nearby asked him: "Can't you read the warnings? Smoking is injurous to health!"

He replied: "We are bothered only about errors, not warnings!"

Ever heard of the band 1023 megabytes?

No? Not surprising, they never made it to a gig

My girlfriend lost her hair band at my house. Today I found it and finally solved the problem of tangled cables!

You know I once played in a band? It was called 1023 megabytes, but we never got a gig.

With all this emoji code bullshit flying around in here.

I thought I would test my luck and make what I think would be the worst possible end result of this.

<?php
define("😂","God help me");
define("🤡",100);

for($🍔 = 0; $🍔 <= 🤡; $🍔++){
echo 😂."\n";
}
?>
This will execute and run on PHP7.1 😱

Now let’s all band together and kill emojicode before it becomes a thing we will regret!

Developers version of "I'm in a band": "I'm building an app".

Moved to a new place about two months ago.

The internet connection is provided and baked into my rent. Didn't mention anything about speed.

First thing I did was to check with my phone over 2.4 GHz hit about 100/100 and thought.

Sweet! I have the nice 100/100 Mbits speed!

Yesterday I had some issues with my 2.4 GHz band on my phone. (I have a lot of wireless devices, mice, keyboards, headphones, so it makes sense) Couldn't even do a speed check. Was like. What the fuck. Switched to 5Ghz band because it's not as busy with other devices.

Do a speed check.

500/500.

I realize. Wait. I am checking from my phone.

What does my cable connected computer really get?

900/700

Holy shit. I've been connected to gigabit internet for almost two months without knowing.

What the shit. What God have blessed me with such sick speeds?

I am a tester by profession, But I love coding. Sadly my organisation doesn't allow people of my profile to install IDE/ Programming softwares... So I had to work with what I had... VBA, MS Office...

I started to work on few small Ideas, then I and a friend worked on a macro which automates a 5 year old manual process... It became a Hit ! It changed the whole process... My manager started to highlight it everywhere... Other manager started to come to us for helps....

So I learnt MS Excel Vba, then MS Access vba... started to become an expert...
Now the whole onshore and offshore management knows us by name....

This excitement made me explore other programming language band fell in love with Python and JavaScript...

Now I made a virtual bot for my manager....

That small project paved the whole way of my programming passion...

Brace yourself, organs are going on the black market for the iPhone X.

I haven’t seen the keynote yet, but $2,000 for a phone, seriously this fucker better be making me coffee in the morning, if I have to sell my fucking kidneys and right leg to buy this one.

Ooh it offers a Face ID, cool so now I can stick a photo up at the camera and unlock my phone - security!!

It’s got a wireless charger***, sort of, still needs a useless ugly fucking charging pad .

And they’re even nice enough to put those shitty ear pods in the box.

Fuck you apple, I think it’s time I jumped off this over priced band wagon.

I'm fairly certain my boss'.....boss (didn't want to count them.. it's high up the chain, and slightly lateral) thinks I'm incredibly weird. I have too many sports injuries to be fully functional and they all flare up while I'm sitting at my desk. To offset this, I stand up or walk around while on the phone, and occasionally stretch.

These stretches are for hip and it band, usually, which are a bit more involved, so of course he ONLY fucking walks into the damn office while I'm stretching. (Image search for hip stretch).

To top it off, I have an unfortunate colored ointment for the pain in my elbow that i was applying today while stretching, and im scared to know what he was thinking before he realized what was actually going on. Imagine hip stretching (this one with leg on desk) while rubbing milky sort of clear ointment into skin...

Sir, if you're reading this, I promise I'm not actually that weird at work, you just have shitty timing.

Anyone else get a little freaked out when someone tells you a website works BEST on IE?

Guy I just met: so what do you do?

Me: I'm a developer

Guy: no way! I work for a software company so... (goes on to talk for 10 minutes trying to show off his knowledge of software)

Me: so what do you do there?

Guy: sales

Me: oh...

Just because you work for a software company does not mean you know shit about software. Don't try to build some erroneous common ground with me because you walked by a developer's desk one time, looked at his or her screen, and magically thought you could understand code.

It would be nice if everybody could just leave me the FUCK alone and let me work.
Goddammit!

Lets get to know eachother, shall we..?

It's come to my attention that all we do is either rant, or post memes! Lets talk! D;

What's your favorite programming language?

How about spoken/written language?

Favorite band?

Song?

Do you sit or stand while working?

What's the last four digits of your SSN? Haha, jk..

What are you passonate about?

What projects (programming or otherwise) have you started/picked up/finished lately?

What else do you want to share?

Answer as many as you'd like~

Suddenly it hits me.
It’s 01:20 here but i get it.
It’s ALL a budget thing.

No dedicated tester means less expenses.

No personal parkspot?
No expenses!

And no good staging or testing environment? Less expenses!

Meanwhile every developer can setup, work on, and maintain about 20 websites on their shitty local Windows machine, that doesn’t even have a proper SSD installed, and we are setting impossible deadlines to figure out who will sink and who will swim.

Ow, here is a SSD.. Figure out the installation yourself because we have no IT knowledge or budget for people that do.

You want a challenge? How about 40 other people that are distracting you all day long.

Meanwhile everybody has to improve their skills in js, react, html5, ccs3, angular, .net and razor so money can made faster.

It would be nice if you could build apps as well.

You had a question? Sorry, no time. Expect some feedback 14 days later.

You finished the site?
Great!

But here are 101 bugs to solve before next week.

All hail their crazy company!

A woman can make 4 babies with 4 different fathers in 9 months, right?

Someone decided we need a "rubber band programmer" who bounces around from project to project as needed, and that gets to be me.

So I work on 4 projects, with 3 programming languages, 4 frameworks, and with users in 4 complicated industries, none of which I have experience with.

And my boss wonders why I'm not as productive as everyone who has worked on 1 project for 5 years.

Clearing the cache.
Tried clearing cms cache
Tried restarting iis
Tried browsing incognito
Tried deleting browser cache...

WHY U STILL SHOW OLD CSS?!?!

If i'd get a penny for every time i typed backgorund instead of background i'd be so rich :)

Code a band.

Hey guys have you heard about that band called 1023MB? They haven't had a gig yet.

I'm planning on making a band called Bar Fighters and will play songs like Integer Or Long, The Renderer, Test of U nit, Learn to Try ( catch )

Supervisor: so you're going to write a perl script that will compile a jar that will be used to invoke a web service
Me: okay. What does the web service do?...
Supervisor: I'm not sure how it works. It'll just return a success or error code
Me: so I'm just going to invoke a black box?
Supervisor: that's a good way to think of it
Me: so how does the qa process work with this black box/how can we debug?
Supervisor: we don't have qa for it and we can't debug

What the fuck?!?!? You expect me to call a literal fucking black fucking box?!?! This isn't lambda calc you jabroni.

!dev

This is the one thing about Spotify that annoys the living hell out of me (yes, I use spotify, if anyone knows a good/working self hosted alternative, let me know! I've tried quite a few including funkwhale but they all failed for me).

I'm a raw hardstyle/rawstyle lover and listen to the raw duo Malice a lot. Now, what would the problem be here? Sometimes, there are several artists in different scenes with the same name. This is completely fine.

Spotify, however, mixes up music of the raw duo Malice and the rock/metal band Malice. I keep getting release notifications/news regarding new music/events from Malice but 90 percent of the time this is about the rock/metal band and NOT the raw duo.
It's also very weird to suddenly hear rock music while listening to my daily mix; the wrong malice is mixed in once again.

Yesterday I got an email saying "Check out Malice's newest release on Spotify!"

*OH FUCK YEAH*
*opens Spotify release radar*
*YAAA....FUCK*
That's the other malice 😡

Is it so hard, Spotify? Entirely hiding the artist results in the right one being hidden as well for me 😞

It's always fun to compare webdesign to car sales.

Client: We want a car with 2 doors.

We: Here is you car with 2 doors.

Client: Why does the car only have 2 doors? This is very limiting and i think 4 doors work way better.

We: Okay fine, here is a car with 4 doors.

Client: Could you please check on the brakes, i think there is something wrong but i don't know what.

We: Ok we checked the brakes and they are working ok. So here is you car with working brakes and 4 doors.

Client: Why didn't you check on the exhaust? The car is generating big black clouds now...

It's never enough

So if Verizon agreed to not SIM lock phones in order to get the the 700MHz Block C license aka LTE Band 13, and now they're SIM Locking phones, does that mean they're going to lose their LTE license?
.
.
.
Just kidding, that'd require an FCC with a spine. But it fucking should.

We got an HTC Vive from my girlfriend’s brother two weeks ago. We’ve been enjoying it, playing games, looking at places to move, using it as a virtual vacation (since we haven’t left the house in months thanks to covid and sweltering heat), etc. It’s been amazing.

Today, my 1yo decided it would be great fun to wrap its cord in the exercise bike and spin the pedals (and therefore flywheel) as fast as he could. It ripped the headset band off, broke the plastic attachment, and tore the cables out. He also broke the pedal somehow.

So no more Vive.

We can probably get it fixed, but.
My heart hurts.

There’s a band called 1023 MB. They haven’t had a gig yet.

Let's do some more of that epic coding! *Puts on Star Wars music*

A lot of phrases we use in software would make awesome alternative-rock band names.

- Integer Overflow
- Curly Braces
- Recursion
- Callback Hell
- Daemon Processes
- Nested Loop
- Regular Expressions

Source: Twitter

Stuck at a concert for band my girlfriend likes on a Friday night... so many side projects could be worked on right now

There's a band called 1023MB.They haven't had any gigs yet...They need a bit more time. A mega-bit more time and probably a Bus😃😀... 😂😂More like 8000😃

The other day we had a little celebration because a website went live.

It’s weird

Somehow it’s easy to spent €100 on celebration food and drinks but it’s hard to sign a €90 paper and allow me to upgrade my computer just a tiny bit.

1. Keep your rythm: 7/8 hours of sleep each day and DON'T take your work home. Unless you have your own business ofcourse. Still: don't wear yourself out!

2. Put on music. Me personally like fast punk when i'm struggling with a deadline. Makes you want to go faster.

3. Close ALL communication like chats, mail etc. Hell i even thought of a sign "do not disturb"

4. Coffee. Lot's of coffee

5. Use a time tracking method like pomodoro

JavaScript? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

JK. Honestly, all I can say is the next fad will come, then the next, then the next... They'll all explode for a bit, accumulate band wagoners, calm down... Wash, rinse, repeat...

Oh and PHP will still be around. :P

Im working on a big project with a coworker that is working remotely. Basically we chat and call every day.

Today he is in the office.
Comes in, doesn’t even look or say hi.

Nice working with you pal.

TL;DR: If you make a contest where people get to vote online fucking make it right!

And here's the story: I play in a local coverband to make some cash on the side and because I love making music. We entered a contest hosted by a local radio-station. The first round was determined by judges and now 5 bands remain and of those 5 only 3 get to be voted into the final round. In the final round every bands wins something: 3rd place 250€, 2nd place 750€ and first place 5000€.
Now that stupid dipshit of a web-designer of that radio-station made a website where you can vote and it only fucking sets a cookie. You can delete it and vote again. You don't need no E-Mail and nothing. It doesn't even block multiple votes from one IP. It doesn't do shit.
Even my bandmates (who don't work in IT) where smart enough to figure out that you can just delete the cookies...
I think that now every band except for one is cheating. (we have over 5000 votes and combined all bands have like 4000 FB-Likes and sometimes and Band gets like 400 more votes in an hour) This is such a fucking messup and I don't know what to do. Maybe they'll look into stats but if they're so stupid to make a contest like this in the first place, maybe they won't. And even if they look into the stats it wouldn't be fair to kick out a band with much votes because how the fuck would they know if the band themselves cheated or if it was a fan of the band or even an enemy of the band just to get them kicked out.
I'm afraid of talking to the radio-station as a part of one band because maybe the web-designer there just gets frustrated and bans us from the contest entirely.
This is just fucking frustrating.

So, 5/10 minutes of discussion about a class i need in the code. This was with the backender.

Ofcourse the designer hears this, joins the discussion and causes another 10minutes of explaining that a photo is different then a video...

Meanwhile i took a piss and got coffee because i’m fucking tired of these discusseion. You’re a designer, why care about code other people write. Go draw something

I started a band called "999 Megabytes", be we ain't get no gigs yet.

The Queens guard marches outside our window every day after lunch. Including a marching band. 😂

Facebook you little piece of shit.
We have a page setup for a band since apparently this is what one does these days. But oh boy is facebook annoying. Can you please stop sending me 100 notifications a day about fking post boosting?! What the fuck. We are students we don't have money for this shit. fk off! <.<

Hired a designer below me.. guy never wrote a full back nor frontend... Used npm shit for all his solutions and worked his way above me just by kissing ass and polluting the codebase in such a way 70% would be open source shitty plugins for shit he could not do by himself code wise...

At some point he assigned some of his tasks to me and I couldn't work with his patchy framework that was non existent within the codebase I worked on ...

At some point between npm installed tantrums I got pulled up to HR because my code quality dropped... And it was this fucktart that accused me of this saying I could not do modern development...

In the end I either had to butkiss after his butts or just quit, so I did the latter... I told him and HR I owned alot more code quality than this asshat but just not his way of working and therefor it was more an issue of code equality I was never aware of ...

A month after that the company got overtaken by some silicon valley bullshit company buying up competition, and he is still working within that shithole dealing with 90's tech...

Was the best thing that happened to me, after that I grew alot in skillset and such by investments from other jobs and projects... If I would still work there today I would consider myself a caveman

Oh my god. Vulfpeck (my absolute favorite band) sings about GitHub and Bootstrap 😮😁

I'm starting a band called 1023MB. I don't think we'll ever get a gig.

At a concert instead of coding. This band is talented, but they have nothing interesting to say and sound like every other alternative group out there.

It's like thinking you have to shit and then just farting for 90 minutes.

Have you heard of the band 1023MB? They haven't got a gig yet.

As someone who works with front end stuff regularly, know what I love about safari? Specifically mobile safari?

Not a god damn fucking thing. If safari was a band, it'd be Nickelback, featuring Kenny G and Michael Bolton.

Old, bad quality and not mine. Still just had to share

We were once tasked to create a 3-part Flash game to advertise the upcoming release of an album by a very famous band. Every part used a different gaming engine which we had to build from scratch (one of which was like a simplified version of the OG GTA game - top down driving with zooming in etc). On top of this we had to deal with user registration and score submission.

We had 4 weeks to do it in. We were 3 people.
We did an illegal number of hours to get as much done as we could, and we still didn't manage it in time because, frankly it was impossible.

Pretty good game though.

So first of all.. Fuck perl.. Actually, that's all I have to say

Anybody else feeling it after Chester Bennington's death recently? I'm nearly 30 years old, so I listened to him a lot through my teenage years. Linkin Park was practically my favorite band back then. I'm pretty bummed out man. 😔

Damn.

Supervisor has me making a web app in this badass new stack called the LAP (linux, apache, php) stack because he would he would like the app to be "simple". He's spot on though.. having a three letter acronym saves so much time.... and then we don't need to worry about a database... or querying.... or efficiency.... or even the web app itself because clearly he expects the fucking code gods to come down and turn this piece of shit web app into a fucking masterpiece if he thinks this shit can be done based on a hacked together file management system. Please save me code gods

So yesterday i solved 7 tickets on my own for this project while the teammate was "testing".

Solved nothing and checked fb or new everytime i took a look at his screen.

Can comeone please fire this guy?

It's such a missed opportunity that Al gore could've created a band and called it 'Algorhythm'

Any musician Devs here? Some rants here would make great themes to make some heavy songs

🤘😠💻

Whiteboard interviews. Would say "my first whiteboard interviews", but I think they will always have the magic to make developers feel stupid.

daily !rant:

Which is the most favourite band of Android devs?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Gradle of Filth

Started a new job a month ago. I’m the only real frontend developer here. I come from a company with 10+. Now i’m working with a old ux guy. Mr. UX teached me the usage of a styleguide. This styleguide is a fucking mess. The legacy code is a fucking mess. They way of working, up for improvement.
I have a dream...

Why does every designer has to be a complete asshole? Wtf is up with them? You take a day on your fucking design, i implement your fucking design, and then when you see it, you want it completely different again.

Yeah i applied for a job once without much js experience. I got invited for an interview and a couple of tests. The interview went well. I think the cognitive test wasn’t bad either.

However they wanted to see funky js shit i hadn’t ever done or see before and also was totally useless skill wise.

I asked if i could google answers (who doesn’t in their daily script job?) but i wasn’t.

I tried for like 5 or 10 minutes and then blurted out to the major CTO super tech savy master degree microsoft-o-worthy, that my js skills weren’t up for the task.

He gave me a couple of links to pdf’s with programming basics teached at a high school. Totally cool and understanding.

I walked away ashamed and probably red as a tomato. Excused myself for wasting his time and left as quickly as possible.

Have you heard of the band 1023MB? They haven't got a gig yet.

They hired a new person to come and help put with the project. This guy graduated a freaking year ago. Common guys wtf?!

Saying he is a full stack developer but unable to get a database running :’)

Q: So, what's your favorite music band?
A: RUN CMD

So i had the second talk with this company today. The backend developer somehow expected me to know all four benefits of jQuery. What the hell dude?

Nobody knows everything.

I’m not a big fan of jQuery period.

99 IT recruiters on the phone, 99 IT recruiters.
Take one down and pass it around, 99 IT recruiters on the phone.

Why are my projects NEVER done?

Me: "Omg, I'm so not sorry you didn't get a response to your 2:00am text sent to my private phone number about that super duper not important thing that a four year old could solve... but my girlfriend gave me a wrist band thingy that puts my phone on silent whenever it thinks I'm sleeping."

Product Owner: "And you can't set it up properly!? Your title says `señor software engineer` for god's sake!"

Me: "Yeah, it does. This is a hardware issue, though."

...is what I told her and she bought it. 🤷‍♂️

I WANT TO STUFF THE MOUTH OF SO MANY STUPID PEOPLE. THEY TALK LIKE THEY CREATED EVERYTHING AND KNOW EVERYTHING AND THAT THEY CAN TURN WATER TO WINE. BUT NO YOU CAN'T EVEN TURN WATER TO PEE YOU DUMB STUPID FUCK.

Here is an animal band which is going to play some soothing jazz, please stand by
🎺🦆🎻🦢🎷🐓🎤🦒🎛️🐅🥁🐕

Don't get me wrong, Dart is a darling. But also at the same time is like that one time you thought you found a good band and end up reading their wiki and one of the members turns out to be a wife beater.

Feels so good at the beginning and you feel you can do anything until you see the shortcomings and feel weird about committing time to it.

I was in a meeting with the designer, the backend guys and a marketing person this morning. They talk about a frontender like i’m not even here.

I have a job interview this week so hopefully this will soon indeed be the case.

Ow how badly i want to punch the designer in his face

My internship's sprint evaluation is in 2 hours, project is fucked and team is a band of baboons also i am the presenter and lead dev of the project.

Hows your tuesday going?

CSS, I fucking hate you.

I fucking hate my job, because of you. I'm pulling my hair out every day, all day because I have to put up with your bullshit. If it weren't for you, I'd probably enjoy design.

You're not even programming. You're the mistake that happened when web-design developed too rapidly for the devs at the time to keep up and produce intuitive, functional tools. That, or they were just fucking sadists.

You're a band-aid that's started to rot, but we just keep sticking pretty stickers over you and pretending like the wound isn't festering.

I wish I could spend more time learning C and C++. Then I could go get a real job as far away from you as is virtually possible.

. . .

Look, just this once - just for today - could you please do what I fucking ask you to. I mean, I'm just asking you to do your fucking job. That's all.

I had a weird dream last night: at the office, my co-worker sliding a wide rubber band over my cup of coffee up and down 🤔☕

I was just in a meeting. Making notes on my phone. Appearently coworker thought i was on FB or something and asked if i could focus. I was just making notes?!
He felt pretty stupid :)

Company is celebrating new awards. Whole dev team basically says fuck you we have better things todo and isn’t attending for champagne.

Internet access at the new Uni is crap. I'm getting so pissed at this shit...
Packet loss spikes to over 50% every 30s or so. Can't keep a single SSH pipe open for longer than a minute. Firewall is so tight infrared light wouldn't get through that shit (understandable. And I use a VPN anyway).
And every. Single. AP. Uses. The. Same. Channel. All of them on 6. At least it's on a tight band... But 1 and 11 are free. 100% clean. You know, you could spread them a bit. That helps. But naaah let's keep everything bundled up. Co-channel interference is OK, right?

youtube's autoplay algorithm has made me discover some interesting gems on the internet.

but fucking damn it if it doesn't like to replay the same 15 songs you like. every fucking time.

like you know I like this band. SHOW ME OTHER SONGS OF THIS BAND GOD FUCKING DAMMIT. I KNOW I LIKE THESE 5 SONGS ALREADY.

I'm amazed how some people either think I'm fucking jesus or a god or both.

App XY not working.

Yeah. We're talking about how App XY and it's exhaustion of the connection pool since a year....

It's not working, what can we do?

Well. I don't know. Tried restarting?

Not working.

Well... Nothing I can do, you're responsible for developing the app and we've talked many times how complex the problem is.

It's not working, can u do something?

<Me just fed up increasing the connection count>

Well. I've increased the connections.
This will not work. It's a band aid. The app needs really a complete migration.

Ok. But it works.

No it doesn't work.. For fucks sake... It still exhausts the connections for unknown reasons, this is a band aid.

But it works....

-.-

This conversations was over then....

Well. Have fun.

I reverted the change I did.

May this crappy piece of shit die a thousand deaths, I:m now working on something else.

Goodbye mother fucking bitches, habe fun with the nightmare you created.

I'll cry over the other fucking nightmares I at least can solve, cause what you created in this App is beyond irresponsible and dumb.

Focus of mastering one language, don't jump around to every web langue out there.

Also don't follow the programming language band wagon. Focus and master the basics first HTML, CSS, Jquery. These aren't going anywhere and a SOLID understanding of JavaScript will go WAY further then you think

So, i helped solving 168 bugs for this website. Ofcourse, doubting every step since i'm still new here. Yesterday there was a meeting with the directors. Appearently they where happy a graded the site with a 8.5.
I finished my education with a 6. Not taking credit for any of the above...

I find it so frustrating that i have to do my frontend coding in the same sprint the designer is working out what i’m suppose to create.
This isn’t working people!
I have got jackshit to do because all i can do is wait for the design but mr. Designer is pixelfucking his ass off.

Seriously, i’m working here for a couple of months but already looking around for vacancies.

Three days after I purchased iPhone XS, I had to install a new modem at home. The phone wouldn’t connect to the wifi network in the higher frequency band. The guy who came to install the modem dished out the theory that the phone must be too damn old to support it. That burn!

PS: it connected almost a couple of seconds later that. As if it was some kind of extra layer of authentication. Well played Apple.

Started a new job on Monday. STILL DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE FUCKING SERVERS I NEED TO ANYTHING. Holy fucking shit I'm annoyed. Fuck you corporate bullshit. I already feel like quitting.

Spotify just recommended me a band called "Windows 96". Interesting.

If i can make all buttons on the website manageble.

Haha just asking for 300 changes in a single issue. Wtf

Every time i got fired. So thats 6. At least in the past ten years. Every time i saw colleages get fired. So double that. Every 10nth job interview i went to. Maybe i should say i doubt my dev future every single fucking day.

I was recently hired as a fullstack developer internally in another team

While interviewing the manager specifically mentioned angular in the skill sets but *surprised* the codebase is in angular js

The previous ui guy didn't bother to upgrade to further versions and basically managed by adding band-aid fixes and patches to new requirements

Now the manager wants me to revamp the ui asap because it looks like something from early 2010s , i explain to him that I know angular ( previous projects was in angular 12 ) and this is in angular js which is totally different

To revamp it would basically mean rewrite

Manager thinks I'm cooking up excuses to avoid work or stretch my estimates ...

Another fun thing. This morning one of the first mails i read was a issue about a bug in our software.

This was a bug i mentioned months ago but there was nog evidence where i searched like mails chats or tickets.

If people would just listen to me this bug was solved months ago but back then i got a reaction like: "works over here" while i tested it on two different instances with buggy results each time.

Started this day great with the mention that a coworkers contract isn’t suspended.

In August?

Thats in freaking 6 months. Workload is already fucking insane, and STILL you fucking decide to fucking fire another fucking person from YOUR fucking company.
This has been the 5th i think and my contract is due to July. If it is prolonged i’m thinking of screwing this company over my going away myself. Bunch of mother fucking idiots.

Ended the day great as well.
Heard that a new person is going for lead promotion. Haha.
He has been here for only two months. :,)

Left and right projects are exploding meanwhile i’m in the middle trying to cut the right wire!

Lead developer about Project X:

“Focus on responsiveness. That will probably take you the rest of the week”

The next day:

“Focus on functionality Y”

MAKE UP THAT MIND FFS?!

Sometimes life is better with a cup of coffee.

!rant !dev Still funny office story

This happened last november. I decorated my desk for halloween (plastic bats, vampire stickers, more bats, a plastic raven, a little skeleton, etc). I also put a photo of Chris Pohl (vocalist from Blutengel, a electro-goth band).

I decided to remove all the decorations except for the raven and the Chris Pohl‘s photo.

One day, a partner and I were cheking out the code, and she suddenly saw that photo.

She: Oh, who is he? is he your boss?
Me: What?
S: Yes, is he your direct boss?
M: No, you‘re my boss
S: No, no, is he the vampire who you report your activities with?
M: Oh! XD No, it‘s Chris Pohl, Blutengel‘s vocalist
S: Mmm... he‘s pretty weird... his eyes...
and then, she got back to her desk.

That‘s it, continue reading rant stories 😅

P.D. What‘s the weirdest thing you have on your desk? 🤔

!dev

I hate family meetings!
I'm youngest in the whole family, everyone have a job but I'm just student in first year on uni.

Almoust everyone treats me like a child and ask me questions about school. I hate it!

Plus my mom brought MY electric guitar (cheap ST imitazion from second hand) which I have only for a year, to aunt's husband, WITHOUT EVEN ASKING ME! OK, he played a guitar and he had a band but still, IT IS MY GUITAR YOU SHOULD ASK ME FIRST!!!

Also I don't have time for practicing, so I'm not very good at it, I was so embarrased when they want me to play somethig.

OH GOD WHY? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?

P.S.:
Sorry for my english.

Day 9 of non smoking (attempt no. 16). How do people cope without smoking? its so difficult. After phone call with client... go for a smoke. Get off plane/train go immediately to smoke. Done some good code/solved something, go for celebratory smoke. Have a rehearsal with my band... go for a smoke. Go to the pub...go for a smoke. It’s woven in to the fabric of my existence and unpicking it is a long and painful task. I don’t do the e-cig thing. I don’t want to swap addictions.

Without any proper JS knowledge careeroptions are very limited... and i won't be able to pay my rent without a job :/

javascript is garbage

typescript despite best intentions, regardless of how well it's executed, is still garbage as it's some sort of band aid on top of javascript, and javascript is garbage

Before you ask, yes I'm garbage at front end development

We had some PR’s this morning. Colleage rewrote an app. Restructured everything. Broke some things. Not a single comment and merged to master.

I get questions like: WhY dO yOu PuT a BuTtOnPrEsS aNd A mOuSeCliCk HeRe?

FOR ACCESSIBILITY ASSHOLE!!! SOMETHING YOU OBVIOUSLY NEVER HEARD OF!!!

I just realized i have a great talent for saying wrong things in a job interview.

Recruiters have gone fucking mad! They are offering me a job in Brussels haha, this is at least a two hour drive away!!

Unless this job comes with a personal helicopter service, hell no!

Just writing this because i’m stressed as fuck and i’m currently having my second sleepless night in a row...

Like i mentioned earlier i have 4 projects on my name. Two are on a real tight deadline, the other two are smaller, more support like issues.

Last week i got asked basically to get about 20 storypoints done in two hours by my Scrum master. Ehh no. Impossible. Wish i could do magic...

Yesterday i had to make a quick hotfix between the two bigger projects. Tried to reject this but had to do this any way. (It was basically the clients fault/content)

Also, f’d it up because there are current changes that are ready for deploy but haven’t been approved yet.

Do i get a f’ckin email this morning about how the progress wasn’t followed and the git permissions aren’t right.

You fucking twat! If i i did have ANY freaking minute in my planning to actually take the time for this damn hotfix this didn’t happen any way! You’re fucking restrictions only make things harder you goddamn motherfucking morron!

Developing a clothing shop and being bored. Adding clients like Napoleon Bonaparte with the comment that this person is missing a hand.

If you want a terrifying name for your metal band, don't call it “Whispers from the Abyss of Despair” or “Through the Veil of Darkness and Desolation”.

Call it “Surgery Robot From Temu”.

I told myself for 18 months things like; ‘im being here, working here, and i like it here’.

Also when others left, nothing could break my confidence.

Present moment i’m happy to leave this place. This madhouse. This stressed out place where everybody keeps licking clients asses. Fuck this shit, i’m much better off elsewhere!

I am dreaming of leaving this company while the building burns. Or just before leaving, throwing my pc to pieces.

I wish i could scream: FUCK *company name*!!!

Fucking experimental technologies. I feel like doing webassembly stuff is like buying a smart device, it's not worth any of the trouble for now.
I wanted to do some webassembly-stuff with rust and yew (basically react for rust). I was really hyped because it all looked promising and i found this cool band "heilung" whose music made me my coding feel like black magic with complex incantations and shit.
A basic webassembly setup did work, but everything afterwards was pure shit. Crate installation didn't go as expected, i get weird errors even though i simply copied the example (and checked the versions). The best i got was when i tried to compile and rust told me to go fuck myself because i cant use feature XY in a package in the stable environment. Why the hell would someone even publish said package then? After losing half a day because of this i give up for now. I don't feel like a badass magician anymore anyways, more like the guy that puts mentos into coke and gets hit by the foam.

1. Get more fluent with c#
2. Move together with my girlfriend
3. Get my band started after a 2 year break
4. Increase my salary
5. Decrease my worked hours (I have to many thinks I really enjoy doing)
6. Finally ban JQuery from my workspace for all time

So stress is back on. Justed wanted to work. Computer crashed.

Deadlines with Windows 10 isn’t a good combo. Booting takes between 15 and 30 minutes ofcourse. Site needs to go live monday.

Joy...

In a team with 7+ Frontenders. Only one is vhecking my Pull requests. *sight*

Appearently on of my coworkers is working while having a day off. Boss answered the chat with the request to shut the pc because he’s off today :)

This guy... starts at 11. Ends at 16:00... And i’m supposed to work with him while my day is 9-17. No communication whatsoever. Great. Fucking great. Im boring my brains out meanwhile.

ATTN: ALL DEVZ

I think we all should just band together and say FU! to all of these software companies and form one gigantic software corporation, steal all of their clients, and make them beg on their knees for us to help them. Not only that, make them go through a series of VERY stressful interviews (to see who deserves our time, of course) in which we simply say....."no" with no explanation. Bwahahahahhahahaha!!!

Wishful thinking.... 🤔

Coworker and dev lead had a discussion about newsletter implementation last friday.
I told them, i’ve tried the setup before, it’s not gonna work, it’s behind an ip-block and they need a backend person.

Lead was convinced it was possible and started drawing stuff.

End result: wasn’t possible.

People really need to start listening around here...

PC was slow as shit yesterday, but this is taking 1,5 hours...
So far for productivity

One of the most inefficient practices I've seen done in companies is the company housing 50+ devs having to hire an expensive consultant who is only available on a limited time to figure out mysterious or in-depth problems with the company's main application (for example, JavaScript problems).

Then the whole dev team sits on his shoulders and production can't run smoothly until he fixes things. Even worse, him having the so-called qualifications, being the 'expert', but when asked an in-depth JavaScript question, they don't know the answer.
When I suggest to figure out things in-depth so problems like these can be prevented in the future, I'm met with: "Nah bro, we'll just apply quick fix #2" just because I carry the title 'Junior Developer'. Makes me want to hit my head on the wall on how stupid these people are.

This could all be solved if the dev team would be competent in the first place, knows how to read documentation and isn't lazy, most importantly. I hate teams like that.
Grab, the damn, documentation, read W3C, read MDN, get educated, and stop using band-aid solutions! Gah.
Toxic companies like these are what's wrong with some places in the development world.

I'm a proponent of knowledge.
Fellas, know your stuff.

Most definitely not dev related..

Guitar tabs that contain arrangements for +5 guitars on a band with just a rythm and lead guitar are fucking annoying.

Fucking hate having to piece the fucking melody by myself. And yes. I DON'T neeed the fucking tabs since I can figure the song by ear, its just that doing it like that takes way too much fucking time.

Getting fucking bored of playing the guitar tho. Been doing it since I was very young and never really liked it. Always wanted violin and then bass.

Have been looking at a nice fender precision bass. Made in Mexico so not really expensive, sounds equally as good and is going for a good $650 bucks plus the amp.

No lie, i am way too interested on getting me that bass already. Have been learning Roundabout by Yes(because I am a progressive rock fan AND a Jojo fan) and practicing with a friends bass whenever I get the chance.

If you already play guitar and you are good with guitar then picking up the bass takes some adjustment, but it's still not as heavy as going at it with no musical training.

Man I just want a bass so bad. I am just so cheap at spending money.

I got my evaluation today. First time in a year that i had a talk longer 30 minutes. 1,5 hours was a bit too much maybe. After an hour i just wanted to get over with it.
Verdict: average
Meanwhile i could’ve improved my project...

I have seen a developer implement lots and lots of breakpoints. For basically every pixel resolution a new one. Yes, it’s literally pixel perfect. No it isn’t maintainable in any way

Updated my Linkedin status last weekend. The recruiter hell is already starting. Everybody wants a piece of me.

Rejections flying left and right and i’m getting tired of it. I’m already applying for a month and have been to 10 companies, made multiple assignments but it’s the same fucking story every single time.

Time for a goddamn careerswitch. Maybe riding a bus or a truck or so.

Crawling around in a legacy project. Need to rewrite 500 lines of SCSS, to regular CSS. Fuck it. Runs compiler, beautifier and copy paste that shit.

So, i started at this company about 4 months ago. So far i mostly worked in existing project and legacy code.

We started a new project for a pretty big client, and i'm the one who's responsible for setting the project up. The last two days i've been struggling with database issues. Finally got the site running locally about an hour ago.

And now i am running into troubles because i don't know how to set up a project yet since i only worked in existing projects.

Great. Can't say i'm not challenged here!

Thoughts on Apple making their own processors for Macs. Ready, go!

When a company reaches the point where ya need to do welfare checks and send out a link to a crisis helpline at Christmas, y'all gone fucked up so many times you're putting a band aid on a broken arm.

There's a band called 1023MB.

They haven't gotten a gig yet.

Only photo I've taken of my work-desk, to showcase my friend's band playing on my Spotify :D

Shit week....

Defragmentation of several applications codebase(s), sifting out duplicate code and creating a library out of it. Bash.

Not funny.

Yesterday while cooking I was too fast.
Chopping board with adjustable cutting depth, was at 6mm. Right thumb. Full speed. :(

Boy that wasn't pretty. Bled for half an hour and created quite a mess while trying to find some band aid to get pressure on it. Guess I'll have fun the next week's as no thumb is pretty handicapped .

And today we have in Germany a pretty severe snow storm.

I really hope that the server rooms @ company don't get flooded or shit like that.

Roof is leaking... Due to rainy stormy weather here, I have now 3 buckets in my flat for catching the water.

Next thing that broke was the faucet in the kitchen... Whoever installed the kitchen (inherited from previous tenant) was a fricking fuck nugget. Not only are most important parts like the stove unbalanced (cooking is very fun...) - but most things were wrongly installed.

The rubber band under the faucet was a few mm larger than the faucet itself... Stretched out as someone really tightened the screws... Too tight. Friction tore the rubber band on one side. Note that the faucet is one of the large, pompous ones which weigh a fuckton. So the fucking faucet now - as the rubber band tore - turned into a sprinkler as the faucet moves due to water pressure.

Ok. Faucet out, new faucet in. Shouldn't be that hard.

Wait. Wtf?

Turns out they didn't use a milling head... The hole is a cone, top larger - then getting smaller.

Ok. No problem.

Let's do some drill action.

Uhm. Why is the place to the window wet... Oh. Great. Another leak.

*some mopping action*

Back to the kitchen. Realizing I didn't fully close the valve for water -.

Kitchen cabinet, next mopping action.

Water with saw dust is pretty ugly combination -.-

Aka: My relaxing Saturday became a full blown """Fuck you with an anchor""" day instead. Thanks universe. Love you hon. Please, next time put at least some lube on the anchor, entry is quite painful.

Know what really grinds my gears?

People who refer to "ajax" as though it's a separate programming language, instead of what it is, which is an old shitty method in an old shitty library. What I do enjoy is people thinking it's dish soap. That will *never* not be funny to me.

Examples:

1. *generic job description*...5 years experience. Desired skills: HTML, Foundation, PHP, Ajax, Fortran, Assembly, Tagalog, smoke signals.

2. Someone in "marketing": "Do you know Ajax?"

3. Jackass in a coffee shop who uses moustache wax: "I'm an ajax programmer. Yeah I've heard of [any recent band], like twenty years ago. They suck."

Go die, and take ajax with you.

Ahh, that increadible feeling when I start typing to the rythm of music. Especially fast math rock.

Listening to "And so I watch you from afar" right now, it's almost like I'm part of the band 😅

Well seasons always shift too late
Spent too much time now on paths sideways
Everything that is connected and beautiful
And now I know just where I stand
Thank god it's over

(Pikul is a criminally underrated album of the band Silversun Pickups)

This is getting kind of annoying now. Everytime i am planned for a (small) project, there is less to no briefing and nobody has a clue what to do.
Then how the hell am i supposed to?

For those who like experimental, avant-garde metal, have an album recommendation.

The album is called "Huxwhukw" (yeah ik), made by the band Serious Beak.

Rapid changes in time signatures, interesting musical passages, and every song kinda "melts" to the next.

Programming was my backup plan if I didn’t make it as a guitarist in a death metal band lmao.

If I wasn’t a developer, I’d probably try CAD or maybe land surveying.

You know something's truly off when you're being challenged for all the wrong reasons. When all it seems you ever do is apply a band-aid every time instead of making the time to fix it properly and for good. Or when the people who should be making your work easier to do instead suggest new tools and features to integrate into your workflow or project because they plug the holes in their management process and can ignore the leaks for the time being.

I need to push myself out of this place and ramp up my skills and update my personal projects so I can prove myself capable and move on to a better employer. Because I'm starting to hate the stopgap short-term approach that keeps getting shoehorned into our work, and only proceeds to make us look bad even if it's the whims of our bosses causing it in the first place.

Thanks for reading.

Working on a bug that in my opinion never worked. “Sr. Dev” dares to say the function has worked before. I’m a 100% sure it never did.
“Yes but everything is being tested before we go live.”

Dude, we have a monkey testing our stuff are you serious!?

Last week i had a talk with my boss. Actually he more had a talk with me. Why i wasn’t able to finish my work the sprint before. I told him i had to run not one, but two project at the same time and on top of that had to show a new coworker around.

Some how i keep thinking about quitting this shit.

Since i hard problems with a slow harddrive i've been asking for a SSD. It took 6 weeks for a SSD to arrive.
It has been laying on my desk for another 4, because busy projects etc.
Last friday i decided to install it. I have to do everything about the install myself. No IT support nothing.
I've been trying to install windows on the SSD For over a day now. And now im fucking done with it. FUCK THIS SHIT. FUCK THE SSD. FUCK THE FUCKING PROJECT AND FUCK THE FUCKING CLIENT. Goddamn morons around here.

Just found a russian Rammstein cover band called Radio Tapok.
And they sound suprisingly good 😮

Mondays: the amount of typos os too damn higg!

Have you heard of the band 1023MB? They haven't got a gig yet.

Also: Windows Updates are breaking my solution. Goddamn you Microsoft. Burn in hell!

Story time!

I was with some friends, one a CS student and the other one's a mechanical engineer student with coding like a hobby.

I was listening to a song from which the band released the stems (individual tracks) of a song, and this dude made an anime version of it.

Me: Oh God, this is awesome
Mech: how did he do that?
Me: What? The song?
Mech: Yeah, how did he split the voice and everything, is the music like an Ajax request and he queried for the voice

Me and my other friend lock eyes and began to laugh so fucking hard.

Me: that's not how it works, why did you though that?
Mech: I don't know

Had my dev job described as a "computer, desk job" in a condescending tone yesterday by a guy trying to convince me to join his pyramid scheme....
// TODO: come up with awesome rant about this so I can look badass

Was struggling today with some form elements and asked a coworker for help. Coworker start interupting immediately and doesn’t listen to any explaining at all. After trying to get a couple of points a cross he suddenly says: ok, i’m gonna let you finish your sentence...

Thanks twat! Next time show at least a bit of respect and start with that!

I just watched a video where a guy used a homemade band saw made of wood to make another homemade band saw made of wood. This is the very definition of recursion, amirite?

I was promised a new pc with SSD in 2017. I got my own slow but complete pc back in 2018.

The progress is stunning in this company!

So we’re in a completely bugge stage of the repo and ofcourse the client goes: we want this and that functionality live today. And i can’t say no so now i have to figure out if this is a smart thing to do. I guess its not

So my computer is doing ok after becoming spastic over viruses. I did hardware and software cleaning. First time I did removing hardware parts but it worked it way better than expected with the static sensitive parts (I used a anti static wrist band). Congrats to myself I guess :)

There is a reason why we have Static Code Analysis tools.

Also, there is a reason why we have options to configure them.

Idiots will either try to follow things blindly, or try to skip it altogether. Depends on the monkey leading the band.

Don't you just love that moment when you see shit,

Flying.
In a bow.
Through the air.

And actually just starting, just starting, to hit the fan.

Three days before your deadline.

And it is crystal clear the project is gonna end up as a mess.
Total disaster.
But the best thing of all: it's not your fault.
So, you are actually celebrating the mess to come a little, and know that you can blame the guy who isn't trusting you as a new guy, and show him, with all his more years experience, he is the one who can't be trusted.

Coworker during standup this morning: yeah i couldn't work saturday on the project because of VPN problems but i'll stay longer today.

Scrum master goes home.

Coworker, literally 8:10 hours later. Goes home.

He bugfixed another project for an hour and told me i had to work on this project instead of helping another client.

Meanwhile he's bragging about all the experience he has and telling he wants to be the lead dev.

I thought he started early but nope. First drank coffee for another 15 minutes.

Really start with the band I planned with some friends.
Learn some useful electronics
Move to a bigger apartment with a retro and a hobby room.

There are lots of more ideas 😅

7 circles of developer hell

Let me do a non-dev related statement; Bear's Den is a very underrated band indeed. Songs like "Above The Clouds of Pompeii" and "Berlin" are so fucking chill, and melodically and lyrically well crafted.

Dreams are like this. In my dream I got fan of a band, had a whole adventure with them. It was long long long. Then in the end, I wanted to rip their CD, because CD eight was awesome. I put CD eight in the computer (that magically still had a CD drive) and started to crunch hard, how to rip an audio CD on linux? Not knowing made me wake up shocked. Frustrated as fuck.

So, now I am fan of a band, no idea how the music goes and what fucking music program is used to rip a CD on linux?

Aaaargh.

I’ve always hated the pixel fucking part in a webdev project. It’s the most frustrating becausing it’s partly about optinions.

I like the pixels better over there

I want this coler greener

Can we make this animation more cool?

Now imagine pixel fucking in 16 devices and 200 resolutions...

So ive been on this project for months. Project lead did not have a role anymore and now they decide this other guy is the new project lead. This while i am the one having to deploy everything and answer questions from mr Free Lance.

Holy crap i gotta find myself a new job, these people are going nuts.

So i had two jobinterviews at a company and i was basically through for a test. It just so happens that the person who should give the test is sick for a couple of weeks. So instead they asked me to send them some code to evaluate.

Today i got an email telling me that the level of my code doesn’t match my years of experience so the process stops here.

Somehow i can’t help myself but to wish that the guy who evaluated my code now just is sick for at least
another moth!

Funfact: in one of the interviews i was told that they don’t work with junior people. I personally think everyones view on jobtitle/rank is different so i’m not a big fan of it in any case.

However this company LITERALLY has a blog describing how they hired someone without any working experience and thus being a junior.

Guess i’ll be stuck in my current deadend job for a while.

Yeah he was officially free today but he still managed to come a couple of hours. Fucking asshole go fix your fucking code damn idiot. This whole site is broken. Thanx mr wannabe a leaddev. Hope you crash with your damn racecar

The procedure of introducing new coworkers here is still not clear to me.
I hear a new person is introduced behind me, so i thought i had to shake a new hand soon. But no.

I probably get an impersonal email in about a week when he/she has been working here for 4 days.

Wow! My rights to merge work is just revoked. This is fucking bullshit. Whenever i want to merge my work the project lead has to do it. And when he’s sick ill have to go to the fe lead, who is in meetings 24/7. Fucking great

I know this is a strange place to post, but I got selected for my school's jazz band!!!

It's done. Agile has taken over my life. The other day I looked outside and thought, "As a user, I can stand on my lawn without my feet disappearing." And that's how I decided to mow my lawn.

For me, it was when I was on a team doing government work. We had an entire team devoted to deployments etc which were handled via ansible.

Ansible was fairly new at the time (~2015, they had just been bought by RedHat) but the team was definitely doing a great job picking it up and creating install playbooks for _every_ piece of our distributed infrastructure (load balancers, application servers, queues, databases, everything).

I luckily left before stuff got too hairy, but last I heard they are more than 6 months behind schedule. They STILL can't get a reproducible install process with the ansible playbooks! And it's all due to tech debt ie not giving any time to fix things, so its just band aid after band aid.

It's really sad to hear because the sytem itself was pretty cool, completely horizontally scalable and definitely miles ahead of the program they've been using for the last 20 years.

Got a call by a recruiter for a function i already applied at and already got rejected as well.

That was a very fast call!

I was told to be more inclusive.
So from now on, i (void *) everything and compile with -w

I've had my share of both good and bad coworkers.

My best memories are definitely from the late 90's, early 2k's. The team I was a part of back then really had the best attitude. I particularly remember one of them, who ended up being a PM. He was always joking around, nothing was ever too serious to make fun of. He was an old school punk, and it did show. Although he was always professional in meetings with customers and when it mattered. If I'm not totally mistaken, he started a punk band in his fifties, where noone knew how to play or sing. Great guy!

In my current job, all the good and nice people are either quitting or bullied out of the company. I miss them. Sigh.

A typical (Covid) day (for me) being self employed. I tend to start working at around 8am, only break to make coffee, and by 3:30 in the afternoon I fall asleep til 5pm. Then I get some food, play my bass, mess around in garage band, drink a bottle of wine, watch some crap movie, go to bed around 1:00am rinse and repeat. I never work weekends anymore. Interested to know your Covid day,.

Because i had some problems on sites in the past that were iOS specific i configured one of the leftover Macs here as a test device. A week later this laptop has been kidnapped and until now it is gone. I can start installing everything again on a new one because one of the fellow workers here is stupid as fuck

Im done here with the discussions about the capabilities of a senior person. They are looking for a senior frontender and everything being said makes me feel less welcome by the day. Being a frontender myself.

Mark my words: they are looking for a replacement and i’m fired this summer.

!dev

Well, it's time for a personal thing today, because I was hit with some shit today that I'm still kinda shook about.

So, as a bit of introduction (I've mentioned these in previous posts before but whatever, not everybody sees everything): I'm currently a senior in high school and I'm in the school's band (neither are too related, but a bit of setup for this story). I've been talking to a girl lately and I think I like her. She's fun to be around, kinda silly, and just great overall. She makes me happy and I like it. Her name is Grace, her sister's name is Taylor (just to avoid confusion later)

In the school's band, we play at home football and basketball games. Today was a basketball game. Normally when there's a game I just stay after school because I don't want to go home and come back a couple hours later, plus I like to hang out with some of the other people who do the same thing.

Grace was staying after for the game too. I was talking to her in the band room, kinda flirting a bit (on an unrelated side note, she's ticklish). Someone comes in the band room because he wanted to practice a bit, to get ready for the game. She's going back and forth between the band room and somewhere else (not too sure where she was). At one point I left to get a drink, come back, she's sitting next to him, just talking. I join the conversation, and her sister (Taylor) comes in, to get ready herself.

I go over to talk to Taylor for a minute. She looks at Grace and the other guy, then looks at me and just says "separate them". To which I said "...what? why? how?"

Me and her go outside the band room and she tells me that basically the guy has been cheating on his girlfriend with Grace, and it's just hurting everyone involved, except him basically. His girlfriend doesn't seem to fucking care, and he's done it before with someone else. (The other person actually like vaguely mentioned it to me a long time ago, but I didn't really know what she was talking about until now)

So basically, dude's cheating on his girlfriend with Grace. And I like Grace. Honestly don't know what the fuck to do. I want to do something because whenever something's going on with Grace, her sister always trusts me to make sure shit goes right. Some times when Grace wouldn't eat, her sister would always talk to me and ask me to make sure she actually eats.

Fuck guys. This stuff has been on my mind for the past ~4 hours and I don't know what to do, or if I even can do anything about it. I just needed to get this shit off my chest.

Sorry for the long personal story. Some parts I didn't really articulate very well. Honestly it was more of me just getting everything into words.

If i could estimate a schema issue. I looked at this site once in my time here. Don’t know shit about schema’s.
Estimating haha.

Im not asking you an estimate for example building a rocket. Right?

I don’t know this shit.

I'm on a project that has been off the rails for a few weeks. We're no longer working off tickets/the scrum board. Clients are asking for production servers yesterday.

Things are behind. Some people are working nights and weekends. I'm one of the people who are vary vocal about not working over time and I haven't worked a single night or weekend yet (we're salary exempt too; no extra pay).

I even bought up in a meeting how I was not happy about people being guilt tripped for not working over (our PO messaged me out of band a few weeks back telling me my teammates would appreciate me putting in more effort).

I agreed to work this Sunday and already regret it, even though they said there'd be compensation (without mentioning what that compensation is). I was also told everyone is doing it and that's not true either.

In my 18 years in IT, I've worked at ~ 13 companies. This one is in the bottom 3 for sure.

So, the wanna be lead FE dev came in late this morning. I asked him if everything worked out with his home. Turned out he didn't have an appointment for his home.

He decided to see a friend for breakfast.
Now... This guy is is going through a tough time with a girl but still... wtf. At least tell your coworkers about something like this. Just made up an excuse "for personal reasons".

No he just stays away and nobody knows how what or why. Like... wtf?

Anyway, he's here now. Surfing tech sites as usual. Instead of working on the project in Jira.

And ofcourse project won't be done by the end of the day
*sight*

The last ten days i’ve been working on some animations for this website. Basic stuff but when you make elements move on scroll, people go wild.

The designer had a big opinion on this ofcourse.
So big she hád to scroll through the page herself.

So, multiple times a day, for the past two weeks she came over, checked animations, and gave a bit feedback on what could be improved.

She never mentioned the labels that where only appearing on scroll. Everything was just fine after 9 days.

However on day #10 i got a bug that the labels had to be appearing “just after loading the page”.

Like what?! Are people to dumb to scroll 2mm on a page? Damn ho. Wtf do you mean with “just after loading the page”. 1sec? 2sec? 10sec?

Let’s start the week great with a scrum master complaining about a functionality that isn’t working, and a coworker that’s pointing in my direction.

Go point your finger elsewhere (***)

So there is this project from hell that ive been working on for 6 months...

We have won an award for it. First reaction when i heard it was nominated was: Do you think i’m happy with this? This project has taken blood sweat and tears goddammit.

But today the actual piece of glass came in. I can’t help but to feel proud.

So i had a challenge with a js slider and i wanted my coworker to think along. I was trying to explain my problem and the steps taken so far but, as always, he wants to interrupt me after to sentences. He somehow always thinks he knows things better.

Dude let me first explain my shit before you start working on your solution. This is pure disrespect asshole!

A band named themselves 1023MB. They haven't got their gig yet.

I bought a new router for work yesterday, only a cheap thing as the old one gave up. The guys have got WiFi again and as it's dual band I've got my own private WiFi band. Winning!!

Yes and we recently opened a new office in Amsterdam. Because because from Amsterdam only want to do business with people from Amsterdam.

Well great. You think i want to go over there? My company has an office in Switserland. And the previous one in Curacao. I got here because i can bike or even walk this distance if i wanted.